monster squad
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2006
- Messages
- 186
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 48
I had a short fling with this girl, which ended with her telling me that she felt awkward about being with me, and that she wanted to stay friends (we knew each other before all this). I realize that this is all because I became clingy, and overly-emo during the time I spent with her. Oops.
The following months became hell, with me getting upset and even more fvcking emotional every time I hung out with her. Things would go great when we were together, she always seemed like she wanted to go do a little of the in-out, in-out, but I would end up ultimately going home alone. It's like she wanted to, but couldn't, so she'd pull it together and make an excuse by the end of the night. Then I'd start up with the texting, and e-mails, making a complete drunken mess of myself. A few times I even told her that I never wanted to talk to her again. Complete highschool bullshlt. But we'd always end up being friends again.
Anyway, the last time this all happened, I went about it a little more silently than usual, and she suddenly thought that I hated her or something. I really just wanted to distance myself from her as much as possible, as I know what she tends to do to me, but she mistook this for me being angry that we don't talk as much anymore.
She told me that no matter what, she still likes me, and blah blah blah, telling me that she doesn't like hanging out because she always ends up having to defend herself. I basically told her the same things: why I distance myself, how I feel about her, how it's hard to be "friends" with someone that I'm attracted to, ect....
Then things went silent for awhile. I figured that I finally scared her off for good. Possibly good, possibly bad. Whatever. As a test, I sent a funny text to her. She responded, had a little text convo., she said she'd talk to me later.
Friday night, I got a text from her asking what I was doing. I really wasn't sure, and I let her know that. She spent the next hour telling me where she was going, I guess to try and get me to go there. She started off subtle, and ended by telling me that most of my friends were already at the bar she was at. So I picked up another friend and headed there. I would have gone regardless.
First the bad:
Late into the night she brought up why things didn't work out between us. Again, she told me that it didn't feel right. I casually changed the subject.
She asked what I was doing the next day, and before I even answered she told me that she was going out of state to visit her ex. I didn't flinch at this the way I would have a few months ago.
She kinda flirted with some of my friends, but she's always done that, and it really didn't bother me.
The good (I guess):
We had a good time.
When she was over talking to her friends, I caught her looking at me every couple of seconds.
When we went somewhere else, she walked close to me, and not her friends.
I didn't end the night by sending her a text declaring my undying love for her, or any of my other old douchebag behaviour.
The next day she sent me a text saying that she thought she saw me being pulled over somewhere (I guess I have an evil twin, I wonder if he has a goattee...), and to tell me that she had fun.
So anyway, I'm just gonna try and keep things casual. I'm not about trying to hook up with her, but I wouldn't be against it. I do really like her though, and I still get a little nervous around her, but now I'm at least able to keep these feelings bottled up so I don't make a ass out of myself. I'm starting to feel more like my old self, the me that she spent months pursuing before I gave in.
I'm just unsure if it would be worth it to attempt furthering things past being friends, again. Using subtly, of course. Or should I just sit back, continue the "we're just friends" act, and watch some other guy hook up with her, and end up with myself hooking up with someone I don't want as much.
Like, is it too late for her to change her feelings, with all the mistakes I made in the past?
The following months became hell, with me getting upset and even more fvcking emotional every time I hung out with her. Things would go great when we were together, she always seemed like she wanted to go do a little of the in-out, in-out, but I would end up ultimately going home alone. It's like she wanted to, but couldn't, so she'd pull it together and make an excuse by the end of the night. Then I'd start up with the texting, and e-mails, making a complete drunken mess of myself. A few times I even told her that I never wanted to talk to her again. Complete highschool bullshlt. But we'd always end up being friends again.
Anyway, the last time this all happened, I went about it a little more silently than usual, and she suddenly thought that I hated her or something. I really just wanted to distance myself from her as much as possible, as I know what she tends to do to me, but she mistook this for me being angry that we don't talk as much anymore.
She told me that no matter what, she still likes me, and blah blah blah, telling me that she doesn't like hanging out because she always ends up having to defend herself. I basically told her the same things: why I distance myself, how I feel about her, how it's hard to be "friends" with someone that I'm attracted to, ect....
Then things went silent for awhile. I figured that I finally scared her off for good. Possibly good, possibly bad. Whatever. As a test, I sent a funny text to her. She responded, had a little text convo., she said she'd talk to me later.
Friday night, I got a text from her asking what I was doing. I really wasn't sure, and I let her know that. She spent the next hour telling me where she was going, I guess to try and get me to go there. She started off subtle, and ended by telling me that most of my friends were already at the bar she was at. So I picked up another friend and headed there. I would have gone regardless.
First the bad:
Late into the night she brought up why things didn't work out between us. Again, she told me that it didn't feel right. I casually changed the subject.
She asked what I was doing the next day, and before I even answered she told me that she was going out of state to visit her ex. I didn't flinch at this the way I would have a few months ago.
She kinda flirted with some of my friends, but she's always done that, and it really didn't bother me.
The good (I guess):
We had a good time.
When she was over talking to her friends, I caught her looking at me every couple of seconds.
When we went somewhere else, she walked close to me, and not her friends.
I didn't end the night by sending her a text declaring my undying love for her, or any of my other old douchebag behaviour.
The next day she sent me a text saying that she thought she saw me being pulled over somewhere (I guess I have an evil twin, I wonder if he has a goattee...), and to tell me that she had fun.
So anyway, I'm just gonna try and keep things casual. I'm not about trying to hook up with her, but I wouldn't be against it. I do really like her though, and I still get a little nervous around her, but now I'm at least able to keep these feelings bottled up so I don't make a ass out of myself. I'm starting to feel more like my old self, the me that she spent months pursuing before I gave in.
I'm just unsure if it would be worth it to attempt furthering things past being friends, again. Using subtly, of course. Or should I just sit back, continue the "we're just friends" act, and watch some other guy hook up with her, and end up with myself hooking up with someone I don't want as much.
Like, is it too late for her to change her feelings, with all the mistakes I made in the past?
