situtation at a party today

[backbreaker]

I had some people over my house today for the preakness and the undercard races, about 15 of us in all give or take.

This had been brewing for a while and I had heard rumors, but one of the people who is somewhat of an older woman, late 30's, not attractive, this doesn't even have anything to do with sex, had basically been conning people out of money, telling people that her dog needs to go to the vet and **** like that and she would get money from people in her inner circle and not pay it back. I gave her a few hundred (knowing good and damn well i was not going to get it back mind you) about a year ago.

so hell broke lose, she took, or borrowed like 200 from someone to pick her dog up from the vet and never paid it back and this person, all of us here, decides to just let the cat out of the bag. AFter a few drinks, just gets up and lets everyone know not to borrow money from this person, and mind you , there were a few people there that she had done this to.



situations like this give you a real good insight on human nature. First of all, everyone there acted like they were just ****ing perfect citizens. Oh I **** people besides my wife, I snort coke, I smoke weed, I am a drunk, I don't ever see my kid, I don't even ****ing know my kids, I lie cheat, and steal, i talk about people behind their backs, but YOU mister.. YOU ARE EVIL!!!


First, let mef inish the story. I did not ivite people over my house to have a confrentation and I told them that as long as everyone was in my house they would shut the **** up about it, or get the **** out. People will not be invited to my house to go through that ****, rather they did it or not. That's just not right.


Some of them could not leave well enough alone, and were asked to leave by me. Then they assumed I was taking sides for her. I don't take sides and if I did, **** you, it's my house. if you don't like it leave.

Anyway, the woman knew she had ****ed up. She knew she had ****ed up and started crying and said she would try her best to pay everyone back, damnit that was good enough for me. people **** up. i ****ed up, everyone ****s up.

this whole holier than thou attitude of some people, who are so quick to judge people in hard times.. (nothing, is EVER black or white.. this comes from life experiences.. and in this case, it wasn't that black or white either.. she really just has a hard time managing money, she did not intent to defraud anyone, she just can't juggle money) act like they don't ever do antyhing wrong

while I agree it was wrong and screwd up, it really is funny for instance, how people use religion when they want to use it, then throw it out the window when it doesn't jsutify their needs. Jesus said let ye who has not sinned caste the first stone...but that is conveniently forgotten when it's time to dog someone else who has made mistakes.

I'm not saying I am happy with the woman, it's a pretty screwed up situtation. But as i sat there the whole idea really gave me just a very clear expiation on just how dog eat dog life and society is. People, really, do not give a **** about you. they really don't.

]The quicker a person can accept this and start to man for themselves and stop expecting the best out of people all the times, the better off they will be from a practical sense.

Most people have no real convictions. They stand up for things when it's in their best interest to stand up for them. They help you out when it's in their best long term interest to help yo out, they chastise you when everyone else does it. I stood there defending a woman not becuase I didn't believe that she didn't do it, or that it was ****ed up, but becuase everyone deserves a second chance. the woman said she was going to start people people back what the **** else do you want? cookies? a hand written song?

people will easily step on you, to make themselves feel better about themselves if that is what it takes.

out of 15 people there, 12 of them were women..everyone involved in this ordeal was a woman.

there is a good saying, you want to see the character of someone, see how they treat someone who can do nothing for them. Well I just saw the character of every woman in the room and most of them ****ing sucked. there were a few who did not join in the dance, my fiancee and 2 other women, one of them who even had some good dealings with her stood up for her. I did not go that far but what really got me is I think i am the one that realized this had nothing to do with money.. it's ****ing a few hundred bucks. this had to do with people getting off on making themselves feel morally superior at someone Else's expense.

This is how the world operates for the most part.

 

[Trader]

Anyway, the woman knew she had ****ed up. She knew she had ****ed up and started crying and said she would try her best to pay everyone back, damnit that was good enough for me. people **** up. i ****ed up, everyone ****s up.

this whole holier than thou attitude of some people, who are so quick to judge people in hard times.. (nothing, is EVER black or white.. this comes from life experiences.. and in this case, it wasn't that black or white either.. she really just has a hard time managing money, she did not intent to defraud anyone, she just can't juggle money) act like they don't ever do antyhing wrong

while I agree it was wrong and screwd up, it really is funny for instance, how people use religion when they want to use it, then throw it out the window when it doesn't jsutify their needs. Jesus said let ye who has not sinned caste the first stone...but that is conveniently forgotten when it's time to dog someone else who has made mistakes.

