optimist prime
Banned
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Update?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Slick Tales
- Thread starter Slickster
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Its a shame the game never really ends slick.I was in a situation with a girl a while back.If I made her feel good her love was limitless.Only later I found out if someone else did it she would make a strong connection with them.This could happen after just meeting a guy for a night.She would just kind of have split levels where she would love me .And while I was away.Make those special connections with other guys
Not that Im saying this will happen to you.But proceed with caution.You all ready had the love blinders on and could still see the red flags.And thats saying something.Stick to the simple rule of dont put all your eggs in one basket.Nothing worse then tying your heart to a girl with issues
Not that Im saying this will happen to you.But proceed with caution.You all ready had the love blinders on and could still see the red flags.And thats saying something.Stick to the simple rule of dont put all your eggs in one basket.Nothing worse then tying your heart to a girl with issues
optimist prime
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Hit hard, what you just gave was a great example of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Fear of abandonment and the ability to have feelings of "love" with some new every week-just as long as it gives theme excitement and takes their mind off of their own problems.
optimist prime
Banned
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Update slick?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I hate to draw similarities with my long distance case, but there are some here
We were totally in love very quickly.
Somewhere along the way she gave up. My heart is still a bit broken about it.
She's going to call me Wed.
I still love her, but I got 8 numbers and emails this weekend. I have to move on.
We were totally in love very quickly.
Somewhere along the way she gave up. My heart is still a bit broken about it.
She's going to call me Wed.
I still love her, but I got 8 numbers and emails this weekend. I have to move on.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
It sounds like you got way to comfortable with this girl. You made assumptions - you opened up to her, even though you didn't know what she was about. There's a lesson in there - one where a DJ should never drop his guard, never open up, never show weakness to a woman they've known for only a couple of weeks.
I wonder WHY this woman had you throwing away a chick that obviously liked you - and definitely took care of business in teh sack (Corrie?) for her? what did she do? I don't see that she did anything for you - but in your mind I guess she did - I think this could be classified as a one-i-tis.
The question is, what are you going to do about it?
It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. She dangerous. Untrustwourthy to say the least. Cheeter material.
I don't know what good she does for you.
I wonder WHY this woman had you throwing away a chick that obviously liked you - and definitely took care of business in teh sack (Corrie?) for her? what did she do? I don't see that she did anything for you - but in your mind I guess she did - I think this could be classified as a one-i-tis.
The question is, what are you going to do about it?
It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. She dangerous. Untrustwourthy to say the least. Cheeter material.
I don't know what good she does for you.
Sad, Sad Sad!
Man this Bctch has played you and you bought into hook, line and sinker. I'm actually ashamed for you right now. But wheter you know it or not the writing was on the wall the whole time!....
1. The first one was about moving away, if someone is that interested in you (as she claimed to be) she would have been trying to move closer to you, not further way.
2. She was moving to be close to the guy she went out on a date with and subsenquently fuvked. If you look closer you will probably find that she communicating with him the whole time... mean-while keeping you strung on just in case.
3. not being excited to see you pulling her hand away from your hand
4. Not kissing you..
(3and 4 above happen for a variety of reasons like guilt, disintrest and also so that if the other person that they are more interested in see's the two of you together, she can always claim that you two or just friends.)
5. Whenever a women turns off her cell, that's always a bad sign. Lets, pretend for a moment that she was just on a "date" then why would she have to turn off her cell? If she had nothing to hide then she wouldn't have done so.
6. Having her roomate lie for her.
I really don't understand why you didn't wait a little while longer before you dumped corrin, at least she seemed to be a little more honest and mentally stable than rebbeca.
You said that you believed her when she said that nothing happened!
Why would you believe her when she has shown herself to be a decitful, little cvnt? She has fvcked another guy and probably sucked his dvck and you are willing to forgive her so qucikly, to me that like drinking another guys ***. You should have told her to step when she showed up at your doorstep!
