Smile- You never know until you try

[Seraph]

Ok first off, if you haven't read Rico's post about smiling (here ) then I suggest you do so now. It's what helped me realize something today.

What was it that I realized? Well, I learned that a simple smile can go a long way. I had to go get gas and go skim for a few job applications today, so I read up on that post before I left. I'm trying to relax more and be more open, so I thought a little eye contact and smiling would be a good place to start.

First I went to Barne's and Noble (bookstore). I made my way to customer service and (after eye contact) flashed a smile at the pretty brunette behind the counter. She smiled warmly back and I asked her if they were hiring. She said yes, gave me an application and I went on my way. When I was going back to my car I saw an middle aged asian man and smiled at him as well. He smiled back and I walked back to my car whistling.

"That was easy" I thought. Next stop was circuit city. Customer service was empty there so I walked towards the black guy near the entrance. Eye contact again, I flashed my pearly whites and got a smile in return.After saying what's up, I started talking to him about a job. Not only did he give me a heads up about an application, but he also told me which position I should apply for (have the best chance at getting). After our brief chat I smiled, and made my way to another bookstore in the mall across the street.

As I entered the bookstore I caught the girl at the counter's eye and smiled at her. She smiled back and smoothed out her shirt. Even though she was in mid-convo with one of her co-workers, as soon as she saw me smile she turned slightly towards me and waited for me to approach the counter. Never missing a beat, I walked right up to her with a smile and chatted to her about an application. In less than 3 minutes I had her, the male co-worker and another female co-worker smiling as I left the place. Just from making small talk and smiling. Hell, when the girl at the counter said " have a nice day " I could hear the smile in her voice. I don't know how, but as soon as she said it I turned my head and said " you too " and sure enough, she had a grin plastered on her face. Ah, I walked out of that store with a spring in my step. Last stop, gas station.

I'll make this last one short and sweet. All 3 ladies in the gas station that I smiled at smiled back (2 customers, 1 employee) and one of the ladies even broke out into a full grin when she saw me smiling at her. It feels really good when you can make someone's face light up like that, it makes you want to smile even more.

Originally posted by Rico
The reason the smile is so effective is because you reflect goodness to someone. When someone smiles at you, you feel good about yourself, and in turn about that person. It gives you an emotional boost. When you start letting this happiness flow through you (even if you aren't particularly in a good mood), you will see how other people positively respond to it and you will be affected by their response just as much as they were affected by your smile.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Well you don't realize how well and easy it is until you actually go out and give it a try. Not everyone will smile back at you (bad mood, general sour attitude, whatever) but at least in my situation, for every 1 person that didn't smile back ( or didn't even make eye contact, the ground must be a fascinating thing ) at least 5 people did smile back. So next time you are out in public, make sure to smile. It really does work wonders.

 

[Caveman]

 

[jakethasnake]

Awesome attitude seraph. Keep it up, buddy.

 

[Dirtheart]

I have mixed feelings about this.

I do the exact same thing and get a lot of smiles from the majority of people who look at me and seem to be able to brighten most people's mood.

However, I'm very cautious about giving off a friendly nice guy vibe since a lot of women seem to find more sex appeal in serious and smouldering guys with little expression in their face or voice.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
I have mixed feelings about this.

I do the exact same thing and get a lot of smiles from the majority of people who look at me and seem to be able to brighten most people's mood.

However, I'm very cautious about giving off a friendly nice guy vibe since a lot of women seem to find more sex appeal in serious and smouldering guys with little expression in their face or voice.

I know what you mean Dirtheart, I feel the same way.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
I have mixed feelings about this.

I do the exact same thing and get a lot of smiles from the majority of people who look at me and seem to be able to brighten most people's mood.

However, I'm very cautious about giving off a friendly nice guy vibe since a lot of women seem to find more sex appeal in serious and smouldering guys with little expression in their face or voice.

There's places where a smile is appropriate and places where it's better to just stay straight-faced. I've found the smile works better, though. Especially when you're looking at her. If you smile when you look at her, it says, "I like you and I'm not afraid to show it." THen you can return to the straight-face as you look away. If you frown or keep that straight face when you look at her, it shows that you either don't like her, are upset with her, or are scared to show your feelings.

Especially on first contact, you're not going to get a woman by scowling at her. Unless you're just a total stud. Despite what you see in Hollywood, no woman wants a man who's going to scowl all the time.

But hey, try it. Approach 20 women with a stern face and then 20 with a smile, see which works better.

 

[chicksrock]

Good work seraph ..keep it up... you inspire me dude..

 

[Zoso]

However, I'm very cautious about giving off a friendly nice guy vibe since a lot of women seem to find more sex appeal in serious and smouldering guys with little expression in their face or voice.

I was that guy through most of my adolescence and I never got any attention from women. I'm sure there are other factors too, but being serious and expressionless seems to be a good way to be overlooked or disliked. People would rather be around a happy person than a brooding person, because emotional states are contagious and being around happy people makes others feel good.

 

[Seraph]

Originally posted by Zoso
I was that guy through most of my adolescence and I never got any attention from women. I'm sure there are other factors too, but being serious and expressionless seems to be a good way to be overlooked or disliked. People would rather be around a happy person than a brooding person, because emotional states are contagious and being around happy people makes others feel good.

Exactly. I was really shy/introverted throughout most of my middleschool and highschool life, and a few friends had told me I always looked pissed off in the hallways. I'm not trying to say walk around everywhere with a sh!t-eating grin on your face, I'm saying that smiling at people works wonders.

After I smiled at a couple people I didn't continue to walk around with a big grin on my face, but I guess others knew I was in a good mood because I got more eye contact. Have you ever walked by someone or had someone walk by and you could sort of "know" they were pissed off or really happy? It's like that. You don't have to smile 24/7 to project a happy mood.

Lastly, I can understand if some of you are afraid of coming off like an AFC chump from smiling at women but if you make eye contact and smile you will appeal to them much more than if you look cold and bitter with a serious expression on your face. There is a difference between being a friendly AFC chump and being a carefree, happy man that isn't afraid of what others think about him. You'll know the difference if you go out into the world and start smiling at people.