Sincere advices needed.

[DjVelvet]

I have known this girl for 3 years odd. Let her name be Abby, quite attractive but not to the drop dead gourgeous lvl. We used to be ex-colleagues for 1.5years and sitting opposite one another. Abby is a Nice girl, perhaps a gameplayer but take very good care of her home and family. We have millions of similar interest, and we took singing lessons together, and even wear braces together lol. Of coz we have tons of common topic to talk about and are very close to one another. We left the job because the company was about to close down..

I join a new workplace and coincidently Abby joined too (Became co-workers again) It is to the stage everyone (We had tons of common friends) teases that we are made for one another. (Of coz you guys will say./.. **** Fate!)
We do have a lot of trust towards one another and definately, will see one another very often (coworkers, classmates, common friends) (May be a good or bad thing).

During this period i had a gf which's a separate story. And Abby was seeing another guy, she did like him a lot(No strings attached i guess). My gf and i broke off last oct; and Abby stopped seeing the other guy around the same period (That guy met another girl and so called 'dumped' her). We starting going out together. All these while, i have a strong impression of her, but i hang out with her like a very good friend in the past; now i discovered that i'm beginning to fall for her a bit. At the same time i'm seeing another girl occasionally.

All these while, i have been really playful with her (sometimes even calling her darling and roleplaying marriage stuffs in a very humourous manner; in asia, its quite a big deal) and she play along well. I am an extremely humourous guy with tons of female friends. Everytime she saw me or hear my voice, she will giggle a lot. Always enthusitic to see me. In short, i feel several IOIs from her. I'm beginning to see her as a potential LTR; but its still early to tell since we had been friends for years.

Situation
Just last night, we hang out, it was her first day in my company and i am her mentor; teaching her about the job. I understand about the clause about the nonos of dating a co-worker. However, given all the conditions above, we are definately not just co-workers.

We sit down for a drink after work and had dinner; we are talking about movies when she suddenly mention about the guy she used to date (see above). I asked if she's still thinking about him in a casual manner. She still thinks about him a bit but determined to forget him as that guy has a new girl.
I was a bit disappointed of course.(My gut feeling tells me that she's treating me like a good friend instead) I am not trying very hard to get her, but i make sure i did the right thing and be the normal humourous charming guy always.

In this case...I intend to do something which's what i have used in success before...

Since Our vibe has always been very very playful (I always joke about we being husband and wife and divorcing her, get what i mean?). I intend to land an AFC bomb.

Example.
Me : You know what!? Let's get married, I'll bring you and our 20 kids to South Africa for a safari ride.

Abby : Lol, you crazy guy! (expected reaction as always)

Me : (Catch this) No but seriously I kinda like you (In a playful, cheeky manner)

Abby : Chuckles

Me : Nah this time its no joke. Do i always look sooooo casual and humourous? lol

Abby : ???? giggle

Me : I'm for real this time.


Cry of AFC? Lol i hope not. Anyway. the above conversation minus the "i'm for real" part has always been my style of teasing chicks. and most of them love it a lot. either casually or playfully. lol.

Well. but to you guys. How will you deal with this chick? I have intention to walk away. The effect may be strong as we see one another often these 3 months ever since i broke up with my gf. but then again we are co-workers now... walking away may not be.... as effective...

Many attractive girls come and go in my life. But this quality girl is different. (Come on. we will meet at least 1 or 2 girls whom fit into that category).
The fact is that she ask me out frequently, but drop this bomb that she's still thinking about that guy. To be honest. It did fuk my mind up a bit.

Sincerely request for your wise input.
Thanks

 

[KontrollerX]

Red flags so far...

-Games player
-Deeply interested in another guy as well as you.
-Is already using jealousy to manipulate you and in typical male fashion you see it as her simply being honest and nothing else. Yeah she was honest about her attraction to the other guy but jealousy was her main motive to instill it in you I mean.
-You work with her which means that if things fall to sh!t you are up sh!t's creek without a paddle if you really need this job and can't quit in a heartbeat anyway. The phrase "Don't sh!t where you eat" rings loudly and clearly here.

Well my sincere advice is because she is a game's player whose manipulations have already seemed to go over your head and already by your own admission "fvcked with your head" I would advise you to invest no emotions into this girl.

Have fun with her, game her right back and see if you can get her into bed but beyond that nothing more.

