SMS Text messaging..good or bad?

[MadeInTheUK]

ok, hi guys
like the last 3 or 4 girls ive been seeing, we basically only communicate through texts... an odd call...but mainly she (whichever one) would text me saying hi how are you...then a full conversation would go on...and would end up organising dates/meet ups over text aswell..

now up until now i thought it was probably ok, i keep to my rule of don't text back straight away..leave it 15-45minutes at least...but i don't know if its even good to text at all?
texting is a very girlie thing to do..and they will text me everyday just to say hi and what you upto and stuff...

cheers

 

[Austin Allegro]

Yes, women in the UK are obsessed with texting. I see them on my bus to work in the morning spending the whole journey tapping away to their b/fs (who they probably saw 20 minutes earlier).

Now the question is, does this raise IL? I don't really know. Women are so keen on texting, it's possible that if you don't get involved in texting, they might just lose interest altogether.

So I'd say use the facility sparingly. Don't get involved in text tennis. Reply cryptically and leave a long time (at least an hour) before replying. You need to be available on text but not TOO available. Make sure your texts are C&F as well.

Speak to them on the phone to set up dates though.

 

[squirrels]

People in UK use SMS because talking in person would mean they'd have to look at each other's teeth. (bad joke, I'm sorry)

But anyway, SMS has its place. My great-grandmother used to say, "Everything in moderation." But so much is lost in text messaging and chat. Emotions are lost, nonverbal communication is lost, the opportunity to convey confidence and masculinity is often lost, even simple things like conversational skills are lost. Use it like you would a short letter or sticky-note. I wouldn't hold whole conversations on it.

For example, when you reach this point: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm...7&e=8&u=/nm/20040524/od_nm/ouken_odd_iliad_dc

It's gone too far.

 

[duke007]

i'll be researching texting and forming relationships for my thesis this year. I'll have answers to all these questions by november so stayed tuned!

 

[dig it]

I think that text communication vs real communication will make an excellent thesis.

I think it sounds original. And havnt i had some experiences with it.

90% bad 10% good.

The bad comes into it because sms is a waste of time if you dont escalate the conversations into real convo's.

Real convos rock.

sms convos are only good for "can u pick up the milk" and stuff like that, or stuff you have prior or familiar knowledge too.

Girls message me heaps too. In the past it was epidemic before i got so mad with it, i refuse to message nowadays.

This is how bad it was, i wasted....WASTED over a couple of hundred bucks one time messaging a girl, i sent a couple of hundred over a month or so, because she was too scared to break up with her bf for me...little did i know then that it was me who was not making the leads and moves with her properly.

You gotta escalate messages, gain momentum with them if you are to get report with a girl....having a specfic convo on them is pointless.

Take the words i am using in this piece now....you know nothing about me really unless you totally anylise what i am saying....and even then in a sms it is easy for me to muck up words or mis-use words...or to get the feeling of what i am saying just a little bit wrong....you see, wihtout body language, you only have a 10% communication lee-way for sms....in a post like this i would estimate i have a 25% leeway with conversation as i can ellaborate....but you can't ellaborate in a text message.

Also...text messages are dull. The girl who wanted to cheat with me, and other girls who i used to message (including my girlfriend who moved overseas for a while, and subsequently broke up because of my mis-use of sms'...overusing, saying wrong things, making me seem dull, etc)

If you want romantic interest with these girls, get them from sms' to real talk. You gotta escalate it.

The best way is obviously ****y and funny....its a power play....or blitzkreig....great in the shorterm until it fizzles out....there is only so much a person can take.

So do that. There are some brilliant ones online to get ahold of and its so easy to make up your own.

To escalte it, never push a girl by saying....hey, you better call me instead of texting as i dont like/want to text anymore...because they get bothered pretty quick and wonder why you are talking to them in the first place...you can imagine the reasons...hypocritical and\or pushyness.

Defidently limit your messages. Its hard. esecially with a girlfriend you havnt seen for months, and when you do see her, yo practically rape each other....and mind you, even tho that did happen, so hot, the 4 year relationship was down the gurgler by then because of mis-communication and poor attraction from myself.

