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SMV + Showing Intent + Indifference over "Game"

oOh Nasty

Master Don Juan
Apr 23, 2002
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I'm at a point in my life where I'm mostly trying to build up my business and focus on things in a more macro-oriented perspective. So this may not apply to many of you because I still think "pick-up" and "gaming" is necessary in different phases of life.

I quickly breezed through a few posts of new users asking for specific advice on what to text, how to text, when to initiate, etc.

For people who are still learning about frame, I guess specific advice like this is useful as you're building up on your experiences until you eventually come to that point where you realize frame management is more important than memorizing individual specific guidelines on what to do in any given situation.

For the last few years, I haven't really thought about "when to text, what to text" or anything along those lines. My life has revolved around trying to build up my network, set up automated systems, and trying to increase my value in different circles which I deem valuable based on my own goals. It also helped me a lot that these circles consisted of women who were my type as well. So it's a win-win situation for me. I basically do what I do, and if a cute girl happens to stumble upon my path, I let it be known that we should do something or go somewhere. If the answer is no in any kind of way, then that's it. No more further "gaming" or trying any push-or-pull or ignore tactics. I continue along with work, and if she's a part of work, then we continue along with work as if nothing ever happened.

But I guess I should be fair to the "game" aspect of all of this. If a girl in my proximity is just too "cold," then I'll forget about any chances with her right away. And also there's this certain gut-feeling timing in my "approaches." Social gracefulness has been far more successful for me than out-right blind boldness (approaches or pickups on stone-cold girls). In my professional experiences however, the majority of girls I found to be cute were never "cold" to me by virtue of seeming to have higher social value than them. Which brings me to my next point.

Being able to lean on SMV is icing on the cake. Build up your SMV as much as possible, and then just let your intentions be known to chicks who are moderately warm towards you. The third part which is "indifference" is important because despite you being good-looking and with above average SMV, some chicks just won't give. That's just how it is. You need to come from a place where it doesn't really matter whether she follows along with you or not. At the end of the day, unless she's already claimed by some other Alpha, you'll probably cross her mind again given you keep maintaining and growing your SMV.

I think of SMV as your life successes and wins particularly in relation to the dating market...well obviously. But what I mean is, theoretically, high SMV is a byproduct of a materially successful life with a myriad of accomplishments, probably. There's probably a correlation between men with high SMV and possession of material things that most people would desire. Of course, there's also men with low SMV who have money and desirable material status, but that most likely means they're unbalanced in some sort of way or are socially inexperienced or inept.

I just wanted to write about this because I believe that the pursuit of high SMV is very closely related to the pursuit of your great ideal life. High SMV men are not only desired by women, but also admired by men and can be very rewarding long-term. You'll have the means to take care of yourself and the people and things you care about. Granted you keep some sort of ego-checking and personal values system for yourself (what some might call spirituality) but I digress. Build your life up working towards your personal life mission, gain the confidence to NGAF, and then casually let your intentions be known to the women you desire, but in a way where it doesn't matter.


Don Juan
Oct 16, 2020
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Great post, thank you.

I think building your SMV and lifestyle is so important nowadays because of how the dating market has evolved. Unless you're extremely good looking dating apps are a slog: it takes a ton of effort just to meet a bunch of 6s and 7s. Same with cold approach: it can be a lot of fun but it's also a big time sap; and personally, I don't plan to be walking round drunken clubs at 1am when I get into my 40s.

I'll always do cold approach because I enjoy the buzz and the randomness of it, but there is a paradox to it as you say: by focusing on SMV your results in game tend to improve way more than from just doing a bunch of cold approaches.
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