"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Smooth's Guide [Introduction to Highschool]

Smooth as Anything

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The journey from middle school to high-school is one full of misconceptions, desires and fears. As students we fear for a difficulty beyond our abilities or a lack of direction in our studies. It has been beaten into you that high-school is to be revered and respected, and that the following 4 years are going to be the “best of your life”. The apprehensive fear of your future, a nervousness dwelling upon every uncertainty conceivable – already you want to make absolutely sure that you will find your classes with minimal difficulty. You wonder if your high school mirrors the ones proposed in movies.

The secret to being popular in middle school and elementary school is actually rather similar to the secret of popularity in high school.

We are all striving to be something different than what we are, except for either the most arrogant or the most fearful. Superior value is the goal of the majority of the human race. It is not any different in high school.

In elementary school, the coolest kids were the ones who were either the most like middle school kids or the ones who stole the jokes and the cool stuff from movies. People wanted to be the people in movies, or they wanted to be middle schoolers.

In junior high (7th to 8th), the most attractive and popular people are oldest looking, and who share characteristics with high school kids. Be it the way they dress, the slang they use, whatever. People wanted to be older, but lacked any knowledge of those who were.

The most essential fact of these two circumstances is that one must reflect the ‘relatively uncool superior’. A 4th grader mimicking the cool kid in 6th grade is contradicting; ergo the 6th grader would be mimicking the cool 8th grade and so on and so forth. If this was true, you would see 3rd graders in mini-skirts and thongs. Damn you Britney Spears! :D

As you step forward into the high school, you’ll witness a foreign culture. Each culture between high schools different, but it tends to reflect the financial situation of the majority, the amount of diversity and so forth.

You can be cool ‘doing your own thing’, but in reality, ‘doing your own thing’ is just mimicking other people in REALITY. Reality, as in, that place outside of your zoo (school).

The first thing you’ll probably realize about your high school is the amount of good looking girls in contrast to your previous years. Don’t be intimidated, one of the biggest changes is the fact that they are wearing makeup. Usually too much makeup, actually, but nevertheless – they’ve got a lot to hide. They’re weak minded, insecure and unconfident about their bodies – but don’t kid yourself, you want that makeup on.

So you’ve got a lot of hot girls and your hormones are probably on high-gear. Life’s a *****, ain’t it? Freshmen don’t get poon. This is not a law, but it is a well-respected fact.

One of the most intimidating things, regardless of the girls, is probably the guys. I realize it can be pretty difficult to talk to a girl when she’s hanging out with a bunch of socially superior guys. Grab your balls and go do it, no one is special.

You’re not going to get shoved into a locker, in fact most upperclassmen won’t even be able to tell your year (regardless of how you look). Looking scared, confused and unconfident is the sure-sign, but nevertheless – nobody is really out there to bite you in the ass.

If you get lost, ask a girl for directions. Not to grow balls, but because some men have small penises and need to takeout their insecurities by leading you down the wrong hall. Girls try to be nice, for the most part.

I’m sure you want to go to high school “and be the ****”. Heh, it doesn’t quite work that way.

Cliques definitely exist within high school, regardless of which high school you attend. Socially unacceptable (Goths/Punks) kids hangout with other socially unacceptable kids. Preps and jocks hangout together… The loners aren’t hanging out. “Stoners” don’t exist as much these days. Ok, I mean obviously, there are definitely a number of kids who smoke enough pot to get a small African country high, but these people tend to avoid getting labeled stoners. Smoking pot is their hobby, not their life. Anyone who smokes pot for a life is a loser.

Being popular amongst the preps does not make you popular amongst the socially unacceptable kids. It’s a matter of fact, primarily because the socially unacceptable kids despise preps.

The only real option is to go undefined, and travel amongst different cliques indiscriminately.

Natural instinct wants you to belong. Naturally, you want yourself to be labeled, to be simple, and to be exact. Life doesn’t work for the lowest common denominator. You must reinvent yourself.

Time is your best friend, and you’ve got 4 (hopefully not 5) years of it. By your senior year, I’m certain you’ll regret caring about all that ‘social ****’ which you're concerned about, currently.

Fact of the matter: Being good in social situations will help you in life, regardless of school. School is bull****, granted, but take a look around and see if you can learn some things outside of class, too.

People might prejudge you because you're a freshmen. Prove them wrong.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Zoso

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The only real option is to go undefined, and travel amongst different cliques indiscriminately
How do you going about becoming "undefined"? I've been trying for awhile to work toward this, and I've made progress as far as talking to people at school. The problem is, once school is out and the real social opportunities begin, I usually end up hanging out with the same 3-4 people. In school I'm friendly with many in the "popular" group, but it's like I'm still an outsider when it comes to weekends and parties and stuff.

I've tried taking the initiative, inviting them to do stuff, but they never reciprocate. I think this is because I'm still seen as part of a different group (my 3-4 closest friends, who are very different and are probably disliked by the other group) and therefore not part of their group. I want to shed this image and become "undefined" but I also don't want to abandon my friends... I just can't see how to do this.
 

InsidiousNstinct

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How do you going about becoming "undefined"?
Its simple.....TALK and...TALK a little more. I'm friends with Goths,Stoners, punks,preps, ugly girls, hot girls,rednecks you name the class and I say I probably get along with em, thats unless their racist.:D

Just talk and be friendly
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Julius_Caesar

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I think that popular kids from within the cliques are much alike. They may not like each other very much but if circumstances were different they would probably friends. ''

Then I think there are popular kids who are the "most popular kids in school". these guys are so g than they can roll with any group. I know of a few guys at my school like that. They generally have a clique of friends (jocks, goths,etc) that they stick with but they could be with any other group.

I wonder what personality characteristics these "most popular" kids have. Funny is probably number one, creative, fun to be around, unusual. But I think that all those things that popular kids have listen above comes from confidence. And that is the secret no one told me. I had to realize this myself. If you are confident and not worried about anything, and you just have fun, popularity comes in tow. of course confidence is hard earned FOR US.
 

Smooth as Anything

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Bump for all the freshmen...
 

comic_relief

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good post

This is what I did. I can travel from skater to prep to goth to whatever. I let whoever wanted to define me define me but I would just prove them wrong by hanging with a different group because I became friends with people before they were into cliques. plus it helps that I don't really give a care to who I talked to at all either. THat helped alot too.
 

Wonderbread166

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Bump for all the freshmen...
Nice post. I'm actually lovin high school now that I have a handle on the social life:D

I'll keep everyone posted...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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