taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
Walking up and talking to girls is scary. No two ways about it.
The hotter she is, the harder it is. (No, that's not what I mean, lol).
But with practice, you can significantly decrease your approach anxiety
How?
Think of it this way. Our brains come preprogrammed with tons of pre loaded instincts and thought patterns. A long time ago, we were just dumb animals without much conscious awareness.
Slowly, over time we became more and more "smart."
But underneath all of our conscious intelligence is a big dumb caveman.
In fact, we've got three brains, not one. Whenever Mother Nature makes an upgrade, she doesn't uninstall the old version and install the new version.
She just installs the new version on top of the old version.
So underneath our conscious, human brain, we've got a mammalian brain. And under that, we've got a reptilian brain.
Honest. This isn't some alien mumbo-jumbo or anything like that.
Our basic raw, fight or flight instincts are in our lizard brains. The more complicated stuff, mating, sex, desires, etc, are in our chimp brain.
Then all of our logic and language and stuff is in our human brain.
One of the things that has kept us alive throughout the thousands of years is our ability to sniff out fear, even when it doesn't exist.
See, it's better, according to the long laws of statistics, to be wrong nine times out of ten if it keeps us alive that one time out of ten when there really is something dangerous there lurking behind the corner.
So whenever you walk into a joint where there's plenty of cuties, your "potential danger" filter is on high alert.
However, understanding that this is just an unconscious response, based on instincts and evolution, can help us.
How?
Consider this. If you've ever been on a diet, then you had to use some conscious willpower to overcome your desire to eat burgers instead something more healthy, right? Of course you have.
And if you have a job that requires you to get up in the morning, when you'd rather sleep in, your conscious brain is overriding your unconscious desire to hit the snooze button, right?
Your unconscious brain has instincts, but these can be overridden by conscious thought.
It takes practice, but if you've ever been on a diet for a while, it gets easier and easier. At first it sucks, but after a while it's not so hard to eat chicken breasts instead of deep fried lard covered in salt.
Similarly, you can train your brain to think other thoughts than your caveman brain is forcing you to think whenever you look at cuties.
The easiest way is to practice thinking in terms of logic, and conscious thought. Ignore your caveman brain screaming that you might get rejected and humiliated. Remember, that's the same caveman brain that's telling you if you don't eat cheese fries you'll die.
Instead of letting your caveman brain think of that cute girl across the bar as the answer to all your sexual prayers, force yourself to think of her more logically. Just like your caveman brain is telling you that those cheese are so essential, it's telling you that girl is a perfect angel from heaven.
You know that she's not. Not even close.
Take at least an hour a week to practice this new way of thinking. Go somewhere where there's plenty of girls, not to approach, but just to practice right thinking.
Each girl you look at, imagine what her personality is like. Imagine what shortcomings she might have. Imagine what her own perceived weaknesses are. Force yourself to start thinking of gorgeous girls as normal humans, with normal faults and shortcomings.
Do this long enough, and you'll start approaching with curiosity, instead of fear.
The hotter she is, the harder it is. (No, that's not what I mean, lol).
But with practice, you can significantly decrease your approach anxiety
How?
Think of it this way. Our brains come preprogrammed with tons of pre loaded instincts and thought patterns. A long time ago, we were just dumb animals without much conscious awareness.
Slowly, over time we became more and more "smart."
But underneath all of our conscious intelligence is a big dumb caveman.
In fact, we've got three brains, not one. Whenever Mother Nature makes an upgrade, she doesn't uninstall the old version and install the new version.
She just installs the new version on top of the old version.
So underneath our conscious, human brain, we've got a mammalian brain. And under that, we've got a reptilian brain.
Honest. This isn't some alien mumbo-jumbo or anything like that.
Our basic raw, fight or flight instincts are in our lizard brains. The more complicated stuff, mating, sex, desires, etc, are in our chimp brain.
Then all of our logic and language and stuff is in our human brain.
One of the things that has kept us alive throughout the thousands of years is our ability to sniff out fear, even when it doesn't exist.
See, it's better, according to the long laws of statistics, to be wrong nine times out of ten if it keeps us alive that one time out of ten when there really is something dangerous there lurking behind the corner.
So whenever you walk into a joint where there's plenty of cuties, your "potential danger" filter is on high alert.
However, understanding that this is just an unconscious response, based on instincts and evolution, can help us.
How?
Consider this. If you've ever been on a diet, then you had to use some conscious willpower to overcome your desire to eat burgers instead something more healthy, right? Of course you have.
And if you have a job that requires you to get up in the morning, when you'd rather sleep in, your conscious brain is overriding your unconscious desire to hit the snooze button, right?
Your unconscious brain has instincts, but these can be overridden by conscious thought.
It takes practice, but if you've ever been on a diet for a while, it gets easier and easier. At first it sucks, but after a while it's not so hard to eat chicken breasts instead of deep fried lard covered in salt.
Similarly, you can train your brain to think other thoughts than your caveman brain is forcing you to think whenever you look at cuties.
The easiest way is to practice thinking in terms of logic, and conscious thought. Ignore your caveman brain screaming that you might get rejected and humiliated. Remember, that's the same caveman brain that's telling you if you don't eat cheese fries you'll die.
Instead of letting your caveman brain think of that cute girl across the bar as the answer to all your sexual prayers, force yourself to think of her more logically. Just like your caveman brain is telling you that those cheese are so essential, it's telling you that girl is a perfect angel from heaven.
You know that she's not. Not even close.
Take at least an hour a week to practice this new way of thinking. Go somewhere where there's plenty of girls, not to approach, but just to practice right thinking.
Each girl you look at, imagine what her personality is like. Imagine what shortcomings she might have. Imagine what her own perceived weaknesses are. Force yourself to start thinking of gorgeous girls as normal humans, with normal faults and shortcomings.
Do this long enough, and you'll start approaching with curiosity, instead of fear.