"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Single Mom, weird response

gundecker

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Hi all,

So there's a woman at work that's going through a divorce...single parent of a young child. Supposedly, the child is very needy.

I finally got her number, which tells me she's interested. However, when I text her, we had a very short conversation, which went very well but that's it. She told me about dinner plans with her sister that same night we texted...all together for about two hours. I finished the text convo with telling her to give me a call if she wasn't busy. She responded with, "Definitely if I'm not exhausted!" No call.

The following morning, I text her to ask how her evening was and no response.

I left it at that as I'm not going to chase her.

My question is...is she really this freaking busy with her son and being a single parent, is this a test to see if I'm patient, or is she really not that interested?

Anything I can do to test the waters without being pushy or seeming needy?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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the_stig

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Whatever her interest level was prior to dinner you may have drove it into the ground with that morning follow-up text; way tooo needy.

Single moms are like any other Women, when interested, they'll jump all over your texts and work miracles to make their schedule available.

Depending on what other damage has been done, you may be able to salvage this. Just hold your horses and let her contact you for a change. You've expressed interest, and if there's any left to reciprocate, she'll contact you. She's going through a divorce, has a lot on her plate, in emotional turmoil, so I wouldn't hold my breath.
 

GS750

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Don't know if you went overboard. You made one attempt with no response. There's a billion reasons why she may not have responded. A second attempt right away may be pushing it. I had a simlilar situation not too long ago. I think most would agree that two attempts at contact with no response and you should drop it. If she contacts you then go from there. As Stig pointed out she's got a lot going on. A single mother with a child, family obligations, work, etc. And the impending divorce too. You may not want to jump into that fire. Oh and the fact that she's a coworker...dont know if it'd be worth going there. Dating at work, depending on the size of the workplace, may be best to avoid altogether. I subscribe to the "dont sh** where you eat" mentality. If it goes sour you could be opening yourself up to a potential sexual harassment claim down the road. But that's a worst case scenario. Good luck.
 
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gundecker

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I agree with the "dont **** where you eat" adage. Only reason why im pursuing this woman is because im transferring to another building up the street in a couple of months.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Cremasta

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gundecker said:
My question is...is she really this freaking busy with her son and being a single parent, is this a test to see if I'm patient, or is she really not that interested?
Yes, unless she's got some pretty good support around her (family, babysitters, etc) going out on a date can take anything from days to weeks to coordinate, especially if the kid is difficult.
Best thing to do is wait for her to call you back then give her two or three dates as options, if she can make it, she will.
 

gundecker

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Thanks for the response, Cremasta and to everyone that responded.

It's amazing how so little contact can be too much...
 
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I steer clear of single moms. Too much baggage. Most of them want you to help raise their little brat. No thanks.
 

nismo-4

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Your princess is in another castle. She'd move a mountain to get to eat dinner with Brad Pitt.

Now go ghost on her. Remember that all women have options and she may have gotten a better offer.

Case closed.
 
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