"Single Women Going For Taken Men" - Why?

[jophil28]

A woman who is willing to steer you away from your current LTR, FULLY knowing that you are in an LTR and have been so for quite a while, is a giant red flag on heels.

Damn right.
Women like this are invariably only interested in the game and "the challenge" of getting the guy.
IT is easy to allow your ego to be bloated by some HB who is trying her darndest to fuk you and drag you away from your G/f only to find that when she gets what she wanted (you) it is 'game over' for her.
B/f stealing is a popular game with very attractive women.

Beware the flattering hottie .

 

[Blue Phoenix]

A woman who is willing to steer you away from your current LTR, FULLY knowing that you are in an LTR and have been so for quite a while, is a giant red flag on heels. It's no surprise that men will soon find themselves developing "Greener Grass" syndrome only to hop over the fence and find that the garden is full of weeds.

RIGHT ON. Actually poor is the guy who thinks this kind of relationship will get far. These women are like dogs who chase the car but don´t know what to do after the car stops. Of course there are exceptions (0.1% lol)...

 

[backbreaker]

Damn right.
Women like this are invariably only interested in the game and "the challenge" of getting the guy.
IT is easy to allow your ego to be bloated by some HB who is trying her darndest to fuk you and drag you away from your G/f only to find that when she gets what she wanted (you) it is 'game over' for her.
B/f stealing is a popular game with very attractive women.

Beware the flattering hottie .

you know the more i date, the more i don't agree with this. i have a different perspective on this now.

 

[horaholic]

The OP is a troll, and you all are feeding him.

 

[zekko]

Preselection is what contributes to making the guys attractive, you missed the main point here.

I did say "aside from preselection".
The point is there is more at work here than preselection.
Note the OP says:

Because I have been thinking that if it was true that single women go for taken men, then how would a guy ever get into a relationship int he first place?!?!?

Obiously it is NOT true that women only go for taken men. They go for men that are attractive. Preselection may play a part, but it is not the only thing that gives a guy value.

 

[CuriousGirl]

It's not because they're taken, it's because they have desirable attributes that unfortunately mean they've already been taken.

 

[jophil28]

It's not because they're taken, it's because they have desirable attributes that unfortunately mean they've already been taken.

Correct^^

 

[synergy1]

its preselection at its best. Before I got into my LTR, I was trying to raise the buying temperature on the chick who would become my gf. She was playing games so i decided to F-it and go talk to a hotter chick. Sure enough, in a matter of minutes i was promptly pulled away and had a fun night. later on, we discussed this and she even admitted that me getting attention from the hot chick made the deal for me.

women prefer guys with options, not necessarily guys in relationships. Although as far as sex goes, a guy in a relationship also has options. I had options before i got my last gf, and will probably have options again when i get my next gf.

 

[TIC]

I've heard guys like Mystery talk about this phenomena... I think it's called "pre-selection."

Women, for whatever reason, want to know that other girls want you. It really isn't about YOU. It's your popularity with other girls. My ex revealed this to me when we talked about clubs. She said that women don't go to clubs to pick up guys or dance with them...actually, women dress up and go to the club in order to impress and compete with other women.

None of it makes logical sense. But as I have seen in my 21 years on this planet, very little of what women do actually makes rational sense. It's as if they never become adults when it comes to the dating/social realm. Women can be smart and achieve much in college, but their personal decisions when it comes to the opposite sex just doesn't make sense

 

[zekko]

It's not because they're taken, it's because they have desirable attributes that unfortunately mean they've already been taken.

That's what I'm saying.
The guy may be taken, but he's still attractive (or has desireable attributes as you put it), so he's still going to be drawing the attention of women. Just like a hot girl is going to draw attention from guys - it doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend or not.

Which is not to say that preselection/social proof doesn't exist, it does. But it's just one part out of many.

 

[bish0p]

This is something I've never experienced even though I've always heard about it and believed it. No wait...a few years ago I was in the club with a girl I was dating...when she went to the bathroom, a fat girl got her hot friend to come and try and talk to me for her.

Anyways, girls seem to run for the hills when they find out I have a girlfriend. I find it much easier to date when I'm single (I got my current girlfriend while I was single). Even my ex, who contacted me constantly after she dumped me disappeared once she found out I had a new girlfriend.

I get approached more in clubs when I'm alone than when I'm a with a girl or friends, so I don't really think it's true that women go for guys just because they are taken. Hell, I just got rejected by a girl a month ago when she found out that I had a girlfriend, but was all flirty and hugging on me beforehand.

 

[zekko]

I get approached more in clubs when I'm alone than when I'm a with a girl or friends, so I don't really think it's true that women go for guys just because they are taken.

