So disappointed in myself...

[Rafa]

I know... you all are tired off all this b(i)tching... i am just really disappointed in myself and need some guidance...
so, i got in a lotta trouble a few months ago. My parents sent me on Outward Bound (a self-building experience in which you go out on an expedition in the wild). I came back as the most generous and kind guy you would ever meet. I had complete confidence in myself... Anyway, I was reaaaally nice and generous and, as is commonly said, the nice guy doesn't get the poon... I was just willing to do a favor whenever asked of me... I became a complete pushover.
I started reading up on sosuave and tried to learn techniques that could help me in my quest of getting some (haven't hooked up in A WHILE). I don't know how to explain how it happened, but I have become a total ****. I tried to just "be myself" and have utter confidence. I created an attitude in which I could have flowing conversation and kind of make fun of the girl I was talking to, but not piss them off. It worked for a little bit and it seemed like I was building attraction... but I got self conscious somehow and nowe I have become a complete d(i)ck... I can tell that Im pissing off my friends with this attitude and the girls arent attracted now because Im just a complete douche.
I try to be myself and speak whats on my mind but I end up being a douche... and the thing is, Im not even getting girls. Every time I feel like a girl is attracted to me, I am too afraid to make a move. I feel like punching a wall. I have a goal to hook up with 4 girls before October 31st, and I still think I could make this goal... but I feel like reading the tips on sosuave has made me become an a(s)shole. Does anyone have advice?

 

[digital_sunrise]

There isn't a magic pill that you can take to get rid of this issue.

You've already taken the first step. You realized what your issue is and even what causes it. If you know sosuave is the source then stop going on sosuave.

If you know not taking a move isn't getting you any girls, then make a move.

 

[BigSmooth]

Rafa, first off I've been on a Outward Bound program before so I know pretty well your experiences through that.


I also came back as a genuinely generous person that was spiritually confident in all facets of life. It was honestly the first time I possessed complete confidence in myself and was in tune with my feelings and emotions. It was definitely a life changing experience and the the life lessons I learned and the attitude I developed during the expedition will stay with me forever.

You are so lucky to have gone on an Outward Bound program. Don't put it to waste. Utilize the things you learned and apply them to your every day life. I went on a mountaineering program in the mountains of Washington. The leadership skills and the morals I developed there have fared me well in life so far. You need to get back in touch with the person you were during this time. No one likes to be around a douchebag. Honestly, no one does.



There is literally no good reasons to be an utter douchebag. You can be the cool, suave, charismatic guy who also has very genuine redeeming qualities and get the same amount, if not more, girls than the one-track minded douchebag.


The thing is that you need to stop trying to be a douchebag. All your antics you have described so far could lead you to be known as the douchebag very fast. And seriously, who wants to be known as the dbag their whole life? There is nothing beneficial to that.


Find your morals. Find your inner confidence and kindness. Develop them and start living the life you should live instead of trying to be this fake shell of you who is a complete douchebag.

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, you're in a good place. You fully recognize the problem, and that is the necessary first step toward calibrating yourself socially.

Just keep the word, "balance" in mind. Find a person who seems to have attained a good measure of that balance and see if you can incorporate some of that into your own personality.

You're on the right track, brother. You are aware, and therefore you will get a handle on it.