"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Smiling
- Thread starter Rico
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
thedude4242
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2009
- Messages
- 569
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- 4
funny thing is I started to smile a few times when I went out. I smiled at one girl. later on I talked dirty and she came up and grabbed my stuff. however I didnt even bother going on from there
second I smiled at these hot out of town girls while at the club/bar. later on they came up and talked to me out of no where.
people tell me I am intimidating looking and HB 8-9 blondes have told me that also.they tell me I need to smile more. hot older cheerleaders in school would come up and talk to me and say you always look mad and mean.
so yes smiling can really work when done right.
second I smiled at these hot out of town girls while at the club/bar. later on they came up and talked to me out of no where.
people tell me I am intimidating looking and HB 8-9 blondes have told me that also.they tell me I need to smile more. hot older cheerleaders in school would come up and talk to me and say you always look mad and mean.
so yes smiling can really work when done right.
d!ckmojo
Senior Don Juan
I disagree with smiling too much. If you look into psychology, you will see that amongst humans, smiling is an indication of submission. Its basically a cue to show "look, my teeth aren't sharp, I'm no threat to you". This communication is required under certain circumstances, like: if you are already dominant, you must then create comfort (i.e. by smiling). But the order is critical. First create attraction, then create comfort. If you are extremely good looking, or tough, or alpha, or desirable, or totally pimpin, or woteva, then yes: smile. But the smile must come from the correct context.
thedude4242's comment is the key here. He says:
Not smiling and not laughing is dominant. When a stand up comic starts laughing at his own jokes, its over for him, he's blown it. He needs to stay in character, and so do you.
James Bond doesn't smile, he smoulders.
thedude4242's comment is the key here. He says:
And this is aura that needs to be projected in order for the smile to work for you. If you are just an average, slightly low confidence kinda guy, the smile will automatically put you in the friendzone. You want them to be smiling at you, while you look at them mockingly with a ****ed eyebrow. Engrwpride has it down pat. You want to tease them and pay them out with a str8 face and srs tone, so they can't even be sure if you mean it or not.thedude4242 said:
Not smiling and not laughing is dominant. When a stand up comic starts laughing at his own jokes, its over for him, he's blown it. He needs to stay in character, and so do you.
James Bond doesn't smile, he smoulders.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I must agree with d!ckmojo. I've recently been experimenting because I read that smiling is vitally important. So I started going around smiling and I felt like an absolute douche.
I've currently calbrated to my usual serious look, trying to be a litttle less wide-eyed, and when a woman smiles at me I will offer her a reserved, token smile in return. That means a non-committal half-smile (sort of like a smirk out of one side of my mouth). For me, this seems to work better than the douchy smile I was offering as an experiment. I was giving too much away with that smile.
I think the air you have to always project is "I'm better than you, but if you play your cards right I'm approachable".
I've currently calbrated to my usual serious look, trying to be a litttle less wide-eyed, and when a woman smiles at me I will offer her a reserved, token smile in return. That means a non-committal half-smile (sort of like a smirk out of one side of my mouth). For me, this seems to work better than the douchy smile I was offering as an experiment. I was giving too much away with that smile.
I think the air you have to always project is "I'm better than you, but if you play your cards right I'm approachable".
I'm not a good looking dude...but I've been told I have a million dollar smile. So I show it off and it seems to work.
Don't TRY to be brooding or tough. Be yourself but if you're kinda blah even a fake smile is more attractive!
Don't TRY to be brooding or tough. Be yourself but if you're kinda blah even a fake smile is more attractive!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,758
- Reaction score
- 9,961
No one remembers this study?
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/05/110524070310.htm
This study suggests women prefer men who don't smile.
They even prefer a guy who looks ashamed. Apparently you'll attract her more if you go sulk in a corner.
But they test this by showing them pictures. And if you look at the goofy smile on the guy in the picture, that could be part of the problem.
Personally, I wouldn't put too much stock in this study. It's only one study, and it provides no context of a social situation.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/05/110524070310.htm
This study suggests women prefer men who don't smile.
They even prefer a guy who looks ashamed. Apparently you'll attract her more if you go sulk in a corner.
But they test this by showing them pictures. And if you look at the goofy smile on the guy in the picture, that could be part of the problem.
Personally, I wouldn't put too much stock in this study. It's only one study, and it provides no context of a social situation.
Go smile with teeth showing at a gorilla in a cage, see what happens. It's also a sign of dominance, and that gorilla will not like it.
I also suffer from the "always serious look" and my teeth aren't fantastic (braces did not fix everything), so my smiles are generally without teeth showing anyway.
I also suffer from the "always serious look" and my teeth aren't fantastic (braces did not fix everything), so my smiles are generally without teeth showing anyway.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I think that the use of smiling/not smiling is a matter of nuance and social calibration, like anything else.
I liken it to C&F. Guys often read about C&F and then just start using it to excess across the board alienating women in the process.
I once said that C&F should be used like seasoning on the dinner, and my friend jophil liked that so much he asked me if he could license that phrase and give me royalties, lol. That's because we older guys have developed a more refined sense of using subtlety to devastating effect. When you're younger, it's all about overt displays. That's only natural, and is as it must be.
