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Single mom issue

Caelum

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Hi guys,

I'm a 32 year old guy who have been dating a 39 year old single mother of two children, for 10 months. I should tell you that she makes more money then I do and have a better education than I do.
Last week she asked if we should start seeing other people, but she points out that she still wanted to have sex with me. Now initially I said no, I don't want to, but now after a week I don't know anymore.

I've come to realize that her hypergamy has made her choose between me (the so called Alpha ) and someone to care for her and her children. Now I don't know if I should reach out to her and keep the sex we had, no strings attached. Or if I should just let it go because I would just play after her tune.

I also have to admit that there is some degree of emotion from my side, wich I bet she've noticed, because she has talked about stuff like this in the past (not with us involved but hypothetical persons) and I never gave a damn and she chased me like hell.

Thanks for your replies guys.
 

oldmanofthesea

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I also have to admit that there is some degree of emotion from my side
I would ask the same question as ShePays, and also would ask you if you think you could handle your emotions in order to treat her as nothing more than a plate and be happy with that. If the answer is no, my advice would be to move on from her permanently and have no interaction with her. If she is talking about banging other dudes, the relationship ship has already sailed and it’s too late to fix that. But if you just want to have sex with her then keep on doing what you’re doing and see other women too.
 

Caelum

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What did you want from the relationship besides sex, anyway?
Thanks for the reply.

At first, just sex. But after 10 months with her, I started to get some feelings for her. I just couldn't be indifferent about her having sex with other guys.
 

Caelum

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I would ask the same question as ShePays, and also would ask you if you think you could handle your emotions in order to treat her as nothing more than a plate and be happy with that. If the answer is no, my advice would be to move on from her permanently and have no interaction with her. If she is talking about banging other dudes, the relationship ship has already sailed and it’s too late to fix that. But if you just want to have sex with her then keep on doing what you’re doing and see other women too.
Thanks for postning. I will let this one go and not fall for the same mistake again.
 

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ShePays

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I just couldn't be indifferent about her having sex with other guys.
Even if she only gave you a booty call, every couple of weeks, and required zero of your resources, and the bare minimum of your time?

At that point, you initiate zero contact, only see her when YOU are available, and are 100% free to pursue other interests. And, when you no longer have time or interest for her, it's a guilt-free ghost.

She did you a huge favor. Did you really want to get stuck with an older single mother? If she's MILFy, that's great, but it's MILF, not MILM, after all, right?
 
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Caelum

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Even if she only gave you a booty call, every couple of weeks, and required zero of your resources, and the bare minimum of your time?

At that point, you initiate zero contact, only see her when YOU are available, and are 100% free to pursue other interests. And, when you no longer have time or interest for her, it's a guilt-free ghost.

She did you a huge favor. Did you really want to get stuck with an older single mother. If she's MILFy, that's great, but it's MILF, not MILM, after all, right?
Yeah I guess you're right, she did me a good favor come to think of it.

Hmm it's just this initial thought in my head that makes me hesitant. What if I can't think the way you are saying?
 

oldmanofthesea

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Hmm it's just this initial thought in my head that makes me hesitant. What if I can't think the way you are saying?
And that was my point. Only you would know. In my own humble experience, it only works if you aren’t very emotionally invested in the girl AND you have at least one, preferably more women that you can easily sleep with who you still find very attractive even when you compare them to her. Otherwise, you have a one way ticket to oneitis and the longer you go, the more difficult it will be when SHE finally decides to cut you off completely.
 

ShePays

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Yeah I guess you're right, she did me a good favor come to think of it.

Hmm it's just this initial thought in my head that makes me hesitant. What if I can't think the way you are saying?
If you left things badly, you might wanna just shoot her a quick text:

"been thinking about what you said. I'm cool with it. Call me sometime."

That's it. Just leave the door ajar, and move on with your life. Don't look back. If nothing else, it'll make things less awkward if you run into each other, somewhere.

Don't start texting her or initiating contact with her. If she starts texting you, just completely deprioritize her texts, unless she's looking for a hookup, and you're available. If she just wants to chat (like girlfriends), just reply briefly, after a delay, making your replies briefer and more delayed, and less frequent (she texts twice, you reply once....she texts three times, you reply once....and so on), until she only texts you when she wants sex, and you only reply when you're available and interested. When you're no longer available and interested, stop responding.
 

bcude

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Another example of a woman who wants to have the cookie and eat it at the same time.

My advice break off all contact and move on from her. Even if the sex is easy and good you're emotionally involved and this will only get worse and lead to suffering for you. What's worse, you might even make her pregnant and then you're truly fvcked.

Think with your big head compadre.
 

ShePays

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What's worse, you might even make her pregnant and then you're truly fvcked.
That's true, and she has proven herself fertile...although, she does appear to be towards the end of her fertile years.

Still, if you can't keep your head, a clean break is best.
 

Caelum

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Another example of a woman who wants to have the cookie and eat it at the same time.

My advice break off all contact and move on from her. Even if the sex is easy and good you're emotionally involved and this will only get worse and lead to suffering for you. What's worse, you might even make her pregnant and then you're truly fvcked.

Think with your big head compadre.
Funny thing is, she even said "then we can have the cookie and eat it too".

Haven't been textning one word to her because the last thing she said was "if you change your mind, call me" and I don't think I've changed my mind.
 

oldmanofthesea

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the last thing she said was "if you change your mind, call me"
Yeah this is a girl who has zero emotions for you, and only wants a hookup. She very clearly has no feelings for you. Nothing wrong with that, and many guys dream about this situation. But it will only work for you if you have the same or less investment than her - not more investment.
 

Focal core

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Funny thing is, she even said "then we can have the cookie and eat it too".

Haven't been textning one word to her because the last thing she said was "if you change your mind, call me" and I don't think I've changed my mind.
It always amaze me when a guy follow what his guts instinct told him to do, many had fails and falls in trap of despair.
 

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LuksSkywalker

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Another example of a woman who wants to have the cookie and eat it at the same time.

My advice break off all contact and move on from her. Even if the sex is easy and good you're emotionally involved and this will only get worse and lead to suffering for you. What's worse, you might even make her pregnant and then you're truly fvcked.

Think with your big head compadre.
I agree with @bcude. Been there...
Longer you wait, more feelings you'll develop and breaking up will be much harder. If you are unhappy now, no need to wait to be sure you're unhappy. It's much easier btw if you dump her, than other way around, even if you are unhappy and considering the break up. When you get dumped, you get +10 on sadness and it will take longer for you to recover.
Leave her son, you know it makes sense :)
 
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