Size up this situation.

[BrockLee74]

I work in a club on Friday's and Saturday's. We have Go-Go dancers. A hot new girl was sent in by the agency in December. I admit, I had a crush on her, but I don't screw around with employees. The others do that and it lead to drama, and one has to go.

This woman is very to herself. She talks to other dancers, to me and the DJ beside me because we all work together in the same general space. Otherwise, she is very much a loner.

One night a woman fell down the escalator and got knocked out. Because I was right there I had to help her. We spoke about it and the next night she came up and started talking to me about it again. I was in a chair, she was kneeling before me, hand on my knee. I am not messing with employees, so I didn't touch her back.

Later in the night a drunk woman came up behind me and started kissing my ear. I saw this dancer looking down at us. Before she left she came up and kissed me on the cheek.

The next weekend she seemed to be avoiding me. I assumed she felt like she may have went too far with the flirting and felt weird. I just did my job. After that we had moments of eye contact and smiles.

Weekend before last, Friday actually I saw her picking up water bottles as she was about to leave. I told her I would do it and she knelt in front of me yet again, hand on knee, solid eye contact. She said "I have to go, but you will be here tomorrow, right?" I said "No as I was taking the night off. She got kind of tongue tied and asks "Why not"? I asked "Why does it matter?" Still tongue toed she says "Because you guys rock". I assume she meant the DJ as well, though I never said he would not be there. I still didn't touch her.

Last weekend. Friday night she was scarce. Saturday I got goofing around for funny pics to go on the social media sites. I was the center of attention and when everyone cleared away, she came up to me. She says "I need a hug" so I gave her one, asked the problem. She says "I am old. All these kids and here I am tired and old." So I said some nice things which she countered with "bad lighting makes her appear better". Now she puts a hand on each knee and we talk for maybe 20 minutes. Very few breaks in eye contact. I would say several stretches lasted a minute or more.She paid me a compliment. She had to leave and says "Lets continue this on Friday".

I don't know. I may go against my policy. I could feasibly replace her if things went south and ugly. But I get this gut feeling she is just looking for attention. And since she has broken the ice with me, I get that attention. What is the next move if I decide to give it a try? It seems like she is into me being indifferent.

 

[Sandow]

Sounds very close to the friend-zone. If she genuinely liked you, I don't think she would tell you she feels old and want to talk about it for 20 minutes. That's what girlfriends are for.

Always go with your gut feeling. If your questioning whether she likes your or not, then chances are she doesn't. YOU KNOW when a girl likes you.

There is a fine line between a girl being nice to you (like a friend) and flirting. A lot of guys get these mixed messages, only to find out she' s just being nice and then they flip their lid.

I would suggest being indifferent like you said. Don't always give her your time when she wants attention. Be somewhat of a d!ck, then be nice (push/pull). I would treat this one like you have nothing to lose...if you fail then she's still a friend or not. either way, no loss.

btw from your story, it sounds like she is super needy for a friend...

 

[BrockLee74]

To be clear, it was more like a minute talking about her feeling old, the rest was mainly where we were from and how we ended up in the area.

But I do think you are right. I have enough friends. No interest in "buddies".