Defidenly only one or two messages a day....you gotta make her want to talk to you/miss you.

Defidently no conversations. Always be busy, and if you do sms, make sure you are doing something....cross-examine your own sms....if you get off work at 5pm and you have a text message waiting on your phone....wait for an hour before you reply....no use her thinking once you got off work you just HAD to see her text message.

Same rules apply as in real life....except sms is insignificant to you, and C&F

 

[dig it]

That was the bad. I've had many relationships long and short with girls...

this is the good, good in a way. There are two types of things with chicks these days....real real relationship in person, and the step-apart relationship over sms before she will come near you...its like she is unsure of herself....sometimes they wont even call....i prefer the real type myself.


So anyway got a squeeze. She left a couple of message on my phone one night...."are you free tonight?" I have not known her much, but i have her phone number form somewhere and she has mine.

she wanted me over. interesting. perfect example for you.

I didn't want to reply until the next day, if at all.

When i came by my phone again at 12 pm, i found out she had called my mobile.

I waited another 3 hours before i even bothered to communicate with her.

So all i said was in a message "Name, you called my mobile...."

Now, instead of calling she sms' me back saying "i have you on my phone but i dont remember your actual name. "

To that i replied with "U forgot?!, is your memory really that bad? Are you planning to put my picture on your wall or something."

Then after a pause of some minutes "My short term memory is bad, i have your number but i forgot. Are we going to shag?"

I said "Shag?! I don event know if you're a good kisser yet!"

She said "Oh i defidently remember you now. When you want to meet at my house you can. If you want to take me out beforehand and abstain for a while that is good, but let me know please."

Then she sends a 2nd "But the question is are YOU a good kisser"

Me: "Thats what they say. Why dont you find out for yourself. "

Her: "Well the phone works both ways, give me a call when you want to come around, any time suits me. see you soon. bye"

Ofcourse, what did i do...i didn't reply or call. she will get her call when i am ready, this weekend, or whenever. i get around to it.

But she wont be getting another txt from me unless she txt's me, to which i will follow the same MINIMAL approach with sharp lines that get my point across. Irresistable.

No convo really, just actions into words, mucking around and fun, and intention

I dont want to hear about her day until she can say it to me in the flesh. Its pointless otherwise and too many things and opertunities are missed. You can only follow one convo stream in a txt message really, and you can't ask q's easily. and thus, the way we speak and who we portray ourselves as over time and or messages, inevitably become diluted/mixed\not who we are/ unintentionlly different to what we would want.

 

[dig it]

And failed to mention,( i am hopeless at messages by the way), that at ANY point, i would have not replied to her messages had it not been worthwhile for me to do so.

sms=evil. nothing can be built usually. obviously the girl above was attracted to me already. i wouldn't have a hope in hell otherwise.

 

[splinterkb]

Although text messaging is becoming quite a popular trend everywhere, I still prefer to use the old traditional phone. You can't put any tone into a text message, so she won't know how to take some of the things you say, and it could turn out messy.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by squirrels
People in UK use SMS because talking in person would mean they'd have to look at each other's teeth.

holy fukc, I nearly threw up my lunch. hahahahaa, man that was funny!! So random, I wasnt expecting it......hahahhaahahaa. No offense to anyone in the UK.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Originally posted by CLOONEY
holy fukc, I nearly threw up my lunch. hahahahaa, man that was funny!! So random, I wasnt expecting it......hahahhaahahaa. No offense to anyone in the UK.

Hmmm...and I suppose texting isn't too popular in the USA, as how could the Americans type on those little keys with their huge, obese, sausage fingers...! No offense etc...!

 

[MadeInTheUK]

Originally posted by Austin Allegro
Hmmm...and I suppose texting isn't too popular in the USA, as how could the Americans type on those little keys with their huge, obese, sausage fingers...! No offense etc...!

pmsl

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

In Norway EVERYONE SMS.... I mean that's how everyone sets up things... I've met a couple girls that would call me to ask me out or whatever, but most girls are TXTTXTXTXTXTXTXTXTXT all the time.