Be careful when you interpret that passage. When Jesus is saying that you should not *cast* the first stone, he is saying that you should not take matters in your own hands and punish, or in that case stone the girl. Only the completely righteous can intiate the *stoning* or punishment, and only God is righteous.

However, you are allowed to, and you *ought* to call a spade a spade. There is nothing wrong with other people calling the woman out about not paying back the money.

I think what you are annoyed with is their lack of tact in doing so, which just created a foul mood at your place.

 

[backbreaker]

the great thing about the bible trader is that everyone can read it differently. i dont' see it that way. there is no TRUE one way to view the bible, if there were there would not be so many religious denominations.

but yeah, pretty much.



And you had to be there.. the woman was freaking sobbing, she apologized, and wanted to make it right.

I have no problem with people saying hey we are all here,we need to discuss something,bring it to the floor front, address it in a constructive manner.

when she said she wanted to make it right, she said hey, we are here, I will talk to you guys later today, but we will work something out. at THAT point it should have all been done. but no. for like 30 mintues you had these *****es saying "i just don't see how someone could do **** like that it takes a very ****ed up person to do this and that" and just on and on and on and at that point i was like ***** who the **** are you to talk?!

one woman there has known my fiancee for like 5 years now, i think i even made a post about this.. had sent me a few texts.. that really cross the line. and there is no doubt in my mind if i came on to her she'd be down. so it's okay to **** your friends fiancee, but now borrowing 200 bucks and not paying it back well.. that's just a one way ticket to hell right there.

 

[Trader]

the great thing about the bible trader is that everyone can read it differently. i dont' see it that way. there is no TRUE one way to view the bible, if there were there would not be so many religious denominations.

but yeah, pretty much.



And you had to be there.. the woman was freaking sobbing, she apologized, and wanted to make it right.

I have no problem with people saying hey we are all here,we need to discuss something,bring it to the floor front, address it in a constructive manner.

when she said she wanted to make it right, she said hey, we are here, I will talk to you guys later today, but we will work something out. at THAT point it should have all been done. but no. for like 30 mintues you had these *****es saying "i just don't see how someone could do **** like that it takes a very ****ed up person to do this and that" and just on and on and on and at that point i was like ***** who the **** are you to talk?!

one woman there has known my fiancee for like 5 years now, i think i even made a post about this.. had sent me a few texts.. that really cross the line. and there is no doubt in my mind if i came on to her she'd be down. so it's okay to **** your friends fiancee, but now borrowing 200 bucks and not paying it back well.. that's just a one way ticket to hell right there.

Obviously I can imagine that this chastising pretty much ruined the Preakness party you were having

out of 15 people there, 12 of them were women..everyone involved in this ordeal was a woman.

What you find annoying is the fact that these girls lack magnanimity - which is a masculine trait.

A magnanimous man is a noble man, he does not get engrossed in petty squabbles, he is too classy for that. Yes he defends his rights - he sternly demands fair repayment of his money, but he will not stoop down to the level of repeated verbal chastisement for the sake of emotional vomitting.

But then again, do you really expect girls to display magnanimity? Girls are extremely petty, they will splinter a friendship over the tiniest thing.

In the end, boys will be boys, and girls will be girls.

 

[jophil28]

Be careful when you interpret that passage. When Jesus is saying that you should not *cast* the first stone, he is saying that you should not take matters in your own hands and punish, or in that case stone the girl. Only the completely righteous can intiate the *stoning* or punishment, and only God is righteous.

Yes, the situation referred to by Trader involved a woman who was about to be stoned to death. Jesus came upon a crowd of vigilantes who were about to kill a woman ( by stoning) for the 'crime' of fornication.
That scripture has often been hijacked to suggest that Jesus told us that nobody has the right to criticize others. Not so. In fact Jesus sometimes preached that we should "rebuke" others who have sinned against us.
Luke 17, 3 and 4.

 

[zekko]

And that's why I don't like to throw parties at my house. I'll do it on special occassions, but generally, no.

 

[hansol]

Rule #1: Never lend money to friends.

$20 is fine. Buying a coffee for a friend because they forgot their wallet is fine. But lending a sizeable sum is never a good idea. Firstly, ask yourself why she needs the money in the first place? Because she sucks with finance. Why would you give your own money to someone who can't sort her own life out. Secondly, when you do loan money, **** like this happens.

Why lose a good friend over $200? Not worth it.

Don't loan money to friends. Ever.

 

[DJDamage]

Rule #1: Never lend money to friends.

$20 is fine. Buying a coffee for a friend because they forgot their wallet is fine. But lending a sizeable sum is never a good idea. Firstly, ask yourself why she needs the money in the first place? Because she sucks with finance. Why would you give your own money to someone who can't sort her own life out. Secondly, when you do loan money, **** like this happens.