When you're older, you learn the inherent weaknesses of those overt displays and start to look at more non-intuitive ways to handle situations.
All that rambling madness aside, smiles should be used with intent and not for every situation. Calibration and intent are key. Use what works best for you.
I always have had a very serious look on my face. I'm convinced that a large part of that is that I have had constant pain in my stomach since the day I was born. Last year I tried smiling whenever I encountered a woman, and I had a vague feeling that although they responded with a smile back, I wasn't being regarded in the way I wanted. Later I realized my smile weakened women's perception of me. It NEUTERED me in their eyes.
So I got rid of the douche smile and went to a serious look with a token smile of acknowledgement. My results have been much better. It tells them that you are a man of power and control, and that you are almost doing them a favor by giving them a little token smile out of the corner of your mouth. That seems to keep the masculine perception. A wide-open smile is a giving away of yourself. A token, slight smile shows reserve, thoughtfulness and self control. It is noncommital, whereas a full-on smile is commital.
Having said that, there are probably plenty of guys who will do well with smiling often. It's all about chemistry and what works for YOU. To nutshell it, we need to experiment and see what degree of smiling is congruent with our personalities. Just like C&F, don't use it all the time, as a rule. Use it instead with a deliberate intent. Use smiling when it works for you, and use the brooding look for when that works. It's up to you to determine what your own best personal style is.
I liken it to C&F. Guys often read about C&F and then just start using it to excess across the board alienating women in the process.
I once said that C&F should be used like seasoning on the dinner, and my friend jophil liked that so much he asked me if he could license that phrase and give me royalties, lol. That's because we older guys have developed a more refined sense of using subtlety to devastating effect. When you're younger, it's all about overt displays. That's only natural, and is as it must be.
When you're older, you learn the inherent weaknesses of those overt displays and start to look at more non-intuitive ways to handle situations.
All that rambling madness aside, smiles should be used with intent and not for every situation. Calibration and intent are key. Use what works best for you.
I always have had a very serious look on my face. I'm convinced that a large part of that is that I have had constant pain in my stomach since the day I was born. Last year I tried smiling whenever I encountered a woman, and I had a vague feeling that although they responded with a smile back, I wasn't being regarded in the way I wanted. Later I realized my smile weakened women's perception of me. It NEUTERED me in their eyes.
So I got rid of the douche smile and went to a serious look with a token smile of acknowledgement. My results have been much better. It tells them that you are a man of power and control, and that you are almost doing them a favor by giving them a little token smile out of the corner of your mouth. That seems to keep the masculine perception. A wide-open smile is a giving away of yourself. A token, slight smile shows reserve, thoughtfulness and self control. It is noncommital, whereas a full-on smile is commital.
Having said that, there are probably plenty of guys who will do well with smiling often. It's all about chemistry and what works for YOU. To nutshell it, we need to experiment and see what degree of smiling is congruent with our personalities. Just like C&F, don't use it all the time, as a rule. Use it instead with a deliberate intent. Use smiling when it works for you, and use the brooding look for when that works. It's up to you to determine what your own best personal style is.
Smiling is overrated in my opinion RELATIONSHIP WISE.
If we're talking about public speaking/business setting then sure I can understand smiling.
From my own personal experience and opinion not smiling gives you intrigue, mystery, hardness. All those are traits women love to spend time trying to figure out in a man. To them is like cracking a code which is why the love bad boys (who also don't happen to smile).
I'm not saying to look angry or depressed but for me personally looking serious and all business has worked much better than looking like a happy smiley guy.
Road Warrior
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2010
- Messages
- 19
- Reaction score
- 1
I had read one of the posts a while back about smiling and eye contact. Between Christmas and New Years, I began practicing it heavily on basically everyone I saw. Lock eyes, smile, and pull off eye contact a split second after she does. At first, I kept catching myself pulling my eyes off too soon, but after a while, I could tell right away when I had it. Let me tell you something, THIS S**T WORKS!!
Anyway, I practiced this for a New Years Eve party I was going to. I planned on really playing around with this at the party, however, the second one I tried it on, a good 8, well, that was it for the night!
A few days later, my Mom was admitted to the hospital. I had to do something to keep my spirits up, so being in a hospital full of cute nurses, I figured let's give it a try. Anyway, down the hallway, I saw one looking so I locked on, smiled and pulled off a split second after her, however, my peripheral vision caught her trying to lock back on, so I did, and smiled. Her face had just lit right up and immediately began flipping her hair. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from busting out laughing!! If only it was not an inopprotune time.
Just remember lock eyes, smile, and pull off a split second after she does. When you have it you will know right away!
Anyway, I practiced this for a New Years Eve party I was going to. I planned on really playing around with this at the party, however, the second one I tried it on, a good 8, well, that was it for the night!
A few days later, my Mom was admitted to the hospital. I had to do something to keep my spirits up, so being in a hospital full of cute nurses, I figured let's give it a try. Anyway, down the hallway, I saw one looking so I locked on, smiled and pulled off a split second after her, however, my peripheral vision caught her trying to lock back on, so I did, and smiled. Her face had just lit right up and immediately began flipping her hair. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from busting out laughing!! If only it was not an inopprotune time.
Just remember lock eyes, smile, and pull off a split second after she does. When you have it you will know right away!
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.