Single + Hot = Crazy

[Rollo Tomassi]

I heard this theory come up on a local radio talk show this morning. The idea is basically for men to be wary of exceptionally hot women who are chronically single. The point being that a hot woman ought to be more likely to be monogamous by virtue of her easy ability to attract guys, but if she is constantly single that it's indicative emotional / psychological issues that prevent her from getting involved or deters men in spite of her beauty (i.e. pump & dump-able but not LTR material).

I've experienced this phenomenon played out, but I was wondering what other's takes on it was.

 

[azanon]

Just going with an Occam's Razor mentality, my presumption would be an exceptionally beautiful woman would easily become prone to being addicted to her ability to attract men. If she were to commit to any of them, then she'd be forfeiting the opportunity to continue to do that in the future.

I believe you've said many times yourself that many woman are not going to start thinking about commitment until her markettability (sp) is about to run out. If she's a smokin' 9 or 10, then she still has time.

Conversely, a less attractive woman is going to lock down a reasonable mate at the first opportunity lest she never get another chance to do so.

But to sort of change the subject, or not change it, a SS man could not care less whether the woman is going to actually commit. In fact, wouldn't it be a plus to not have to worry about her wanting to commit?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Agreed on your points. But the idea is that a chronic singleness status indicates some kind of mental imbalance. Whether that's attention whøring or BPD isn't the point. Neither is a PUA intent. The idea is in the same vein as a guy who's chronically single; we assume he's gay or a social retard. Can attractiveness and singleness be associated with a propensity for mental imbalances?

 

[Kailex]

Are we talking about a woman who is a 10 and is chronically single as in: She NEVER goes out with anyone?

Or are we talking about a woman who is a female version of a DJ?
Always single but always spinning plates.

I'm sure there's a huge difference between the two and I'm assuming that you are asking about women who are single as in "women not tied down to a relationship".

I think the answer varies, specially when it comes to certain age groups. A woman who at 23 is constantly single is viewed differently than a woman at 35 who is a certified knockout but is constantly a female version of George Clooney. But to further analyze that, would to be include the woman who at 35 is a knockout and never goes out with ANY guys at all.

I guess for me, the point is a little vague and there could be too many variables as to what is truly going on.

Now, I was pretty sure that women were driven by a "need a man to procreate some children" type need. I've seen it a LOT lately with women ages 29 - 34. If at this point, they are single and hot, there very well could be something wrong with them.

Chemical imbalance, though? Not quite sure.
Issues? Most probably.

 

[azanon]

But the idea is that a chronic singleness status indicates some kind of mental imbalance. ....Can attractiveness and singleness be associated with a propensity for mental imbalances?

That's a tough question, and I'd have to answer yes in the case of singleness, meaning it "can" be associated with those things, but not necessarily.

Truth be told, I can right now think of several "older" single guys (not so many girls) that I know for a fact are reckless in their overall lives; reckless job-wise, financially, socially, and with women. In contrast, most of the men I know of that are married to very attractive women usually have their s*** straight. I can't help but presume women are picking up on the same things I am and that it perhaps that explains why these "mentally imbalanced" men don't have any high-value women committing to them. I'm guessing the same could be true of women, but I can't think of as many examples of that in my own personal life.

To use a math term, yeah, I think there is probably some positive correlation between those two things. But as anyone who understands correlation knows, that doesn't necessarily mean they're definitely linked in all cases, unless the correlation is a 1.0.

But I don't say any of that to suggest that I'm vilifying men (or women) for being single for a longer term. But where it concerns women, it biologically does not make as much sense to delay having a highly fit male partner locked down as it does men. With men, biologically the more women partners, the more successful they are.

...........
As for links between attractiveness and mental imbalance? I don't really know. I wouldn't think so?

 

[grayclif]

Interesting. In my experience most 9/10's in their 30's are career corporate types that for some reason are too busy to date or are already hooked with a married man. In any event there are very few single 30 somethings that aren't single mom's. These hot single mom's I find to be chronically single.

 

[squirrels]

Agreed on your points. But the idea is that a chronic singleness status indicates some kind of mental imbalance. Whether that's attention whøring or BPD isn't the point. Neither is a PUA intent. The idea is in the same vein as a guy who's chronically single; we assume he's gay or a social retard. Can attractiveness and singleness be associated with a propensity for mental imbalances?

Ehhh maybe.

I take a different view of things. Girls who are attractive start getting the world handed to them early-on by chumpish guys, who will promise them everything and not hold them responsible for anything, just for a hope of getting some "lovin".

