"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Single Men Unable to Adopt

Burroughs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2011
Messages
2,171
Reaction score
99

This is a travesty

While nearly one third of all U.S. foster care adoptions are to single people, only five percent of those single adoptive parents are men. This is not because states prevent, or even discourage, single men from adopting. On the contrary, every state in this country —including Texas— allows adoptions by single people. But while the system may be open to single men who wish to adopt, adoption agencies, case workers, and those who perform home studies of potential adoptive parents may not be. And the reason is as insidious as it is unspoken

Garry’s longtime friend and attorney, Warren Wolf, says Garry’s ordeal proves the system not only is stacked against single men, it is grievously broken and not serving the very children it is meant to help. With so many kids in need of homes, it is unconscionable that like someone like Gary has wasted his entire life repeatedly petitioning the system, without success, to allow him to adopt, he says.

“He is sincere and he is well intentioned,” he says of Gary. “To put him through the ringer like this has been abusive.”


http://www.parentwiseaustin.com/Archive/2011-11/Why-Can’t-I-Adopt-Single-Man’s-Quest-Create-Family
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,407
Reaction score
5,169
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
If he was single and g a y, they would allow it. It would be discriminatory otherwise.

But as a straight guy, it's a no go.

It's too bad. He's very well educated and has experience with kids. He'd make a great single father.
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,576
Reaction score
6,349
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
All the agencies are scared sh!tless of placing a kid in a home with a child molester or child trafficker. It's like when there are natural disasters like the tsunami, and they won't adopt out any of the orphans, because they end up as some chomo's slave. Obviously, single men aren't the only people who do things like that, but the agencies are trying to avoid the "you should have known" argument. If a woman or a couple ends up being molesters, they can say there's no way they could have known. If a single guy ends up being one, everybody will think it's the agency's fault.
 

HoneyHitter

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Messages
496
Reaction score
202
Age
45
Single men should never adopt another man's child. That's like rewarding women for promescuity. Think about that.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
12,731
Reaction score
5,151
I would adopt a hot 17-1/2 year old, and do adoptive incest on her 18th birthday. :woo:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,106
Reaction score
230
HoneyHitter said:
Single men should never adopt another man's child. That's like rewarding women for promescuity. Think about that.
For the most part I agree. Now if it was my nephew and there was no where else for him to go, I would adopt him in a heartbeat. Family is the exception to this rule.
 

rearea

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 1, 2013
Messages
50
Reaction score
6
I understand why the hesitation.

Research shows that when a female lives with an older male who is not related to her, she is 16 times more likely to get sexually abused.

However, there are some single guys who wouldnt do that and would make great fathers but the bad apples ruin it for everybody.

I honestly dont know any single men that want to adopt someone else's kid unless they are gay. Most want kids of their own or maybe a family member's kid.
 

scrouds

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2008
Messages
1,233
Reaction score
42
Location
Orlando, fl
rearea said:
I understand why the hesitation.

Research shows that when a female lives with an older male who is not related to her, she is 16 times more likely to get sexually abused.

However, there are some single guys who wouldnt do that and would make great fathers but the bad apples ruin it for everybody.

I honestly dont know any single men that want to adopt someone else's kid unless they are gay. Most want kids of their own or maybe a family member's kid.
research? links / cites are required to prove your point
 

Zarky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2010
Messages
3,213
Reaction score
89
Location
SoCal
Mike32ct said:
If he was single and g a y, they would allow it. It would be discriminatory otherwise.

But as a straight guy, it's a no go.
Actually it seems you didn't read the article:

-----------
“One of the problems is, when single parents come into an organization, it’s always a question about their sexual orientation, and many agencies presumably are not willing to place with gay and lesbian people or same sex couples: they have policies regarding that [or they] operate under ‘don’t ask don’t tell,’” says Gina Brockmeyer, an adoption coordinator with Adoption Services in Camp Hill, Penn.
-----------

So it sounds like the issue is not discrimination against single men qua single men. It's against single men qua potential homosexuals. That is, it's not discrimination against men, it's discrimination against homosexuality.

And given that the man in the story lives in Texas, this is probably multiplied by 10.
 
Top