slowly but surely, every day something is working

[md3sign]

I guess this is nothing new, but I thought I'd share anyway. I'm finding that even little out-of-the-way gestures, verbal or not, help.

I find I have success meeting girls at the gym. I feel very comfortable there because bodybuilding is a huge part of my life. Just yesterday I asked to work in on a station with a girl and after her/my sets chatted her up for a bit about her routine and what not. Got an email out of it on the premise of helping her develop a new program because she was complaining about her old one. About a month before that I did the same thing and actually scored a number, had a date, and then I came on too strong so it didn't work. But anyway.

Slowly but surely the shyness is wearing off. Talking to strangers (especially cute ones :rockon: ) is going better and better. Just this morning on the way to the elevator in the garage I noticed a pretty cute girl waiting. All I said was "how are you doing" as I stood next to her. She kinda smiled and looked away. Other people were also waiting/around but that's kind of irrelevant. Point is we get off the elevator and she's in front of me, she opens the door, stops, looks at me, and holds it for a good 5 seconds or so until I get there. I guess I'm still too much of a ***** to strike up a convo and walk with a stranger, but the point is even a small gesture can score some points. Someday ..

 

[Cod3r]

^ ^ Awesome bro, you've got the looks... just develop that attitude !

Also, in the gym try to stay away from 'crutch-related' conversations. Its easy to slip into them and they aren't attractive. Like if you're at a shopping store and you chat up the girl working their, talking about clothes and what's on sale ect... isn't gettin u anywhere...

When ur in the gym, don't talk about the gym... its like fight club


-Cod3r

 

[md3sign]

Well what do you suggest then? I mean, it seems kinda logical to chat about something relevant, and the only relevant thing is the girl in (very tight might add) gym clothes and the weights. This is also at a university and there are people EVERYWHERE, so I don't want to look like a douche obviously trying to pick a girl up like "hey how you doin wanna go out sometime".

Also being a BBer unlike some guys who go to the gym to pick up chicks with their posse (not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not what I do), I always go solo, I have headphones, and I concentrate 99% on lifting. If I can score a number in the process great and I always keep my eyes open, but it's not the reason I go.

In this conversation I did notice something - I have seen her a few times before in the free weight room where most girls dare not go, so I brought that up and we got a few laughs out of it. Anyway we'll see if it goes anywhere, if not I met a new friend. I try to tread lightly at the gym because I see these same girls day in and day out so if something works, great, if not I still want to stay on good friend terms.

 

[realsmoothie]

Dude, with that build you should be rolling in the women. I'm not sure why you lack confidence, but you have a good start when you point out little things like that girl going into the room few girls go. It's a start.

And BTW... you're not a "douche" for asking a girl to go and have coffee with you at a university. Look around... it's happening 24/7 out there. The girls WANT to have coffee (cough SEX cough) with you.

 

[md3sign]

Well this build is newly acquired, so to speak. My confidence has shot up a lot the past few months, especially after quitting video games and attempting to be more outgoing.

There are a couple girls who won't leave me alone, but it's been like this for a couple years now. It's just worse (better?) now. And there are a couple I turned down just because I didn't feel the click. But no, I'm not rolling in women. I'm still a bit shy and this whole "getting attention from girls" bit is sort of new to me, to be honest.

Throughout my childhood I moved a lot and the friends I made were temporary at best because of this. In high school I didn't really fit in. I was the skinny nerdy kid who hung out with all the other skinny nerdy kids at the "loser table". In my first years of college I kind of did the same thing. I refused to go out when invited and didn't really make much of an effort to get into groups or meet new people, so the shut-in-ness continued.

Because of this I don't have a lot of friends on campus, but I'm working on it. Most of the people I know are friends of ex's. I also live in a very conservative city which I hope to leave soon after I graduate in the summer and move out to a more liberal, larger population area.

I jumped from LTR to LTR throughout this time, but as you can guess being an AFC that didn't help me go out and discover myself and what not. I really didn't start making any changes until May of this year, so meeting even 1-2 new girls and going on a date or two a month is a big deal for me currently.

Currently I'm working full time (coop) and lifting 5x/week, which leaves me with little time on weekdays. I only drink about 2-3 times/month. I guess I'm not focusing on women as much as other people and my priorities revolve mainly around fitness at this time, but I would definitely like more action than I'm getting.

Not making excuses, just stating why I don't have all these girls all over me [yet]. For the record I am noticing a lot more girls talking about me and I do get a few bold come-ons on occassion (like "hey you're really sexy"), but I'm definitely an apprentice in the DJ world.