Just face it man you ****ed this one up! The best you can do right now is let it go and forget about it, if you take her back she will continue to fvck this other guy, (nobody cries about just going out on a date).
Can you really see a future with a nut-job like this?
Stick a fork in him fellas...
He's done.
Sayno to lying, shceming, coniving, trifling, wh0res like this.
Sayno'
Man this Bctch has played you and you bought into hook, line and sinker. I'm actually ashamed for you right now. But wheter you know it or not the writing was on the wall the whole time!....
Man this is like reading a fantasy story. Its so amazing how many clues she gave you.
1. The first one was about moving away, if someone is that interested in you (as she claimed to be) she would have been trying to move closer to you, not further way.
2. She was moving to be close to the guy she went out on a date with and subsenquently fuvked. If you look closer you will probably find that she communicating with him the whole time... mean-while keeping you strung on just in case.
3. not being excited to see you pulling her hand away from your hand
4. Not kissing you..
(3and 4 above happen for a variety of reasons like guilt, disintrest and also so that if the other person that they are more interested in see's the two of you together, she can always claim that you two or just friends.)
5. Whenever a women turns off her cell, that's always a bad sign. Lets, pretend for a moment that she was just on a "date" then why would she have to turn off her cell? If she had nothing to hide then she wouldn't have done so.
6. Having her roomate lie for her.
I really don't understand why you didn't wait a little while longer before you dumped corrin, at least she seemed to be a little more honest and mentally stable than rebbeca.
You said that you believed her when she said that nothing happened!
Why would you believe her when she has shown herself to be a decitful, little cvnt? She has fvcked another guy and probably sucked his dvck and you are willing to forgive her so qucikly, to me that like drinking another guys ***. You should have told her to step when she showed up at your doorstep!
Just face it man you ****ed this one up! The best you can do right now is let it go and forget about it, if you take her back she will continue to fvck this other guy, (nobody cries about just going out on a date).
Can you really see a future with a nut-job like this?
Stick a fork in him fellas...
He's done.
Sayno to lying, shceming, coniving, trifling, wh0res like this.
Sayno'
drixsa
Master Don Juan
Sanyo,
I thought i had trust issues but you take cake...and the damn bakery!
Slick-as crazy as Sanyo seems to be, he does make some more solid points (some are a bit on the conspiracy theory side).
I thought i had trust issues but you take cake...and the damn bakery!
Slick-as crazy as Sanyo seems to be, he does make some more solid points (some are a bit on the conspiracy theory side).
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
WOW!!!
This thread has been stickied. Hmm....I'm not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.
Regardless my goal with this thread was to detail my experiences in hopes that others would learn from it. I'll continue to do so good, bad, and ugly.
First off thanks to Optimist Prime for the lengthy responses on Bordlerline Personality Disorder. After reading it I'm quite sure that Rebecca is fine. However there is some great information in there and I can think back to a few women from my past that may have had BPD. All good stuff to know.
I would like very much to respond to each of you who have taken the time to respond to this thread. My life at this time is quite busy though as I've recently moved into a new house and I'm doing renovations. I'll do my best to keep updating this thread.
Well, this past weekend Rebecca has come back to my city to try and make this whole thing work. We've had several meaningful conversations about our relationship. She has decided that even though we've only known each other for a short while she has never felt anything quite like this. She needs to see where things will go and realizes that the long distance thing will undoubtedly be the end of us. (Which is probably right.)
She has already found a part time job and is looking for other employment as I write this update. This all sounds good however she admits that she is here on a trial period. If things aren't going well and she is unhappy here then she may move back to the city. Which is a good idea because I don't want her around here if she is unhappy.
I know there are many of you reading this thread and thinking what the hell is Slick thinking!?! How could he be so blind to all these red flags? How could he break all the DJ rules? How could he dump a hottie like Corrine for a head case chick like Rebecca? How could he qualify a chick so quickly? How can he trust her? Etc, Etc, Etc...and on and on.....