As a result, many of these girls never grow up. They don't have to. They have no incentive to.

Men are one case. No one is going to hand the world to a man for looking good. He may have an easier time of things, but he's still expected to take responsibility for his action and go out and get what he wants in life.

Women are another case entirely.

One thing I've heard several times from different women is that they want to embark on a particular career, but "if it doesn't work out, I'll just find a sugar daddy to take care of me." That's how they THINK! It sounds like BS on the surface, but that's how they operate. They're never held responsible for anything.

When was the last time you saw an attractive woman down on her luck? I mean, outside of rehab or something? An attractive woman can find a man to take her in if she loses her job, her house, etc. SOMEONE will have pity on her and try to "make everything all right" in the hopes of formulating some kind of romance. Men are programmed to do this, largely because of the social guilt that is heaped on them for their success.

A woman who is immature, who has never been encouraged to grow up, isn't going to want to reproduce on her own, thus, she's not going to seek out commitment to one man. All of her materialistic or emotional needs, she can satisfy better with a plethora of men than with a single provider...who can give her SOME things but not OTHERS that she wants.

If she DOES get involved with one man, lots of times, it's a result of shaming. Either the guy himself or her friends and family start shaming her for not being able to "hold down a man", so she gets involved with one guy, but finds that he lacks the ability to satisfy her need for the emotional rollercoaster that young women get off on.

Being in CONFLICT with that one man makes for so much juicier drama than being in-league with him. Women like this will go through all the nonsense of a relationship, maybe even to the point of an engagement...but they'll do everything they can to make life miserable for the guy they're with, in the hopes that she can get HIM to leave by becoming intolerable. She won't be outright abusive, but she'll play the non-committal game, never make time for him, make him do all the "work" in the relationship.

If he's too much of a sap to break it off with her, then eventually, she'll do the one thing that is sure to break them up...she will CHEAT on him.

Then she gets kicked to the curb, because while even being a total flaky retard or miserable life-partner isn't enough to get a true chump to drop a woman, if she touches another d!ck, he will drop her like a hot potato.

This is what she WANTS. Because now that she isn't committed to this one guy, she once again has options to take bits and pieces of what she wants from every man she encounters. And because she has made the poor chump so miserable and angry in her time with him, by the time they break up, HE seems like the bad guy.

A lot of this has to do with parenting. A woman without a strong father figure in her life to hold her accountable will more often than not end up with this mentality if she's attractive.

Unattractive women...well, no one gives them sh*t. So they HAVE to develop a personality and a strong attitude in life.

Most VERY-attractive women...need to be treated like kids if you want to bang them. It almost gives you a dirty feeling when you treat them that way, like you're a child molester or something...because they really ARE children in their heads, even if the body is 18 or 20 or 25.

As far as commitment...well, good luck.

 

[Powerlifter]

When you say single are you saying never dating or never married?

I am 51 never married with no kids and never feel there is anything wrong with me but actually feel there is something positively impressively right and normal to me aside from putting up with the social conventions of nosy butt people assuming I am gay or something.

For women I know this playboy model type who is 35 never married no kids and I can't help but feel there is something not right with that picture. But my thinking isn't fair because she then has the right to assume there is something wrong with me and I am perfectly happy with my single life.

Anyway, this is a good discussion to have I await further post from members so I can find out if I am mentally ill after all these years of singleness and fun

Powerlifter

 

[horaholic]

I definitely think there is something wrong with chronically hot single women. Wither they're total hor's who do it by choice, and will probably never be relationship material, or there is something undateable about them, and no man will tolerate her in a relationship.

 

[hansol]

I've heard it as:

a) sexy
b) single
c) sane

You may only pick two.

 

[jophil28]

... my presumption would be an exceptionally beautiful woman would easily become prone to being addicted to her ability to attract men. If she were to commit to any of them, then she'd be forfeiting the opportunity to continue to do that in the future.

Yes indeed. I have seen this many times. However I would add that it is likely that she is in fact addicted to the flood of brain chemicals which accompany all the drama of a parade of men pursuing her and her ultimately REJECTING them one by one.
Squirrels also wrote very well on those women's need to create conflict and how they do it, and why.
His post above is outstanding, and chillingly accurate.

Ultimately, these HB"s live a life of an extended childhood in which fawning men replace fawning parents.
I do not so much believe that they are mentally retarded ( even though their behavior may indicate a disorder) I believe that they are just acting like any spoiled child does when it has willing adults at it's beck and call.

