Single mom, low IL, what can I do?

[markrt69]

Ok heres a complicated one!

I met a very sweet, awesome, I'd call her about a "10" Single mom back the 1st of june. I am 40 she is 37. She has 3 kids living with her. We are both divorced. When we met, her interest level was about as high as it could possibly be. Mine wasn't far behind! Things were going great! We both started falling so in love with each other..she couldn't wait for me to get home from work, She kept thanking me for being me...so on and so on. Of course It was mutual. we looked forward to that next time....

Then things started to unravel. First she dropped a few bombs. First bomb was, "I am not over my last boyfriend." YIKES! She sure was acting like she hadn't EVER had a boyfriend besides me, then this? Well after much discussion, and all, things again leveled off. Then came the next bomb. "I used to be a swinger, with my ex, and I kinda liked it!" That came across like a kick to the nutz! I nearly walked away...said have a good life...but I just couldn't. So after things get back to normal, and we have decided the past is the past, bomb #3.. I am Bi.! OMG! At first I thought..hmmm. might not be so bad. But as she explained herself, I realized.."oh not SO good"! it's not like I wanted anyone but her,and she was basically telling me that she could cheat not just with a man, but with a woman too, so 100% of the population were potential lovers for her. I was not going to be included in any "Bi" experience she had.

The plot thickens. We overcame all of that, she was going to move in. Seemed like we were on a roll and nothing could stop us! Then 2 days before she was to move in, she started acting strange. That next morning, she told me she wanted me to take her home...it was over. We both were upset, but I took her home.

Then she wanted to be "friends with benefits" IE phuck friends. I figured, ok, the sex was always good with us, and we might "spark" something and get back on track. I've seen it happen a few times.

Well now she is dating other guys. The "benefits" are over naturally, but she still wants to be friends. But only if it is convenient. She tells me she loves me all the time, tells me I am the perfect guy.. She comes over occasionally, and kinos with me, just teases to no end. I got the picture..she likes attention. So to make her a little more desparate, I left her alone for awhile. Well she went on a party rampage. Lots of dates, joined a internet dating site, went to a party and stripped in front of 20 guys! When She tells me about that kind of stuff, my natural reaction is to get a little ticked off, and then of course I get accused of being jealous. Which of course helps her substantiate, her idea that "we are just not meant to be". When We are together it is lots of I love you's , kissing , hugging that sort of thing. If one of her "dates" shows up, she downplays even the friendship. that hurts right there. It's obvious my interest level in her is higher than hers is in me. I have tried, not calling, ignoring, and have even tried, dating myself. At the end of it all, she is still just like I left her..interested, but not enough for this to move forward.

I have thought that maybe, I haven't ignored her long enough ( usually 3 or 4 days) , I have possibly been to nice, taking her and the kids to dinner etc, as friends. We are in a sort of limbo.. Not really even friends, not lovers, not in a relationship, but you can tell she is waiting for something from me. She keeps hinting, by being seductive, by maintaining contact..she is waiting for me to do something. She doesn't want to give up totally, she is almost begging me ..PLEASE MAKE MY INTEREST LEVEL IN YOU HIGHER!

Ok. How do I do that? What is "missing"? Why is she still acting seductive towards me, when she is dating other guys? What one thing can I do to turn the tables here, and win out? I have tried the ignore/don't call/date others routine. It don't work to well with her. Is there another little trick to cause a woman to re-evaluate her thinking? I think she is on the verge of, impress me or lose me. Any constructive help would be much appreciated!

 

[markrt69]

Nobody can help on this?

Well, the poll looks tied! But no answers to my questions! I would have thought at least a few DJ's would have had some ideas for me to try out here...

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Leave her behind, get another girl, shes just pulling you along for fun....Shes a single mother for God's sake, a bisexual one at that..Oh yeah, read the DJ bible too...

 

[mrbreeze]

Women that age have sex drives like men have at age 18. I think that combined with the fact that they realize they are getting older and might not have all that many desirable years left turns something inside them inside out and sends em over the edge.

Most of the guys here are kids and have a natural dislike of single Mom’s so take what you hear about that with a grain of salt. I’m a single Dad so a single Mom that knows what it takes to do it alone would be perfect for me. Even when I was kid less, I always wanted kids and hooked up with a single Mom for about 2 years, I finally dumped her but kept seeing the kids. Now they are 20 and 21 and are a big part of my life that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Hell, I’m the only Dad they have ever known.

I hate to say this but your best bet is to walk away, well actually RUN. She’s dangerous, and is taking chances with your health. If she stripped in front of 20 guys, I don’t want to guess what else went on that night, but I can guarantee you it was more than she told, and I would guess it was all 20, or at least as many as wanted to partake.

You only have a few months invested here, believe me she’s not gonna change. She’s been honest with you at least, well up to a point anyway. Sounds like she’s looking for another swing partner, It doesn’t sound to me like that’s what you want.

I vote for the permanent ganji.

 

[bp1974]

So she's a bisexual, swinging, exhibitionist single mum with more red flags than a golf course, and you want us to tell you how to win her over? Not going to happen buddy.

Why is she still playing any part in your life? Delete her number and move on, she's crazier than a bag of monkeys.

