situation with this one girl i used to study with

[blueline]

I hate being another guy making a thread about a not-so-unique situation, but I figure why the hell not. So, there's this girl (let's call her Jamie) that I was totally oneitising over whom I was too chicken**** to make a move on two years ago. At that point, I had literally no experience with women, so I had no idea what I was doing. Now I've gotten a few SNL's and had a ****ty summer girlfriend. Anyways, I ran into Jamie a few days ago and closed the number within two minutes. I don't feel like I started in the most seductive frame, but my appearance is COMPLETELY different from what it was when she used to study with me and she definitely noticed this.

Anyways, I send her this text two days after grabbing her number:

Me: Ay! It was great running into you the other day =). Wanna grab a drink at [bar tons of grad students go to] tomorrow? -blueline

Her (several hours later): Hey blueline, sorry i didn't txt you back. i've been pretty busy. we should plan to catch up next week.

Me (a couple days later; just an hour ago): sure. i'm free after 5 on most days. i actually lost my phone this weekend, so my bad on being so slow getting back to you.

TYPICALLY, I will be decisive with the date to meet on, but this time I'm sensing a little bit of disinterest coming from her given how she didn't come out this Saturday, so I'm putting the ball in her court to give me a date to meet on. Was this a good idea?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Why didn't you "suggest", we don't ask, to get together right before you got the number? You could have gauged her interest and know wether to waste yoru time or not. Now you have to resort to texting back and forth with somebody you suspect having minimal interest.

After not making your move in person, Why didn't you call her up and invite her to get together. "Ay, let's get together to catch up, etc.", as opposed to asking her, "Do you want to...?"

Also, no explanations needed regarding why you didn't respond sooner. She had no good explanations as to why she took long to respond to you. So far she holds the stronger frame. You are busy, it goes without saying, so no need to explain and apologize for that.

This one looks like a lost cause, so make sure next time, with the next one, you don't make those elementary mistakes. Anytime you "number close", make sure you are doing it for a purpose. She knows why you want the numbrer, and is at the very least mildly interested, so make your move on the spot, even before you get the number. It is not efficient nor often effective to get the number, text back and forth, call, wait, play games, over-analyze wether she's interested, post on SS, etc. Just make your move, set something up, watch and gauge her interest, etc.

 

[blueline]

Gotcha. I kind of get a weird vibe from this girl anyways, all I wanna do is bang her and move forward if it's at all possible. Whatever, there was this girl looking me up and down in one of my classes the other day, I'll approach her tomorrow.

 

[Real Talk]

Couple things I see with this.

1- It was through text, which should be saved for after you develop a personal rapport and you know that she enjoys talking to you to the point where it is one of the brighter points of her day. Texting is definitely not the way to go to assert yourself into her mind. It's fine as a convenience if you ALREADY have rapport with her.

2- "Putting the ball in her court" as you put it, is risky. Think about it this way: you sent her two texts, and already she's given the task of seeing where she's free, and getting back to you about it and more or less making herself the one asking you out? Not too many women are going to go for that. Roughly 100% of women like following a man who takes the lead. That means you saying "I'm doing *this* on thursday night. you should come." If she declines, or says shes unavailable, 90% of the time she's uninterested and you saved a bunch of time. Waiting for her to get back to you, given the time frame you've established with your response times, just drags things out longer than they need to be.

3- Waiting X-days to respond. I think the single most misunderstood concept used around here. If your phone was really broken thats one thing, but I've gotten way better responses being timely about my texts/calls back. If you went sarging and got their number one night, waiting a few days is the way to go. But if they called/texted you first? You should respond, and it seems more like you're unorganized and than someone "who has a lot going on" or whatever. I'm a busy dude, but i respond to every text i want when i see it. They'll just get the notion that you're hard to reach (we all have friends like that don't we?). What do you feel about a business if they took days to respond to every inquiry you have? Same principle imo

All in all, I would be surprised if she got back to you at all, but if she does go from there. I wouldn't follow up with another text or call. At the very least though you aren't wasting your time if she isn't interested. Good luck man

 

[Szyzzlin]

tough to say what the situation is... I'd send her a text in about a week and see what's up.

Also, like Gangsta said... there's no need to apologize or explain your situation. The "I'm free after 5 most days" screams neediness. Remember... YOU'RE A MAN. We don't give a sh*t what women think about us and we don't apologize for our actions.

Her being "Busy" could mean a bunch of things... but it typically means lack of interest.

Sometimes I've been overwhelmed by working long hours... but if a girl was a 10 and really wanted to hang-out with me... I'm sure I could find time