"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Smooth Rants: Meow

Smooth as Anything

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Spoiling is an excuse a poor person makes for not being able to afford the things they desire. “Oh, I didn’t have cable TV growing up. It’s cool though, I wasn’t spoiled.”

What the ****?

I must be tuning into some strange hick frequencies, because in the small desolate word I live in, people don’t get spoiled unless you leave them out in the sun without any water for a week. At that point, perhaps spoiled is an inadequate word.

Let’s give all our attention to the chick with the biggest breasts… Excellent idea! The bump in her shirt makes up for her lack of intelligence, yeah! Brilliant!

6 billion people in the world. Let’s say 3 billion of them are female. That’s 6 billion pairs of breasts, gentlemen. Wow, I just got a tremendous craving for milk.

The high school I attend has somewhere along the lines of 2000 students enrolled. That’s 2000 underage breasts. Now, granted, 1800 of those breasts are on overweight girls with braces, but nevertheless – they lactate.

Pretty simple point: they aren’t special and they don’t deserve your attention. If you’re as impatient as me, that can be difficult to grasp. I turn every corner looking for a nice pair, but alas – one in a hundred. Maybe it’s my standards, but I really don’t think so. I just think everyone has stopped giving a **** about how they look because it’s been beaten into them that they are incapable of looking attractive.

Hey, I don’t disagree!

Try and look decent though, ok? You fat chicks with the tank tops and the mini-skirts… you know who you are. You chicks who shop at Wal-mart for clothing and think it’s fashionable, you know who you are. Hey, no offense, but cover-up. You’re not good looking no matter how much Christina Aguilera tells you otherwise.

One of these days I’m going to be chilling in the food-court, and another fat chick is going to bend-over. God help me if I don’t take my plastic fork and gouge out my eyes with it.

Ok, that was a lie. I would never eat the food court’s ****ty food. Burger King’s greasy heart-attack wrapped in grease-soaked paper, or the Flaming Wok’s cat-disguised-as-beef? Mind boggling, to say the least. Meow.

So, to sum it up, you’re fat, ugly, annoying, and obnoxious and you need to learn when to shut the **** up. Keep hassling me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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JSH

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I agree, cover up you lard arses. Even worse is when girls outright tell me to do something because they have breasts and actively expect me to. Yeah right, they often get a shock.
 

gav

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Originally posted by Smooth as Anything
You’re not good looking no matter how much Christina Aguilera tells you otherwise.
damn right. i think more people need to hear this
 

Cloud-uk

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Heh heh heh, so true...damn I hate fat ass cracks poking out of low tracksuits. Usually with a thong. Nothing screams "hey! I can pike my bike there!" more...

Ugly people need to understand that thinking they look good doesn't make it happen. Oh lord does it not make it happen...:rolleyes:
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Microphone Fiend

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Originally posted by Smooth as Anything
You’re not good looking no matter how much Christina Aguilera tells you otherwise.
Hahaha
 

Julian

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I was at a party last year and this fat chick was talking some racist bullsh1t. I was like "why dont you shut the fvck up you fat fvcking troll!" She started crying and left.

I laughed.
 
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