Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Single sided conversation

WahidS

New Member
Joined
Nov 8, 2007
Messages
8
Reaction score
0
Alright I went out on a date

She picked me up, and she was really silent, and there was no greeting or any comments. I tried turning the situation around, and find out what kind of music she likes. I put it on some 92.7 and started to play around and dance to it. I asked her a few open ended questions, and she answered with a yes or no.

A lot of yes and no's

I'm doing most of the talking and it was getting really akward.

She brings me to a secluded dark spot, and I reclined my seat, and said talk to me. She responded with a "I don't know what to say", and I asked her favorite music and she said "I don't know, RB" "Oh really, you like RB, whos a artist you like?", "I don't know", "How about Mary J. Blige?", "Yeah shes cool"

So it was really akward, and I know that she's really into me from her friends. And my cousin also knows her and she confides to her. And she always visits me at work.

I've nexted her, but what do you think of the situation? Should I just end the date when it gets really akward? How can I get her to open up more? But for the next time I get a similar situation, how do I break it to her that

1)Not interested from the two similar dates we've had, and just LJBF her, NICELY, as her sister is my manager

2)Break out of those quiet moment
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

j0n024

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 21, 2007
Messages
1,028
Reaction score
10
Location
Texas
Why didnt you just kiss her....I think she didnt want to talk but just get to the physical. You should have escalated I mean she took you to a secluded spot..................FAIL.
 

jdbman11

Don Juan
Joined
May 9, 2005
Messages
93
Reaction score
3
Location
Tx
there must be something missing. She was giving you the cold shoulder while taking you to a dark secluded spot? Weird. As for what you've said, I think there's nothing wrong with what you did.
 

Grizou

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 19, 2007
Messages
45
Reaction score
1
Location
Switzerland
Hmm she seems to be very shy in your company. I mean VERY. If I got it right u said your common friends told you she's got a big crush on you.
I once was in sort of the same situation and, as I am quite talkative and outgoing, confronted her with it indirectly by just crackin some jokes and making her feel comfortable. Of course it took me a lot of talkin and in the end this woman completely bored me (after she turned out to be that way in every aspect of life). Yet, another night she admitted that she was totally terrified that day. To me it seemed like a different kind of approach anxiety, one that relates to the time after the approach.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
WahidS said:
...I've nexted her, but what do you think of the situation? Should I just end the date when it gets really akward? How can I get her to open up more? But for the next time I get a similar situation, how do I break it to her that

1)Not interested from the two similar dates we've had, and just LJBF her, NICELY, as her sister is my manager

2)Break out of those quiet moment
What was it about her which made you want to go out with her in the first place?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
6,580
Reaction score
11,630
WahidS said:
Alright I went out on a date

She picked me up, and she was really silent, and there was no greeting or any comments.

I've nexted her, but what do you think of the situation? Should I just end the date when it gets really akward? How can I get her to open up more? But for the next time I get a similar situation, how do I break it to her that

1)Not interested from the two similar dates we've had, and just LJBF her, NICELY, as her sister is my manager

2)Break out of those quiet moment
I had this happen to me recently, and tried not to analyze the situation too deeply and just kind of see what develops. Try out email and text messaging and see if she'll break out of her shell. That's what I did with mine and 6wks later the situation has improved. You'll also find that if you can't get some one to open up to you, then open up yourself. Usually puts them at ease.

Give her some time, help her out with it, and if you don't see any progress then explain why you plan to leave the ball in her court and walk away from it.
 
Top