earthshyne
Senior Don Juan
After dithering about it for a few years, I decided to visit my doc to make arrangements for a vasectomy. No kids, happily divorced, and being infertile would be one less hassle and worry.
I don't exactly know what anyone else's experience was like, but mine was pretty painless. The whole thing was over in less than 20 minutes.
The procedure is very simple: After a local anaesthetic was injected - which was the most uncomfortable part of the whole procedure, and even that was not really a big deal - one small puncture was made in the scrotum just underneath the base of the penis. Then the doctor went fishing for the vas with sharp and curvy tools only slightly modified since the middle ages.
The only peculiarity to it was when the doctor pulled on one of my vas deferens to make the cut, my ear twitched. Pull, twitch. Pull, twitch. I'm sure there's something attached somehow.
After the snip he cauterized the two sliced ends with a hot wire. I watched with curious bemusement as my fertility vanished in a wisp of smoke. The curls of smoke looked suspiciously sperm-like in shape. Maybe that was my imagination. Then again, maybe not.
Then the ends of the vas were clipped with a small tag that has a best before date on it, which is recycled from old bread bags.
I drove home myself without incident.
I spent the following day, Saturday, watching DVDs and generally taking it easy. Very little discomfort. The doc suggested I buy myself a bag of peas and use it as an ice pack, but I already had one of those flexible ice gel-packs in my freezer so I used that instead.
On Sunday there was absolutely no pain whatsoever (neither was there Saturday, except when I inadvertently tried to move a kitchen chair out of the way using my scrotum - the stars I saw were the most brilliant shade of iridescent blue...).
I went back to work on Monday and did't experience any discomfort at all. I have an office job that does not require a lot of physical strain. It may be different if you're lugging around boxes or pails of paint all day.
There was, however, one thing I had failed to consider.
Before one goes in for neutering, it is requested that one shaves himself to make the operating area clear. So far, so good. No problem.
Eventually hairs start to grow back. A bit of itching results, but that it's a relatively minor inconvenience.
However, I had not considered the possibility that the shaved hairs would grow back as WHITE.
I don't mean the sort of off-coffee colour that my hair gets in the summertime. I don't mean blonde. I don't mean silver. I don't even mean grey.
I mean WHITE. Like, snowball white.
At this rate, I'm going to be known as Mr Santa Genitalia. Ho ho ho.
I had considered Grecian Formula, but it says on the package NOT TO BE USED ON SENSITIVE AREAS OF THE BODY. I had assumed this did not refer to eyeballs, nor the hair in one's ears.
So, the procedure is a snap. The fur regrowth is a bit of a surprise.
Oh... I almost forgot... I start with the Vienna Boys' Choir in May.
I don't exactly know what anyone else's experience was like, but mine was pretty painless. The whole thing was over in less than 20 minutes.
The procedure is very simple: After a local anaesthetic was injected - which was the most uncomfortable part of the whole procedure, and even that was not really a big deal - one small puncture was made in the scrotum just underneath the base of the penis. Then the doctor went fishing for the vas with sharp and curvy tools only slightly modified since the middle ages.
The only peculiarity to it was when the doctor pulled on one of my vas deferens to make the cut, my ear twitched. Pull, twitch. Pull, twitch. I'm sure there's something attached somehow.
After the snip he cauterized the two sliced ends with a hot wire. I watched with curious bemusement as my fertility vanished in a wisp of smoke. The curls of smoke looked suspiciously sperm-like in shape. Maybe that was my imagination. Then again, maybe not.
Then the ends of the vas were clipped with a small tag that has a best before date on it, which is recycled from old bread bags.
I drove home myself without incident.
I spent the following day, Saturday, watching DVDs and generally taking it easy. Very little discomfort. The doc suggested I buy myself a bag of peas and use it as an ice pack, but I already had one of those flexible ice gel-packs in my freezer so I used that instead.
On Sunday there was absolutely no pain whatsoever (neither was there Saturday, except when I inadvertently tried to move a kitchen chair out of the way using my scrotum - the stars I saw were the most brilliant shade of iridescent blue...).
I went back to work on Monday and did't experience any discomfort at all. I have an office job that does not require a lot of physical strain. It may be different if you're lugging around boxes or pails of paint all day.
There was, however, one thing I had failed to consider.
Before one goes in for neutering, it is requested that one shaves himself to make the operating area clear. So far, so good. No problem.
Eventually hairs start to grow back. A bit of itching results, but that it's a relatively minor inconvenience.
However, I had not considered the possibility that the shaved hairs would grow back as WHITE.
I don't mean the sort of off-coffee colour that my hair gets in the summertime. I don't mean blonde. I don't mean silver. I don't even mean grey.
I mean WHITE. Like, snowball white.
At this rate, I'm going to be known as Mr Santa Genitalia. Ho ho ho.
I had considered Grecian Formula, but it says on the package NOT TO BE USED ON SENSITIVE AREAS OF THE BODY. I had assumed this did not refer to eyeballs, nor the hair in one's ears.
So, the procedure is a snap. The fur regrowth is a bit of a surprise.
Oh... I almost forgot... I start with the Vienna Boys' Choir in May.