At least not while you two are still working together and she is actively playing games anyway.

Thats all I can tell ya.

 

[joekerr31]

you are a master at putting yourself in the LJBF zone.

i have no clue what you are doing. it sounds like you pal around with a women for months and then hope at some point she wants to suck your kawk.

either shes your friend or she's someone you want to f*ck. if she's someone you want to f*ck then spending months becoming her close friend just so you can get into her panties is a bad idea. you should never purposely put yourself in the friends zone.

what you should do is try to close the deal in the beginning stages. if she rejects you but still wants to be friends, THEN assess whether you are ok with being in the friends zone.

but your doing this ass backwards by purposely starting in the friends zone.

 

[DjVelvet]

MSN dialogue

Was talking to her online while i was typing the post before..

Abby: mr ong (My Pet Name)
DJvel: What is up, my dear Abby?
Abby: thks for carrying the stuffs for me (We are out shopping for Chinese new year stuffs and i was carrying heap loads of stuffs)

Djvel: taking care of my baby? (Joke about this previously)
Djvel: The stuffs = my baby?
Abby: wahahaha
Abby: Hehehe
Djvel: You'r welcome
Djvel: But,.
Djvel: No more next time. Don't call me out if you are going for shopping
(Joking context)

Abby: wahahaha
Abby: Alright
Abby: kekekekeeke

 

[DjVelvet]

you are a master at putting yourself in the LJBF zone.

i have no clue what you are doing. it sounds like you pal around with a women for months and then hope at some point she wants to suck your kawk.

either shes your friend or she's someone you want to f*ck. if she's someone you want to f*ck then spending months becoming her close friend just so you can get into her panties is a bad idea. you should never purposely put yourself in the friends zone.

what you should do is try to close the deal in the beginning stages. if she rejects you but still wants to be friends, THEN assess whether you are ok with being in the friends zone.

but your doing this ass backwards by purposely starting in the friends zone.

Alright, maybe i should elaborate further. I'm just singled last October/Nov. In the past, she's not very receptive to my "Flirts and Teases". Recently she's getting quite accustomed to it and played along more than ever.

Thus i was seeing a fair bit of chance; (Previously i harboured no hopes in this chick)

 

[DjVelvet]

Anyway, she asks me out quite frequently.. I'm beginning to see this going nowhere.. Intending to walk away (not accepting her dates if i'm busy). but of coz. not to the lvl of delibrately avoiding her.

 

[DjVelvet]

Red flags so far...

-Games player
-Deeply interested in another guy as well as you.
-Is already using jealousy to manipulate you and in typical male fashion you see it as her simply being honest and nothing else. Yeah she was honest about her attraction to the other guy but jealousy was her main motive to instill it in you I mean.
-You work with her which means that if things fall to sh!t you are up sh!t's creek without a paddle if you really need this job and can't quit in a heartbeat anyway. The phrase "Don't sh!t where you eat" rings loudly and clearly here.

Well my sincere advice is because she is a game's player whose manipulations have already seemed to go over your head and already by your own admission "fvcked with your head" I would advise you to invest no emotions into this girl.

Have fun with her, game her right back and see if you can get her into bed but beyond that nothing more.

At least not while you two are still working together and she is actively playing games anyway.

Thats all I can tell ya.

Point taken. agree with that. Thanks a lot bro.

 

[joekerr31]

Anyway, she asks me out quite frequently.. I'm beginning to see this going nowhere.. Intending to walk away (not accepting her dates if i'm busy). but of coz. not to the lvl of delibrately avoiding her.

this is going nowhere because your being her friend. what do you want from her? do you want to date her, make out with her, f*ck her? if you do, then what the hell are doing acting like her friend?

your doing things ass backwards. your being her friend first and waiting for it to blossom into something more.

if you want more you have to lead. you have to escalate. you have to move things from being 'pals' to intimacy.

why would you walk away before taking your shot? i dont understand.

you're waiting for her to suddenly jump in and start kissing you or something, and if she doesnt your going to walk away?

YOU have to make a move dude.

THIS is the problem with being friends first, it becomes very awkward to try and turn it into an intimate relationship. you get into a routine of hanging out and joking around, but there never seems to be an appropriate time to kiss her for instance. so you end up waiting and waiting for her to make a move.