Well those are all very valid points and things that I have thought about a great deal. I would like to assure all of you that I've been around the block many many times before. I'm not the typical clueless chump who's post you read everyday and shake your head. I am not some idiot with my head buried in the ground. My eyes are wide open and I am well aware of what is going on here.
Why am I breaking the "rules" and doing things this way?
To tell you the truth I'm not quite sure. All I know is that I've been with ALOT of women and have been in ALOT of relationships. LTR's and STR's. I know all the red flags. I know all the in's and out's of this game backwards and forwards.
For whatever reason when I look in Rebecca's eyes I see something I've never seen before.
I know most of us have come to Sosuave because we've been done wrong by a woman somewhere in the past. We all have trust issues. We all have our hackles up and walls around our hearts. We've all seen the terrible things women can do.
I know first hand all of those things. Many times over actually. You know what? I don't care if I get hurt or get burned. I've been closed off to feeling anything for so long I was beginning to wonder if I was capable of feeling anything at all.
Sure getting hurt sucks. But if you never open yourself up to get hurt then you never really open yourself up to feel much of anything do you? That's a pretty sad way to live.
My lunch hour is over so I must go. Sorry.
I'll do my best to write more later and touch upon many of the issues that you have all brought up. Red flags, etc.
Once again thank you for all your responses. They have been insightful and have had me thinking a great deal.
Its always good to know I have a group friends who really know their stuff backing me up and keeping me on the right track.
More to come.....
This thread has been stickied. Hmm....I'm not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.
Regardless my goal with this thread was to detail my experiences in hopes that others would learn from it. I'll continue to do so good, bad, and ugly.
First off thanks to Optimist Prime for the lengthy responses on Bordlerline Personality Disorder. After reading it I'm quite sure that Rebecca is fine. However there is some great information in there and I can think back to a few women from my past that may have had BPD. All good stuff to know.
I would like very much to respond to each of you who have taken the time to respond to this thread. My life at this time is quite busy though as I've recently moved into a new house and I'm doing renovations. I'll do my best to keep updating this thread.
Well, this past weekend Rebecca has come back to my city to try and make this whole thing work. We've had several meaningful conversations about our relationship. She has decided that even though we've only known each other for a short while she has never felt anything quite like this. She needs to see where things will go and realizes that the long distance thing will undoubtedly be the end of us. (Which is probably right.)
She has already found a part time job and is looking for other employment as I write this update. This all sounds good however she admits that she is here on a trial period. If things aren't going well and she is unhappy here then she may move back to the city. Which is a good idea because I don't want her around here if she is unhappy.
I know there are many of you reading this thread and thinking what the hell is Slick thinking!?! How could he be so blind to all these red flags? How could he break all the DJ rules? How could he dump a hottie like Corrine for a head case chick like Rebecca? How could he qualify a chick so quickly? How can he trust her? Etc, Etc, Etc...and on and on.....
Well those are all very valid points and things that I have thought about a great deal. I would like to assure all of you that I've been around the block many many times before. I'm not the typical clueless chump who's post you read everyday and shake your head. I am not some idiot with my head buried in the ground. My eyes are wide open and I am well aware of what is going on here.
Why am I breaking the "rules" and doing things this way?
To tell you the truth I'm not quite sure. All I know is that I've been with ALOT of women and have been in ALOT of relationships. LTR's and STR's. I know all the red flags. I know all the in's and out's of this game backwards and forwards.
For whatever reason when I look in Rebecca's eyes I see something I've never seen before.
I know most of us have come to Sosuave because we've been done wrong by a woman somewhere in the past. We all have trust issues. We all have our hackles up and walls around our hearts. We've all seen the terrible things women can do.
I know first hand all of those things. Many times over actually. You know what? I don't care if I get hurt or get burned. I've been closed off to feeling anything for so long I was beginning to wonder if I was capable of feeling anything at all.
Sure getting hurt sucks. But if you never open yourself up to get hurt then you never really open yourself up to feel much of anything do you? That's a pretty sad way to live.
My lunch hour is over so I must go. Sorry.
