Back ground
-met a girl while I was out of the country. She was there for the same reason (we both compete). I didn't really notice her, one of the guys with us (younger bother of someone, 19, almost 20 at the time) kept hitting on her but she constantly rebuffed him.
-For the 6 or so days before we hooked up, I commented on her being tubby (we had weight classes to be in and she was like 2kg over...I was about 2-3 as well), so some C&F.
-We hooked up on the sat night because the younger guy basically was playing about with her in the hotel room and hit her hard with a pillow (there was me, her and 4 others in there at the time). I let her lie in my bed, people worked their way out of the room until it was just me and her under the top cover.
- I didn't hit on her, I went away for other reasons, so getting in on would have been a distraction. Basically she went to bed (like 4 am) and I was effectively kicked out of my room by the guys who told me to go get her (gits
). She let me into her room cause she had a spare bed and one thing led to another and I ended up staying in her bed, but she played the good girl so I didn't get into the pants, but groping and non groin stroking ensued.
We hit it off and I stayed in her room for the res[/I]t of the trip (another 4 days) . We didn't bang until I was eliminated as was she and by that time we had spent 3 days in the same room, me pleasuring her but not the other way around. We were both quite frustrated by this point and in the end we stopped, not because of me busting, but because she was saw (it may have been my first time....)
We worked out we lived 50 miles away, so when we got back we swapped phone numbers and I texted her that night. 3 days later she cmae to visit me and that was the situation for 6 weeks.
In this time I was due to visit her the 2nd or 3rd weekend after we got back, but I had to bail at the last minute due to family coming over. She came over the following day and I thought nothing of it (her family had apparently been informed I was coming and were a bit annoyed I pulled out at the last minute).
Everything was going fine until last weekend. I went to see a friend who is going away to the US for a Phd and I thought better then taking her along, until the lats minute when I decided I wouldn't mind her coming as well. She couldn't make it due to going with a friends do (a guy, who has a gf...she took a girlie friend as well...it was a knights and wenches thing...told me not to worry.....yes I am overloading on the info).
I sent her a few texts and it was ok till the sunday when I didn't hear anything from her (we kinda arranged that when I got back she would come over if she was free). I got a text monday night (6 days ago) saying sorry for not contacting me or coming round, she had a nightmare day with her ex.
Now, this ex was her first everything. He is turning 40 now, shes 24, 25 soon and had been with him for 5 years. Lived together for a year and a half and it all went pear shaped (shes living at home with her family, her clothes are in bin liner bags..which was a warning signal for me). He was basically a emotional parasite, made her feel bad (shes a bit insecure, but works as a model on the side) and they don't speak anymore (she did go back to him because he threatened to off himself if she didn't go back to him, when she told me this I basically said if anyone said that to me I would say 'here are the razors...do you want a hand)...didn't take that well, but such a weak display is pathetic. SHe said but if you loved someone blah blah blah.
Things were turning hectic for her and the week before she warned me that she was looking at working on the weekends for extra money (only time we saw each other). I jokingly at the time text 'well best we say goodbye now, hey it was fun while it lasted'...she got defensive, told me not to be like that and I explained it away as my dry sense of humour. So basically after a few texts I rang her, we talked, everything fine, I hung up and said I would miss her (havign said it would be almost a month before I would see her again). She said she would miss me too but the in the span of 2 texts she said it would be best if we ended it now because at the moment she was too busy. I sent her a text basically saying we can either put it on pause till we can sort our (meaning her) lives out, or just call it quites now. She left it for the night and said she thought it would be best if we just ended it now and tha it wasn't going to work.
Now, I was insecure and wondered what could have happened. If it was me lack of effort or her ex....yeah, I basically was a puss and sent her a text asking if it was either of those things and she said that she felt she was the one makign all the effort and other things made it awkward for her too (I'm assuming lack of money, a rematch coming up and the ex)
Now, I'm not sure if my lack of effort, me being a bit too C&F when she was around (but being more physical, touchy feely to make up for it...I'm a physical person) had something to do with it, or if like she kept saying, it was just bad timing (she said this numourous times and kept using the phrasing 'at the mo').
She had just split from her ex 3 1/2 months before we hooked her, so maybe......said she needed to find herself or something
I'm not holding out hopes, I know we're done (she wants to be friends and def stay in contact, but I think thats just a female thing of not being seen as the bad one...I'm trying to not fool myself into thinking that at the moment and staying in contact as friends is a way back in later...although I may have suggested I would like to get back with her when her life is sorted). I did attempt to make a effort and left a voice message (she didn't answer) saying I understood how she felt. She left me a text and I have deleted all her msg's and phone number since.
Throughout I didn't change who I was, kept being me and didn't get too attached. I had a feeling the distance would get to be a issue in the end. But I still began to fall for her and it was a sense of wanting it back when I thought I was losing it
Sorry, more of a release there.
