So frustrated

[steve_erkle]

I've been on this website for a few months now, and it's got a lot of good information.

However, I'm soo frustrated with my life

Let me just state that i'm in high school- therefore don't need to really go out and pick up girls. And i'm not that worried about getting girls, i just want to gain confidence in myself and be happy.

Right now I've got a bunch of guy friends, i talk to girls in school and sometimes hang with them out of school. However I am still pretty quiet and feel like I can't really be myself around people. Dont start thinking I'm a loser, i'm actually in the "popular" group and i'm pretty well liked. I'm above average looking... I hit the gym 5 times a week and have a good body. Uhh, basically the thing that is holding me back is my shyness/lack of confidence.

Now here's what confuses me. For the past few months I've been playing guitar and working on my body, and not worrying about girls much, because that's what this site says works. Work on you, and the girls will come. However, I find that there hasn't been much of a change at all. My body is a little better, and I got better at guitar... but the rest is the same. I'm at a loss for things to do. I'm thinking i should just go out there and do a bunch of things to come out of my shell.. what do you think?

Let me just say that a couple years ago i was the shyest kid, and then i slowly got a bunch of "cooler" friends, got a girlfriend and basically came out of my shell a lot. I think a lot of it was because i improved my appearance and became "hot". Therefore girls started wanting me, so i started gaining confidence in myself. But is this the right way to do things? Relying on other girls opinions of myself?
(I gotta say that this period of my life was the funnest, happiest time of my life though)


Sooo, what should I do? I'm so lost in life and just don't know if i should:


Focus on improving things in my life and not worry about gaming girls
Work on my looks like i did in the past to get me "hot"
Do things completely out of my comfort zone to "unshy" me

All 3?

Something else?

Ugghhh, i know this is long but let me know what you think. Much appreciated.

 

[steve_erkle]

anybody?...

 

[Dannyrt34]

Definitely work on being happy and confident in yourself all the way man! I used to be like that. The problem looks to me is when you're out with your friends your too worried about how they view you, you hold back your true self because you fear they may not like what they see.

It's hard, but there will be a time when you just have to 'let go' and be the REAL YOU. Sometimes you have to be a big goofball.

Here's an example:
I went to a party the other night. I showed up late cause my Ipod froze and I wanted to put songs on it before i left my house lol. The party was over one of my girl friends houses, and I over heard them talking about me in the other room. This is what i heard:

Girl1: Listen to this, I talked to Danny before he left and he was like "I'll be late my ipod froze"

Girl2: (laughs) He's such a dork, but you gotta love him

Girl1: Yeah things wouldnt be as fun without a goof like him around.

Now you see, it was over something stupid but you can kinda get an idea of what I mean. If you are confident in yourself, you can show who you really are, even your goofy side. And people will love it, just because your still confident.

 

[steve_erkle]

bump

 

[steve_erkle]

Definitely work on being happy and confident in yourself all the way man! I used to be like that. The problem looks to me is when you're out with your friends your too worried about how they view you, you hold back your true self because you fear they may not like what they see.

It's hard, but there will be a time when you just have to 'let go' and be the REAL YOU. Sometimes you have to be a big goofball.

Here's an example:
I went to a party the other night. I showed up late cause my Ipod froze and I wanted to put songs on it before i left my house lol. The party was over one of my girl friends houses, and I over heard them talking about me in the other room. This is what i heard:

Girl1: Listen to this, I talked to Danny before he left and he was like "I'll be late my ipod froze"

Girl2: (laughs) He's such a dork, but you gotta love him

Girl1: Yeah things wouldnt be as fun without a goof like him around.

Now you see, it was over something stupid but you can kinda get an idea of what I mean. If you are confident in yourself, you can show who you really are, even your goofy side. And people will love it, just because your still confident.

well actually,i shouldnt have said i cant be myself around anyone. i can be myself is around friends. but not around people im not comfortable with.

and lately ive been trying to be myself but.. ugh idk its kind of difficult to be myself when i don't completely know who i am. i think sometimes i try too hard to "be myself" and i end up having this whole "just say whatever you want and be goofy, dont care about what other peolple think" and i end up saying random **** and being just weird.. so i'm not sure if thats really me or what. sorry, i'm kind of ranting here.

86 replies and only one person responding.. wtf is that? come on guys, help me out... i'm tired of putting time into myself and not reaping the benefits i seek

 

[Interceptor]

Steve ,
there are no overnight changes.
Realizations, and inspirations come in waves. Major breakthroughs are not constant. They only arrive when you are ready for them.

You may also try to realize that no one here owes you anything, nor are they obligated to reply, or try to help you.
Be thankful for the replies you DID get.

The first step to change is to APPRECIATE what you DO have.

In this case, the first step is to acknowledge that at least a few people whom are total strangers to you took their precious time out of their day, and made an effort to try to help you.

So leanr how to be thankful for what you DO have.

Dont be BLIND to it.

You can NEVER NEVER EVER appreciate anything in life if you dont appreciate the things you have in your life NOW.

Its ok to want more success, prosperity and abundance, but the first step is to realize that you DO have those things now anyway.
So dont turn a blind eye to the things you do have.
And do not grow up into one of the immature, ego feeding, temper tantrum throwing ENTITLED little boys. That is most annoying.


As I was saying, the environment and circumstances you live in NOW, are a result of your PAST choices. And those choices took YEARS to manifest.

THUS...

If it took YEARS to get where you are now, it will take YEARS to CHANGE , and REPROGRAM all the circumstances that you DO NOT Want.
Do you understand???

YOu MUST change your mindset.
Learn how to be grateful.
Appreciative.
Respectful.
Not Entitled.
Feeling of worth and deserving.
And feeling you MUST GIVE BACK to the world, not always TAKING TAKING TAKING. The world doesnt owe you.

Look into Deep Inner Game, On Being A Man, and Power of Now.

Research the BE, DO, HAVE Paradigm.