Why lose a good friend over $200? Not worth it.

Don't loan money to friends. Ever.

I agree, but it comes down to what sort of a friend he is and the amount of money you should give that is not going to hurt you in the short or long terms.

I mean if its a really good friend and he for example lost his job and now he is late on payments and you could loan him the money without suffering too as a result then its up to you. Sometimes a loan to a good friend shouldn't be a loan but rather a gift and if you know your friend is a genuine good person then just give him some and forget about it. If they end up standing on their two feet they will eventually pay you back without you asking and if they don't then its up to you to decide if you want to keep them as a friend.

Only part with your money if its a worthy cause. A few hundred dollars for a working man is not a big deal.

 

[backbreaker]

I could care less about the money, I knew I wasn't gonna get it back. I don't jsut freely give out money and I cut threw her BS when she was spewing it, but I know enough about people to know that just because I knew she was lying, doesn't mean she didn't really need the money, she was probably just too ashamed to say for what. I've been there personally.

Very few people will come out and tell you they are having trouble buying food, or they are really behind on their rent or their lights are about to get cut off. A dog in the vet is a very convenient, important but not IMPORTANT reason to give someone money if that makes sense.

 

[hansol]

Oh I agree, sometimes it depends on the circumstances. But certainly, a gift is a gift, and there is nothing wrong with that.

A "loan", and all the nonsense that comes with it, is NOT EVER advisable between friends. Never never ever.

 

[DanelMadr]

Yep. And thats why Jesus was so damned pissed off with people.

So much bad blood in this world. And it is not so hard to get rid of the bad blood. Yeah it fvcking hurts to see the true yourself and admitting you are screwed and you need to change. But still it is the easiest way to do...you don't need anything special to do that. But still no one wants to hear it and if you keep telling them, they fvcking crucify you.

I am well aware that majority of people are real cvnts. Either not helping or being happy when you are down or even actively backstabbing or kicking you when you lie down passed out.

What got me was the fact that people don't want to hear they can be happy right now. They fvcking enjoy being miserable, frustrated, scared and therefore aggressive, hating, lying, poisonous cvnts.

I've met a girl who told me she believes in angels. She was quite uneasy about it, because you can end up in sanitarium for these kind of thoughts. Well, I told her I believe in angels too. But tried to explain to her that they are real people. Normal people like you and me but in right circumstances they do something totally angel-like. Like when my friend passed out in a bar after some motherfvcker gave her a roofie. She woke up in her own bed. Totally unharmed. Her parents told her some two men brought her home by car last night and left.
Or when you hear a story of some poor loser guy going on a street at night seeing a building in flames and bam he goes inside bringing crying baby out, giving it to the ER and he is gone.

I never cry, man. From my 10 years and haven't shed a tear. But hearing this stories I cry like a b!tch

Well, hope is still there, I guess. People are cvnts but thats why we are alone in this world. More of a reason to have kids and rise them well to balance the cvnts versus rest 8:2 ratio.

 

[Crow]

Oh I agree, sometimes it depends on the circumstances. But certainly, a gift is a gift, and there is nothing wrong with that.

A "loan", and all the nonsense that comes with it, is NOT EVER advisable between friends. Never never ever.

I loaned a childhood friend a good deal of money to pay his rent and living expenses about a year ago when business was in a death spiral here. He's always been unreliable, flakey and makes awful decisions. My choice was that he would get the money as a loan even though the chances of repayment were very low. He was my friend and offering the money without conditions might hurt his ego more than "loaning" it to him without expecting it back and then letting him flake out and think I forgot. At the time, I could afford to gift it and I never want those close to me to be suffering, so this was an easy way to lighten someone else's load.

 

[hansol]

... My choice was that he would get the money as a loan even though the chances of repayment were very low.... I could afford to gift it .

Exactly. Essentially a gift, NOT a loan. A loan is made with the intentions of getting the money back. And it's that expectation that kills things.

I'm not saying don't help a friend out. As Men we should be able to step up and help people when they are in a bind. But DON'T make loans to friends with the expectation of ever getting the money back. Make sure you can afford to LOSE that money, because that's what is going to happen.

It's just good business is all. And very few people have the stomach/fortitude to deal with the "unique" circumstances that come about when your super good friend defaults, and something comes up where you need the money, and your friend starts ignoring your phonecalls....

I've seen it before, and it is not pretty. It is as bad as getting married to a Goldigger/BPD/Bush Pig woman. Just don't do it!