So after a decade of lots and lots of social experience, I'm still incredibly awkward

[Demystify]

So here's the deal, I'm not an introvert at all by any means. I accept any social invitation I get and always try to go out at least once a day aside from work related stuff. Over the past decade, I've made lots of good friends and a few great best friends, I've had a couple of female friends and I've gotten laid once. On the Myers-Briggs personality test I scored extraversion on the extraversion/intraversion part of the test. Despite all the social experience I've had, I'm still ridiculously awkward.

So what can I work on to change my awkwardness since I've learned that being really social doesn't help get rid of my awkwardness?

 

[SLY]

How did you get lucky? might I ask...

 

[Demystify]

How did you get lucky? might I ask...

I was on hard drugs and the girl was really slutty. I quit doing drugs and I don't want to do them ever again. And I also don't want to have to go out of my way to find slutty girls.

 

[Demystify]

Bump

 

[SmoothTalker]

I think if you want help you're going to need to elaborate on what you mean by awkward.

 

[Demystify]

I think if you want help you're going to need to elaborate on what you mean by awkward.

I can't really pinpoint it. But girls will say EVERYTHING I do is awkward, even though everything I do seems completely normal to me.

 

[ENIGMA16]

We can't help you if you don't even know the problem you're trying to solve.

Sit down with a girl or some girls that are friends and figure out why they think you're awkward. Then translate this from girl talk into thought and post it here.

 

[Demystify]

You need to go out and meet new people. And I don't mean meet new girls, I mean meet new "people." Go join some clubs, hang out with different groups of people. The more kinds of people you interact with, the more socially calibrated you become.

Didn't you read my first post? I've had plenty of social experience with all kinds of people. Interacting with people hasn't helped me to get rid of my awkwardness at all.

 

[Demystify]

Read the second paragraph in my post. Have you been doing that? That's served me very well in transforming from a shy, awkward, introverted guy to a social extrovert who's usually the life of the party.

Yeah, but I'm not an introverted guy at all. I'm an extrovert who happens to be awkward.

 

[Accension]

You seem to think that progressive-desensitation can work and that by understanding your problems you can fix them -- and what a load of cra>!

Instead, change your thinking.
You're still an awkward thinker, and so you still feel awkward, and so you still are awkward.

See?

When ever you feel awkward from now on, distort that feeling.
Understand how being awkward feels.
If it was a physical entity in your body (which it is), how would it move?

Now, change its movement to that of a calmer feeling.
Calmer feelings are much slower in movement.
My particular 'calm feelings' seem to vibrate slightly -- similar to being high, if you've felt that before.

Note that this calm feeling is exactly the same as how a non-awkward person feels all the time.
Therefore, by feeling such a feeling -- you aren't awkward.

Over time, this feeling will rush over you without conscious effort.
In the same way you have trained yourself to feel awkward at particular times, so you can train yourself to feel calm.