Silly girl or did I f*ck this up?

[lifeislearning]

Met this girl at work and from the get go we had a flirty thing going on. I had a girlfriend and she had this AFC clinger she called her "best friend" so nothing happened. Time passes and she plans to move near AFC and try dating him. My job was ending, and I began contemplating a move elsewhere: most likely home to a job and house near the AFC. Girl and I run into each other and have this long convo where we discussed potential plans. She found it strange I would be so close as she had told herself for months only one guy could get in the way of AFC, and that would be me.

Shocked but pleasantly surprised we started dating. As I wrapped work up over the next 3 weeks she wanted to take time to end things with AFC and we stopped talking. I never expected to hear from her again. We sent a few letters, but again I expected nothing from it and lived my life. Days away from the trip I got a call from her. Everything with AFC was over, and she couldn't wait to see me. I arrived, and almost instantly found out the job and therefore house were no more. Determined not to let it get me I started looking for work, spent time with friends and fam having fun, and dating girl.

Dating was great but every now and again she would get sad and say she missed her friend. Never expected him not to be in her life. Life was hard being away from home for the first time, and her life was limited to a job she didn't like and me. Had a few talks that boiled down to me saying: he was never a friend, things won't be the same if you reset that, and if you think you're better with him: adios.

Eventually she says she has to try things with him or she won't be able to let it go. This was the 1st time she felt the pain of a breakup and she couldn't believe that was normal. Silly girl.

For me: life goes on. Pain sure, but I'm focusing on myself now. Friends say she will be back. Maybe. Not sure if I'll even be interested then. Is there anything I could/should have done differently? Honestly I think I did well with a sh!t situation. Can't believe she went with AFC, but honestly he was the safe bet and she has nothing from her past, he would be a link to that. She said being with me was a challenge because she felt she had to be her best to keep me around. Guess she's not completely misguided. Thoughts?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Learner,
If you were spinning Plates,you wouldn't be stewing....Just treat her as a bit of fun,meantime making sure you have other options open!

 

[WoodB]

You did the right thing by being a man. If she wants a man, she will conatct you. And if she contacts you, give it a good hard look. In the meantime, get out there and flex, do your thing.

 

[lifeislearning]

Know how I know I need to spin plates? I almost said I don't want to.

Spinning plates is like going to the gym. When you're sitting comfy relaxing it sounds like an awful amount of effort. When you move your lazy @ss and do it, you feel better every time.

Perhaps I am stewing, but I do like to review my situation after success and failure, it always helps me learn. I believe the term for her is "emotionally unavailable."

Spending some time getting my life straight and getting out there. Have an event tonight, wish me luck