I'll do my best to write more later and touch upon many of the issues that you have all brought up. Red flags, etc.
Once again thank you for all your responses. They have been insightful and have had me thinking a great deal.
Its always good to know I have a group friends who really know their stuff backing me up and keeping me on the right track.
More to come.....
drixsa
Master Don Juan
your mailbox is full so,Originally posted by SAYNO
^
Drix you have a pm!
sanyo,
my comments are hardly insults. You are extremely pessimistic. If you cant see how ridiculous the last post was they you do have trust issues and you are a lil crazy.
If you are offened than too bad.
The real reason this site is suffering is becuase too many people post who should just be reading.
You are making insults, as you can see I just wished him good-luck.
To quote your own line of reasoning:
If you are trying to prove your point atleast include examples...
My mail box is not full, either you can critique the points that you think were in error or shut your piehole.
Sayno'
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
drixsa
Master Don Juan
Re: Sad, Sad Sad!
the bold parts are the extremely negative comments...not exaclty good luck.Originally posted by SAYNO
Man this Bctch has played you and you bought into hook, line and sinker. I'm actually ashamed for you right now. But wheter you know it or not the writing was on the wall the whole time!....
Man this is like reading a fantasy story. Its so amazing how many clues she gave you.
1. The first one was about moving away, if someone is that interested in you (as she claimed to be) she would have been trying to move closer to you, not further way.
2. She was moving to be close to the guy she went out on a date with and subsenquently fuvked. If you look closer you will probably find that she communicating with him the whole time... mean-while keeping you strung on just in case.
3. not being excited to see you pulling her hand away from your hand
4. Not kissing you..
(3and 4 above happen for a variety of reasons like guilt, disintrest and also so that if the other person that they are more interested in see's the two of you together, she can always claim that you two or just friends.)
5. Whenever a women turns off her cell, that's always a bad sign. Lets, pretend for a moment that she was just on a "date" then why would she have to turn off her cell? If she had nothing to hide then she wouldn't have done so.
6. Having her roomate lie for her.
I really don't understand why you didn't wait a little while longer before you dumped corrin, at least she seemed to be a little more honest and mentally stable than rebbeca.
You said that you believed her when she said that nothing happened!
Why would you believe her when she has shown herself to be a decitful, little cvnt? She has fvcked another guy and probably sucked his dvck and you are willing to forgive her so qucikly, to me that like drinking another guys ***. You should have told her to step when she showed up at your doorstep!
Just face it man you ****ed this one up! The best you can do right now is let it go and forget about it, if you take her back she will continue to fvck this other guy, (nobody cries about just going out on a date).
Can you really see a future with a nut-job like this?
Stick a fork in him fellas...
He's done.
Sayno to lying, shceming, coniving, trifling, wh0res like this.
Sayno'
hey no one wants to see slick get burnt.Im sure everyone means well in their posts.Any way ,Slick if your happy thats all that matters.Just watch those emotional highs and lows with her.Thats the way you get roped.Too much emotion in a relationship can be a firery doom.And can put the ball in her court.As we know women are the masters of emotion manipulating.But like you said you cant go through life without ever letting your guard down.All the best though you sound like a great guy.Learning alot out of your posts.keep us all updated
Andre_Steele
New Member
Slick
Slick man....First of all let me say this that you are a player and damn gud one at that...Kudos to you my friend
Heres my take on your situation -
The girls a late bloomer and I hate to say this but at this stage this one may eventually end up in a lot of pain for you. She would be great once she has "grown up" slightly.....she needs to go out there and make up for her lack of experience in the Mating game & I know you want to be the one to spoil her and all that but it's just gotta happen on its own... through her experiences... she has to walk the road... go through it all & if you would have found her at the end of that road 'then' it would have been great... You can keep her for a while but I doubt that she is ready for a LTR right now.... She may think otherwise but she is not....
I hope for your sake that I am wrong man...feel free to let me know if you disagree with my theory above...
