"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Simple Tip: Drop The Headphones

aftershock

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This is a very simple but effective tip, especially for those who are still rather AFC.

I want you to get out your cassette, minidisc, CD player or ipod. Find its packaging, or a box. Put it away. Do not touch it for a month.

I remember ages ago when my cassette player broke. I was annoyed. I had to spend time without music! But, I noticed a slight change in me. Rather than walk into a shop, buy something and walk out, I'd actually start a small conversation with the checkout girl. I'd smile at people when I was walking around, and talk to them.

Your headphones are a barrier from the real world. Put them away, and after that month I doubt you'll be getting out your ipod again.

I never did get another cassette player.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Carnegie

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I never have headphones on and I still can't talk to people.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I can go along with this if you are a guy that naturally avoids people, AFC or not. However, those little digital devices can be used as an opening to someone sharing your space at a bus stop or any other place where the two of you are idly waiting.

Topics can be anything like the marvel of how audio devices have changed since you were kids (if you are 30-something), to asking for help creating a play list from a young nubile audiophile packing her own iPod.

Remember, DJs do not avoid opportunities, they use whatever is interesting to take advantage of it!
;)
 

Jake-inator

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I totally agree, i haven't used headphones in public since highschool.

I was in the gym the other night, and there was a girl in there wearing headphones.

She was really shy and quiet and seemed to get a little nervous when i tried to talk to her.

I got her attention twice, but she kept putting those damn headphones back on!!!

Her face was a 6/7 but she had the nicest ass. I wanted to just get behind her and stick my shlong in her while she was on the treadmill. :D

Probably would have happend too if she hadn't been so busy avoiding human contact.

I can't believe the lenghts people will go to avoid getting laid.

TAKE THOSE DAMN HEADPHONES OFF!!!
 

sk24iam

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I would never get rid of my ipod. I don't think that listening to music on ur headphones has anything to do with AFC.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheGotDamnHNiC

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i don't get it...i take my headphones everywhere with me since i'm usually on the bus...i feel stupid standing at the bus stop without them.
 

Poindexter

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Yeh I use my Shuffle in the gym, the gangster dudes know I'm there to lift, not listen to their attitude. They don't bother me. Without the headphones they're always tryin' to bother you.

But if you're waiting in a room somewhere with a hot chick, it's best to take them off as it's harder for her to connect with you.
 

skeeloo

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nope i dont agree with geting rid of your mp3. well if you are afc then maybe it may hinder you in some ways.. but for others it canbe used to start a convo .. i know of about 3 times i got girls numbers by starting a convo about my mp3 player.. on time this one chick ask me if she could hear how good the sound quality on my player was.. because she siad she was thinking of geting one similar for her self.. i know.. she was just looking for an opening to start a convo.. and we started a convo from there. so it really depends... on your luck really. i dont see how your headphones can stop you chating a girl. if you see someone you fancy or you feel a girl gave you the greenlight.. just take it off and chat her. i for one love listening to music when im walking about. it keeps me happy. if you are an introvert then you are an introvert.. with or without an headphone. i have chated to people without headphones that wont look me in the eye. so this dont really add up.
 

Baseball05

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Hey man, I see the point your getting out. Thing is, music is a great thing. Does it really matter if music is the DJ thing to do, or the AFC thing? I mean, listening to music on the bus ride can get you pumped out or in a good mood. If you see a HB, just take them off and start up a convo, come on guys, they are cemented to your head. You feel like listenin to music, go for it big guy. Just be sure to not to pass up any convo's :p
 

aftershock

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I see the point in having your ipod or whatever to start a conversation. However I can start a conversation about pretty much anything and don't really need props.

I find that removing the headphones makes things look less smooth than how I like them to be.

I also thought that I couldn't live without music on the bus etc, but I do, just fine. I'd still suggest giving it up for a month, or even just a few days to try a different angle on things. If you don't try, you'll never know.

