Smiling

[willtmail]

For a long while, I've been debating myself about whether or not to smile, do I smile too much or too little, etc. I've read here posts that suggest that smiling is the panacea. Recently, I've been looking people dead in the eye and not really smiling, but being friendly with my words. I find that works very well for me.

I'm not going to pretend there's some golden nugget of DJism here, but I will say that sometimes all it takes is some strong eye contact and a confident persona.

Thoughts?

(I think DYD suggests this, by the way.)

 

[Paradigm Artisan]

Smiling can be a great thing. It can show confidence, friendliness, and a genuine like about somebody. However, since smiling is such an honest signal it's hard to fake. (For me at least)

Dave D. says not to smile for newbies because if they had the confidence, friendliness, and genuine like for somebody, then they probably wouldn't of found DYD for the heck of it. Often wusses (AFC's,) only smile to suplicate and not to show the three qualities above. He wants you to steer away from that in order for you to find your game and then afterwards you can start smiling again if you want. For me, I find it very hard to smile to somebody if I am not in the mood or genuinely don't like them. They just see right through it and I usually don't get a strong response from them. If I do feel great and are happy to see them, even a totall stranger, they pick up on that energy and smiling can be a great way to break down barriers if you use it genuinely and don't force it.

You can still have a great interaction with somebody without smiling, of course. For instance when you have the ****y and funny mindset out in field.
Just acting friendly and confident is all it takes. There is no need to smile, although it can communicate a lot when done right.

But I would say, all in all, smile if you feel genuine about it. Don't smile if you're not. I think it's such an honest signal that people can tell when you're being confident or when you want to gain approval. You just have to find your medium. Hope it helps

 

[sanyo7878]

I would let smiles come naturally. I believe a lot of people can pick up on a fake smile. However, I think looking people in the eye using friendly words works wonders.

 

[willtmail]

I agree with what you guys are both saying. I had forgotten about the supplicating aspect of it. I think something else about smiling for me is that it tends to put me in the "friend" category because it makes me a "nice guy," and if I don't smile, there's a mystery about it. Of course, like you both said, it has to be natural and smiling works for some people. I think looking someone (guy/girl) in the eye and being confident keeps the mystery alive for me. I find that I'm not one of those natural smilers who has a smile plastered to their face all the time.