But then what the hell man. From your post below...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" I know most of us have come to Sosuave because we've been done wrong by a woman somewhere in the past. We all have trust issues. We all have our hackles up and walls around our hearts. We've all seen the terrible things women can do.
I know first hand all of those things. Many times over actually. You know what? I don't care if I get hurt or get burned. I've been closed off to feeling anything for so long I was beginning to wonder if I was capable of feeling anything at all.
Sure getting hurt sucks. But if you never open yourself up to get hurt then you never really open yourself up to feel much of anything do you? That's a pretty sad way to live."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know the feeling man.... Just go with your heart but play with your mind...... Allow yourself to go with the flow but dont forget all the DJ principles.....
Worst case scenario - You get burned in the process... what the hell man .. I know it'll hurt but also I know that you will get up dust yourself off....
You take care buddy and do me a favor and let me know if her zodiac sign is a scorpio or pisces ...
Great post ... a must read for everyone...
Drixsa... you are a great guy man.....you can be my wingman anytime ....
This is my first post on this forum and I hope that someday I can achieve the kind of success that slick has achieved ....
Keep us posted Slick... I for one am rooting for you & waiting to hear more....
Slick man....First of all let me say this that you are a player and damn gud one at that...Kudos to you my friend
Heres my take on your situation -
The girls a late bloomer and I hate to say this but at this stage this one may eventually end up in a lot of pain for you. She would be great once she has "grown up" slightly.....she needs to go out there and make up for her lack of experience in the Mating game & I know you want to be the one to spoil her and all that but it's just gotta happen on its own... through her experiences... she has to walk the road... go through it all & if you would have found her at the end of that road 'then' it would have been great... You can keep her for a while but I doubt that she is ready for a LTR right now.... She may think otherwise but she is not....
I hope for your sake that I am wrong man...feel free to let me know if you disagree with my theory above...
But then what the hell man. From your post below...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" I know most of us have come to Sosuave because we've been done wrong by a woman somewhere in the past. We all have trust issues. We all have our hackles up and walls around our hearts. We've all seen the terrible things women can do.
I know first hand all of those things. Many times over actually. You know what? I don't care if I get hurt or get burned. I've been closed off to feeling anything for so long I was beginning to wonder if I was capable of feeling anything at all.
Sure getting hurt sucks. But if you never open yourself up to get hurt then you never really open yourself up to feel much of anything do you? That's a pretty sad way to live."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know the feeling man.... Just go with your heart but play with your mind...... Allow yourself to go with the flow but dont forget all the DJ principles.....
Worst case scenario - You get burned in the process... what the hell man .. I know it'll hurt but also I know that you will get up dust yourself off....
You take care buddy and do me a favor and let me know if her zodiac sign is a scorpio or pisces ...
Great post ... a must read for everyone...
Drixsa... you are a great guy man.....you can be my wingman anytime ....
This is my first post on this forum and I hope that someday I can achieve the kind of success that slick has achieved ....
Keep us posted Slick... I for one am rooting for you & waiting to hear more....
Hey Slick, it's been a while.
I read about your latest exploits and unfortunately like everyone else I'm concerned. I've been in these types of situations before and to tell you the truth it never ends well. All I can say is that if your going to continue to see this chick then make damn sure that you keep your game up and remember these words
"you must always be willing to walk away from a relationship, you were fine before you knew her, you'll be fine after"
Proceed with caution and keep us posted, I wish I could offer you some more positive help, but to be honest after my experiences with such women I don't think I would pursue this one further. Granted, you understand the situation much better than I do.
Squid
I read about your latest exploits and unfortunately like everyone else I'm concerned. I've been in these types of situations before and to tell you the truth it never ends well. All I can say is that if your going to continue to see this chick then make damn sure that you keep your game up and remember these words
"you must always be willing to walk away from a relationship, you were fine before you knew her, you'll be fine after"
Proceed with caution and keep us posted, I wish I could offer you some more positive help, but to be honest after my experiences with such women I don't think I would pursue this one further. Granted, you understand the situation much better than I do.
Squid
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.