My main question is this: when you start dating someone and you begin to fall hard, how much effort do you make to keep it going if you think its worth it
-met a girl while I was out of the country. She was there for the same reason (we both compete). I didn't really notice her, one of the guys with us (younger bother of someone, 19, almost 20 at the time) kept hitting on her but she constantly rebuffed him.
-For the 6 or so days before we hooked up, I commented on her being tubby (we had weight classes to be in and she was like 2kg over...I was about 2-3 as well), so some C&F.
-We hooked up on the sat night because the younger guy basically was playing about with her in the hotel room and hit her hard with a pillow (there was me, her and 4 others in there at the time). I let her lie in my bed, people worked their way out of the room until it was just me and her under the top cover.
- I didn't hit on her, I went away for other reasons, so getting in on would have been a distraction. Basically she went to bed (like 4 am) and I was effectively kicked out of my room by the guys who told me to go get her (gits
). She let me into her room cause she had a spare bed and one thing led to another and I ended up staying in her bed, but she played the good girl so I didn't get into the pants, but groping and non groin stroking ensued.We hit it off and I stayed in her room for the res[/I]t of the trip (another 4 days) . We didn't bang until I was eliminated as was she and by that time we had spent 3 days in the same room, me pleasuring her but not the other way around. We were both quite frustrated by this point and in the end we stopped, not because of me busting, but because she was saw (it may have been my first time....)
We worked out we lived 50 miles away, so when we got back we swapped phone numbers and I texted her that night. 3 days later she cmae to visit me and that was the situation for 6 weeks.
In this time I was due to visit her the 2nd or 3rd weekend after we got back, but I had to bail at the last minute due to family coming over. She came over the following day and I thought nothing of it (her family had apparently been informed I was coming and were a bit annoyed I pulled out at the last minute).
Everything was going fine until last weekend. I went to see a friend who is going away to the US for a Phd and I thought better then taking her along, until the lats minute when I decided I wouldn't mind her coming as well. She couldn't make it due to going with a friends do (a guy, who has a gf...she took a girlie friend as well...it was a knights and wenches thing...told me not to worry.....yes I am overloading on the info).
I sent her a few texts and it was ok till the sunday when I didn't hear anything from her (we kinda arranged that when I got back she would come over if she was free). I got a text monday night (6 days ago) saying sorry for not contacting me or coming round, she had a nightmare day with her ex.
Now, this ex was her first everything. He is turning 40 now, shes 24, 25 soon and had been with him for 5 years. Lived together for a year and a half and it all went pear shaped (shes living at home with her family, her clothes are in bin liner bags..which was a warning signal for me). He was basically a emotional parasite, made her feel bad (shes a bit insecure, but works as a model on the side) and they don't speak anymore (she did go back to him because he threatened to off himself if she didn't go back to him, when she told me this I basically said if anyone said that to me I would say 'here are the razors...do you want a hand)...didn't take that well, but such a weak display is pathetic. SHe said but if you loved someone blah blah blah.
Things were turning hectic for her and the week before she warned me that she was looking at working on the weekends for extra money (only time we saw each other). I jokingly at the time text 'well best we say goodbye now, hey it was fun while it lasted'...she got defensive, told me not to be like that and I explained it away as my dry sense of humour. So basically after a few texts I rang her, we talked, everything fine, I hung up and said I would miss her (havign said it would be almost a month before I would see her again). She said she would miss me too but the in the span of 2 texts she said it would be best if we ended it now because at the moment she was too busy. I sent her a text basically saying we can either put it on pause till we can sort our (meaning her) lives out, or just call it quites now. She left it for the night and said she thought it would be best if we just ended it now and tha it wasn't going to work.
Now, I was insecure and wondered what could have happened. If it was me lack of effort or her ex....yeah, I basically was a puss and sent her a text asking if it was either of those things and she said that she felt she was the one makign all the effort and other things made it awkward for her too (I'm assuming lack of money, a rematch coming up and the ex)
Now, I'm not sure if my lack of effort, me being a bit too C&F when she was around (but being more physical, touchy feely to make up for it...I'm a physical person) had something to do with it, or if like she kept saying, it was just bad timing (she said this numourous times and kept using the phrasing 'at the mo').
She had just split from her ex 3 1/2 months before we hooked her, so maybe......said she needed to find herself or something
I'm not holding out hopes, I know we're done (she wants to be friends and def stay in contact, but I think thats just a female thing of not being seen as the bad one...I'm trying to not fool myself into thinking that at the moment and staying in contact as friends is a way back in later...although I may have suggested I would like to get back with her when her life is sorted). I did attempt to make a effort and left a voice message (she didn't answer) saying I understood how she felt. She left me a text and I have deleted all her msg's and phone number since.
Throughout I didn't change who I was, kept being me and didn't get too attached. I had a feeling the distance would get to be a issue in the end. But I still began to fall for her and it was a sense of wanting it back when I thought I was losing it
Sorry, more of a release there.
My main question is this: when you start dating someone and you begin to fall hard, how much effort do you make to keep it going if you think its worth it