 

[echo1212]

Run run!! Run far away. You can't be that desperate that youre obsessing over a single mother of 3, slut, bi-sexual, nutjob are you? When you get away from this situation and think about it after a few months, you'll laugh at yourself for actually wanting this pyscho. Run Forrest run!

 

[markrt69]

I get the picture!!!!!!!!! I guess I have a tendency to want to give the benefit of the doubt. In this case, maybe thats not a good thing! I am pretty sure I was more afraid of the case of "oneitis" this is gonna leave me with until I can find someone new to date, than I was of the potential consequences of remaining with her..!

The only way I could be with her, is if she really changed...and there is no way to prove that any change is permanent. I think she is gonna raise some messed up kids for sure, and yes I got rather attached to them too..so I am losing 4 people, not just one like in most cases!

Another fine mess I got myself in!!! On the flip side... I never go in ANYWHERE where I don't know where the exits are! I think II will forget her, as relationship material, and start looking around.. OH yes...this will no doubt probablY have her calling when she hasn't heard from me in a few weeks... Which would probably be the correct strategy if I wanted her back I guess! Maybe i can pull a reversal on her...LJBF her!!! She gets to know I am with another hottie, that I CAN TRUST, not revenge, but pretty ironic LMAO!!!!

 

[princelydeeds]

You are still missing the point. You are obsessed with a crazy, slutty, flaky, single mother with more baggage than a Bell Hop who in addition to all of that doesn't want you!!!! She doesn't want you! She doesnt want you! I repeat she doesn't want you!

Let it go Captain Ahab, just let the whale go! She is doing you a favor. You are obviously a good guy, she can't deal with a sane nice guy, shes looking for someone who is crazier than she is. Let her go!!!! Don't walk, RUN and whatever you do dont look back.

PLEASE READ THE DJ BIBLE!!!! Go out and mack 20 other saner women

 

[violator]

Are her 3 kids from the same father? I say there is a good chance that they are not.

The point is, once a hoe always a hoe. There is no way that this MILF is going to change her ways. I don't believe there is such a thing as a reformed hoe. Perhaps a few exceptions but very rare indeed.

Spare yourself much heartache and ditch her slutty ass NOW.

As the saying goes the best medicine for your bad case of onetitis is FTOW.

Cheers

 

[Jet Jockey]

Update

I am dating a MILF as well. They are much diffrent than younger chicks in several respects.

They are older, and with age, comes experience. Sometimes that means they have had time to "perfect" their game, just like you will with time. This makes them not always fall for tactics they may have fallen for when younger. Like a wild animal that has been trapped before they can be very wary... The first time is relatively easy to trap a animal. It will have learned and the second time will be tougher.

Her interest level is very important, but driven in diffrent proportions that a younger chick. All women want sex, a guy with basics..a job, a car, etc. At her age, she is flattered if another guy shows her attention. most women that are single at her age have a reason WHY they are not attached! Usually they are bytchy, headstrong, prissy or just plain confused and have no direction. Why else would her previous Hubby ditch her, or why would she ditch him. Unless he is a drunk, a bum, or a abuser, Most women her age prefer the stability they get with being married. Basic principle of physics. " A object in motion, tends to stay in motion, a object at rest, tends to stay at rest. There was some kind of "force" that made her get out of her marriage. And A divorced woman is not always reasonable! They can and will act like a wounded animal!!!

Her basic needs now are sex, sex and lots of sex. She is in her sexual prime. She isn't going to waste it just because she is losing interest in you. Plenty of guys are willing to give her all the sex she wants. In her case it sounds like women are on the menu too.

Another need is excitement. Thrill. Drama. all that shyt! They thrive on it at this age. Some other dude is going to bring your chick flowers, and he can do no wrong. She will sing songs about him, and kiss the ground he walks on for about 3 months maybe. Then she will get bored.. (older women are a BIG challenge, the IL can fall overnight) and she will be on to her next conquest.

My advice to you? If you really love her... move on. Let her get it out of her system. She will eventually get "used" up, and look for you, but is that what you want a used up woman? Find you a diffrent gal. Don't be her "friend" but don't be a asshule either. Chances are you will forget all about her. If after She has been thru a relationship or two, maybe had her guts stomped on, and hits rock bottom because of her behavior, she will come to have a new appreciation for you. it may take months or years, but they always come crawling back. After that its your call. I have had MILF's want me back after 10 damn years. I said no, but thats not the point.

When they do come back, if you are diffrent..if you have learned plenty of DJ skills that you didn't have before, yes It is possible to do it right the second time around. Most of them will run into problems with any guy they are with. It never fails because THEY are the problem. Not trying to step on your toes bro, but why would you want her back at that point? she will have been with God knows who, done some shyt that if you knew about, you'd dress her up as Bambi during deer season! If after months or years ya still want her, she will be yours if you improve your game. She'll be the equivalent of a used condom but By then you'll probably have you another hottie. Make yourself busy, try to forget her, and get you someone better. If you still insist on being with her, I assure you...you will get your chance. Even the sun shines on a dogs ass every once in awhile! No disrespect intended, just telling it like it is!!!