Certainly most of these "women" end up trophy wives, or repeat offenders in divorce court.

Avoid .

 

[romangod]

The idea is in the same vein as a guy who's chronically single; we assume he's gay or a social retard. Can attractiveness and singleness be associated with a propensity for mental imbalances?

An attractive single male also might be associated with intelligence and a strong sense of self. One who hasn't lowered his standards to partake of a low character woman.

He might be discriminating in his choice of who deserves his time and attention. I would suggest he's more balanced than all the AFC's paying through the teeth for a bad decision in a mate.


Cheers!

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I've heard it as:

a) sexy
b) single
c) sane

You may only pick two.

Augh. You're gonna make my brain melt!


Oohp..there it goes....

 

[Zarky]

The key to seduction is not painting with a broad brush. This thread paints with a very broad brush.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Rollo,
Well,the're in Iraq and Afghanistan,they drive cranes,so why not Donna Juanitas?....Whats sauce for Goose is Sauce for gander.

 

[Amazing]

I've heard it as:

a) sexy
b) single
c) sane

You may only pick two.

pick sexy and sane, and get rid of the guy

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Can attractiveness and singleness be associated with a propensity for mental imbalances?

While I don't have any hard data, and I doubt any proper research has been done, but my gut instinct tells me you won't find too many stunners muttering word salad on a street corner, or in the loony bin.

Also, I wouldn't lean toward "mental imbalance" as an accurate label. More like a run of the mill shitty personality.

Lord knows there's enough of those to go around.

You could also argue that single stunners have yet to feel the "ticking clock" so to speak, and realize their social worth, and don't see the need for commitment.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

An attractive single male also might be associated with intelligence and a strong sense of self.

From our side (DJs) of the equation we can certainly see the logic of this, but for men, to be single, childless and never married after 30 carries a social stigma. Of course they're presumptions, but how many times have your married friends attempted to set you up with a girl who they think has LTR / Marriage potential for you when you're single? The presumptions are you're a workaholic, status seeking, a latent homosexual or must have some other personality flaw if you're not following "life's plan" like everyone else. In fact in most instances being married (or at least in a serious LTR) serves as social proof of a certain degree of maturity that might be beneficial for a guy in his career. At the very least it encourages the perception that you're not gay, irresponsible or overly status seeking and family oriented, irrespective of the actual truth.

Now, that's as it applies to Men; I'm not so sure that it benefits women as much. We can play the career woman meme and forgive her for not being married and childless, and she garners a relative respect because "she's fighting her way up the corporate ladder to break the glass ceiling in a world controlled by men" so we respect that personal sacrifice. In fact if she's a single parent or married we afford her that much more respect because she's "doing it all" and at a perceived disadvantage.

That's all about the career driven people, but what I was getting at is, is there a corollary between an average woman's attractiveness, her being perpetually unable to establish a healthy LTR and a personality disorder or mental imbalance? Maybe using the term "chronically single" was a bit of a misnomer. What I mean is an otherwise healthy, dating, attractive woman who's unable to establish a long term connection with a guy. That may be due to men becoming wary of her, or by her own inability to make a lasting connection due to her own insecurities. Essentially, is an HB 9 who's never been in a healthy LTR by age 30 a woman that men should wary of? Is it a red flag?

 

[jophil28]

. Essentially, is an HB 9 who's never been in a healthy LTR by age 30 a woman that men should wary of? Is it a red flag?

It depends on how many unhealthy relationships she has had (or will admit to).
I know several women who have a history of turmoil and drama in their intimate relationships. These women have not learned one thing from their experiences and all three of them are HOT.. and some would even say that all three are loons.

 

[Kailex]

I wonder if the discussion of "Logic vs Emotion" comes into play here.
Most of what I am seeing in this thread is men trying to logically find ways for which a woman COULD be single and hot and NOT be crazy.

Yet, I am sure that if you ask a woman the same question, they'll probably give Rollo a bit more outlandish answers.

We've discussed the career woman and maybe the woman who is avoiding a myriad of courters but no long-term prospects, but no one here has blatantly given a true and honest proposal as to why we should consider an HB-10 who has been single for most of her life... as someone who is insane.

It seems we are more adept to trying to take a look at such woman through 1 on 1 basis and not as a generalization.

I wonder if the same would be true had this question been asked to 100 different women.

I'm still inclined to agree that a single and hot woman is not clinically insane, but could be quite positively a woman with trust issues or commitment issues.