I think there is some credence to the concept of preselection.
However, people don't look at the opposite side of the coin. A lot of women will find out you're taken and disqualify you. It works both ways.

I saw one episode of The Marriage Ref (didn't like it). They gave a statistic on there "Women are 70% more likely to go after a man who is taken". Or something like that. Anyway, note that they did not say they are more likely to go after the guy BECAUSE he is taken, just that they're more likely to go after the guy who IS taken. And, as has been said, he's probably taken because he's one of the more desireable guys. And a guy who ISN'T taken, is more likely one of the less desireable guys.

 

[bish0p]

I think there is some credence to the concept of preselection.
However, people don't look at the opposite side of the coin. A lot of women will find out you're taken and disqualify you. It works both ways.

I saw one episode of The Marriage Ref (didn't like it). They gave a statistic on there "Women are 70% more likely to go after a man who is taken". Or something like that. Anyway, note that they did not say they are more likely to go after the guy BECAUSE he is taken, just that they're more likely to go after the guy who IS taken. And, as has been said, he's probably taken because he's one of the more desireable guys. And a guy who ISN'T taken, is more likely one of the less desireable guys.

This is what I was thinking...it's not necessarily that you are taken, but more so a vibe that you give off. If you give off the vibe that you can get women, then women will find you attractive.

 

[ThreeStorms]

We have been talking about two possibilities so far:
- The more desireable men are likely to be already taken
- Women prefer the taken guys just for the heck of it

Don't forget option number 3:
People in good relationships are more relaxed around people of the other sex, as they have nothing to win or loose. They are more confident because they don't have to. They are more secure because at the end of the evening they can go home and have sex.

So: people in good relationships tend to be more attractive than singles. It's the opposite for bad relationships.

 

[bish0p]

We have been talking about two possibilities so far:
- The more desireable men are likely to be already taken
- Women prefer the taken guys just for the heck of it

Don't forget option number 3:
People in good relationships are more relaxed around people of the other sex, as they have nothing to win or loose. They are more confident because they don't have to. They are more secure because at the end of the evening they can go home and have sex.

So: people in good relationships tend to be more attractive than singles. It's the opposite for bad relationships.

See...even there you have more stipulations, which in the end boils down to just being confident, relaxed, and happy with what you have....not necessarily that you are specifically in a relationship.

 

[zekko]

Don't forget option number 3:
People in good relationships are more relaxed around people of the other sex, as they have nothing to win or loose. They are more confident because they don't have to. They are more secure because at the end of the evening they can go home and have sex.

Oh, great point. You are so right about that. Totally true.

 

[jophil28]

We have been talking about two possibilities so far:
- The more desireable men are likely to be already taken
- Women prefer the taken guys just for the heck of it

Don't forget option number 3:
People in good relationships are more relaxed around people of the other sex, as they have nothing to win or loose. They are more confident because they don't have to. They are more secure because at the end of the evening they can go home and have sex.

So: people in good relationships tend to be more attractive than singles. It's the opposite for bad relationships.

I agree.
This third posssible explanation ( "more relaxed" ) may be another "desireable quality " ...

A fourth explanation is that some women have a compulsive desire for what they can't have .
These women are dangerous .They are driven by power and ego.
Often times this type of woman is VERY attractive and presents herself as a 'trade-up' .
IF you fall for her manipulations, and dump your G/f because this shiny new hottie is throwing you serious IL's, you may find yourself in a very lonely place very soon .

 

[zekko]

Here's the same thing in reverse;

I have a girlfriend, but I can't help but notice some of the other attractive girls around me. I've just noticed that all these girls who have that little extra something to catch my eye are all taken. And of course they are. They're not attractive because they're taken, they're in demand because they're smoking hot.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I think that it comes down to the fact that women are FOLLOWERS, we are LEADERS. They want their man to make them better women. They DEPEND on Good men to make them happy. They change like the weather. They are molded like clay. A woman knows she can't think for herself and seeks out a man who does a good job thinking for the women he courts. YOU, as a man, Have to do all the maneuvering, all the thinking, all the guidance, and mold the woman into a beautiful creature that all her girlfriends will be JEALOUS of. This is the sole purpose of a woman when seeking out a man: How much more of a woman will he make me?

 

[Pandora]

I literally had an ex girlfriend tell me that a guy having a girlfriend makes him quote "10 times more attractive to girls". I didn't believe her but she assured me that this was the case. Its funny that when your dating a chick and you guys go out she can pick up on all of the subtle IOI's women through at u, that u wouldn't otherwise notice or get. Its all a sick game to them sometimes.