Of course the great thing about this forum is that you don't have to agree with me yet you can still get the same results doing your thing - but to claim that it "doesn't add up" is stretching things a bit...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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DetectiveMills

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Yeah, I used to think that I would look very anti-social if I had my iPod hooked to my ears all the time. However, in a way, it kinda gets me pumped up a bit -- especially when it's a song I really like. I usually end up dropping the headphones when there's a reason to (i.e. seeing a friend, someone I know, a hot girl).

I guess it's no different than when these girls immediately attach their cell phones to their heads the second they leave class as if not doing so would be against the law.
 

[]D [] []V[] []D

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Hey aftershock... i really agree with you on this one

I dun care what other ppl think but i think that ppl who have headphones on their heads think they're so cool! Like a lotta AFC's have em at my highschool... i nvr wear my crappy CD player... its too big anyways lol

Like theres some people that just have it on their necks hanging around... its more of a fashion statement to me than a transportable music thing.

Whenever i see ppl with headphones... my first impression of them is that they're loners lol... and yes, it kills convo esp. because ppl put it on so loud now-a-days.
Makes me wanna beat those ppl up for being such AFC's.... but i guess DJ's have headphones too?

Anyways... im too poor ;) to afford an ipod lol :) that's probably why im hatin lol... w/e... thats why i use the mp3/ipod of the chick im mackin with... cuz all the popular chicks have them these days... bahh lol
 

Poindexter

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Originally posted by []D [] []V[] []D
Hey aftershock... i really agree with you on this one

I dun care what other ppl think but i think that ppl who have headphones on their heads think they're so cool! Like a lotta AFC's have em at my highschool... i nvr wear my crappy CD player... its too big anyways lol

Like theres some people that just have it on their necks hanging around... its more of a fashion statement to me than a transportable music thing.

Whenever i see ppl with headphones... my first impression of them is that they're loners lol... and yes, it kills convo esp. because ppl put it on so loud now-a-days.
Makes me wanna beat those ppl up for being such AFC's.... but i guess DJ's have headphones too?

Anyways... im too poor ;) to afford an ipod lol :) that's probably why im hatin lol... w/e... thats why i use the mp3/ipod of the chick im mackin with... cuz all the popular chicks have them these days... bahh lol
Just what you'd expect of a gentleman's forum - a mature, balanced point of view?
 

gts007

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I've never ever been a headphone in public guy but I think I'll start wearing the ipod around after reading this. Listening to music will take my mind off of the approach so when it happens the phones come off and the convo starts with no effort.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

snintel

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I don't understand why people need music with them all the time. It's just freaking music. Are you so scared of your own thoughts that you constantly have to drown them out? Dump the music and think some more. Imagine. I swear, it seems like its mostly white people who are so obsessed with music. I've never bought a CD, and I have a few Mp3's. I like what's good, and when Im in the mood, but music is not really something that dominates my day.
 

azn_alex

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^lol seriously man, just coz u dont feel the same way dont mean u gotta diss it. music is a big part of most ppl's lives, it makes them feel a certain way

its entertainment. its like saying 'would u rather watch a movie or stay in ur room and stare at the wall day dreaming'

i love my music, but i do agree that having ur earphones on all the time does create a barrier to the real world sometimes and also makes u look unapproachable (not that girls approach anyway)
 

skeeloo

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should this thread even be an issue i mean you guys have gotta be kidding listening to music is now afc? what next?.....

quite dogmatic.. of some ppl here.. enforcing thier beliefs on everybody... live your own lifes.

lol. geez.
 

Ricky

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I LOVE MUSIC. But I don't listen to it all the time, plus I want a higher capacity MP3 player than the flash drive one I use at the gym.

That all being said it is pretty interesting here in Boston. Girls either have an IPOD or a cellphone in their ear at all times. I think it's a major ***** shield or insecurity as well in some cases.
 

Rad

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I see it as opportunity. Usually when I see people with headphones I ask them what they're listening too, then you can lead the conversation another way.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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