"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Slap me in my face

ATP

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Im a ****ing disgrace to men on this planet. In one single day I have gone from a self confident man to a supplicanting fool. This is a FR and a post of what not to do.

I met a girl and started to flirt with her. She was "THE" girl so to speak, everything was right from body to intelligence and she was interested. So what do I do, I start to think about her even though tell myself its a bad idea and in a matter of a day I am a nervous wreak. I thought I could handle it but obviously I couldnt.

I ask her out the next day. My posture is wierd, Im talking in a light voice and stumbling over my own words. I then text her the same day, then call her the next. Smart move right? I get the "my battery is almost dead" line after I ask to meet her "sometime".

I realized my mistake here and have had radio silence ever since in hope of smoothing over my bad impression. Gonna give it a go on sunday to ask her to get together. But then I wont ask to meet up "sometime".

It is amazing how I could turn from confident to such a pathetic sight in one single day. I want you all to slap me in my face for being so ****ing stupid. Under NO circumstance start to think about women you have just met. Dont let them into your mind, occupy yourself with other things instead.

Ill update on sunday to say how it went.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
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Don't be so hard on yourself, man. It's a learning process that most of us are on here and it's obvious you know where you went wrong, so you are clearly able to learn and make adjustments next time.

I'm the slowest learner on the planet when it comes to this stuff (look at my age) but I'm determined to keep on plugging along with my baby steps without beating myself to a bloody pulp.

Let us know how it goes Sunday but you need to get into "outcome independence" mode.
 

Myrrdin

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dude, read my thread. You'll feel a lot better. :))
 

ken chang

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Myrrdin said:
dude, read my thread. You'll feel a lot better. :))
Haha! It's true. Read his thread. It WILL make you feel a lot better.

Good luck to you. Let us know what happens, maybe I'll learn something.

Oh and..SLAP!
 

Scars

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I would do some damage control and go with no contact for now.

But that's just me.

I'd wait until SHE contacts you. She will eventually. Especially if things were going good, and you just suddenly disappeared.

If she asks, just blame that nervousness on having a bad day. The contact will raise her IL a bit, then you gotta come in strong and make a better impression then you did last time.

During this time, treat it with the mindset of a "next". You don't have to necessarily next her, but in your mind think of it that way. It will give you time to put your head on back straight, and possibly even get over this little oneitis hump you have slowly developed. Come back around with the mindset of what-ever-happens-happens, it's not all that important to you.

-Scars
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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joe henny

Senior Don Juan
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I just don't understand how you guys crush on a girl you've just met it blows my mind. What is it?
 
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