Slow seduction.... breaking up long long term relationships

[Don_Marko]

Other than moral bashing from guys who wouldn't understand or give me sht about posting on this forum. I was hoping to hear insights or common patterns that may occur when you are actively seducing a girl who's committed to somebody else. She's 21 at the moment but has been with the guy for 4 years, appears to be an exclusive type of relationship but I'm wondering if she ever cheated on him. The guy appears to be a symp./AFC, I felt from her that he's a burden sometimes, and he has proven to be a puss. as well, since he's well aware that I'm going after the fair lady yet doesn't have balls to do anything. This is all in a small - college environment... nontheless

I know she likes me by our interactions, and she's quite well aware that I like her a little too.... why? she's a good girl... beautiful, very intelligent as well as athletic, musical and so pathetically devoted to that little chump of a boyfriend. Ironically the fact that she didn't put out is attractive. Yet I know I can have her. This is quite different from normal pickups where you approach a woman get a number, get a date, get sex and if you break up she dissapears and you have your little list of next chick to call.... This is desire sorta like oneitiss in some way... not to be mistaken for the desire of wanting to be in a LTR but for her. And besides I see her at school few times every week so there's constant contact as well as a lot of tension.

Wisdom.. insights... tips?

*Just to clarify... it's not like she doesn't know i like her or that I haven't asked her out yet... She's attracted to me I'm quite sure, we have established a connection between us but not so much rapport... She's hesitant about being alone with me although in class / social setting I can have doggy-eyed looks from her constantly! So she's definitely afraid of what might happen if we end up in that situation... so trys her hardest to prevent it.

This also leads me to realize that the ability to get LOTS of chicks and ability to get THE girl differ somewhat.

 

[NewMan]

Sounds like your doing everything you need to do.

Patience.

It's inevitable that since you spend time in class together, you will eventually spend alone time.

Perhaps another approach is what you need?

Let her see you flirting/hanging with other women - whilst not giving her as much attention.

Do you kino?

Does she kino you?

How about organising a class outting? perhaps getting people together to got out for drinks after class??

All in all - it's going to be dependent on her. Since you've said she's not a going to just jump anyone'ss jock, it sounds like your going to have to be aptient to bag this broad.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

The Mature Man

A forum for DJs at least 25 years old to discuss problems, situations, and techniques UNIQUE to older and more mature men.

What part of this do you not understand, young one?

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by NewMan

Let her see you flirting/hanging with other women - whilst not giving her as much attention.

Do you kino?

Does she kino you?

How about organising a class outting? perhaps getting people together to got out for drinks after class??

Those are excellent suggestions... thank you. The first two is exacly what's lacking... kino and a little jealousy. If that doesn't work out then I'll simply next her (or be nexted... whatever). I feel like a gambler who lost so many times in a row that there's no other way to go but to win.

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by ER!C L!VE
The Mature Man

A forum for DJs at least 25 years old to discuss problems, situations, and techniques UNIQUE to older and more mature men.

What part of this do you not understand, young one?

Well the part that was scared of what replies I might get on the main board... Dude you got any useful suggestions or you just troll my posts

 

[WaterTiger]

This is MY opinion, others may differ....

Although the "flirting and hanging out with other women" thing works well in most situations, I do not think it will work well in this one.

She's in a stable relationship, and you said she's a "good" girl. If you give her the impression that you're a player who screws anything in a skirt, then it only strengthens her resolve to stay faithful with her Bf. Players only screw ho's then dump them, and she certainly doesn't want to be any part of that.

Your job is to outclass the present Bf. Show her you're bigger, better, faster, smarter, cuter and have more potential than the sorry putz she's with now. She'll come to you.

Just a little warning...When she does come to you, she's going to be on you like a tattoo. She's going to have that rebound thing going on, and be very clingy. You better make sure you REALLY want this chick before you go after her.

 

[Jay Gatsby]

I agree with WaterTiger. She's a good girl, who isn't likely to be susceptible to the challenge game. Rather, she's more likely looking for the bigger, better deal, albeit not aggressively at this time. It seems clear to me that she's looking for you to do something to prove that you are the bigger, better deal. Four years is a long time to be committed to someone, particularly from the ages of 17 to 21. Those are prime "discovery" or play years for most women, wherein they go to college, play around with numerous guys, and for those who are marriage-minded in college, find Mr. Right in their late-junior to senior years.

So what do you do? It depends on what you want. If you just want to have some fun with her, forget about it and move on to easier prey. She's too much work for the trouble, notwithstanding the sense of accomplishment you might get out of landing her. If you see her as potential wife material, then go for it. Her boyfriend has had 4 years to seal the deal, but hasn't even given her anything to hope for in that department. She's probably waiting for him to do something, but if you come along like Prince Charming, and give her clear signs that she's "one of a kind," that you've "never met anyone like her before," etc... she'll probably make the decision to drift apart from her boyfriend and into your arms.

There will be overlap between you and her boyfriend in terms of a relationship with her, and she'll be reluctant to sever ties until you can fully take his place. Such women are like monkeys, they don't let go of one branch until they have a firm grasp on the next.

P.S. This wasn't an appropriate question for the Mature Man forum, but in an act of altruism, I decided to post a reply. Next time, post it in the regular discussion forum. Most mature men aren't looking to break up relationships between 21-year old women and boyfriend's they've had since they were 17.

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by WaterTiger
If you give her the impression that you're a player who screws anything in a skirt, then it only strengthens her resolve to stay faithful with her Bf. Players only screw ho's then dump them, and she certainly doesn't want to be any part of that.

Your job is to outclass the present Bf. Show her you're bigger, better, faster, smarter, cuter and have more potential than the sorry putz she's with now. She'll come to you.

Thank you for that caution Watertiger... I also am all those things her bf is not.. .

It's waaaay to early to think 'wife' material but she'd be suitable for a LTR, I wouldn't give her exclusivity although I see potential in her.

Jay...Are you saying to to conciously work on giving her security and stability (cuz that runs a risk of you seeming like a lame AFC) or just simply keep on presenting the opportunity and wait for time before she makes the jump.... is that what you meant by her waiting for me to prove I'm the bigger better deal?

It's because of quality replies like this that I didn't put it up on main forum... a big amount of it still has to get laid and can't comment on situation involving such sustained relationships...

 

[disciple]

Just continue to let your DJ aura shine but don't chase her or go out of your way to get her. Look at my post on "Becoming a King" in the tips section and let her see that the weak prince she has now is nothing compared to a true king. Then wait to see if she chooses you.