Silence and distance....even if its your own fault?

[Designer Man]

Ok, update

Didn't talk to her at all yesterday. She text me this morning asking if I'm ok. I said yes and asked if we can talk.

We spoke on the phone like nothing had happened and she has asked me to move back in with her from next month but said we need to sit down first and discuss the financial side of it and how much it'll cost me. I said ok and said I'll do my share of the housework and stuff.

Seems a fast turnaround. I hope she isn't just asking me back to help ease the financial burden. I hope it's for real reasons.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ok, update

Didn't talk to her at all yesterday. She text me this morning asking if I'm ok. I said yes and asked if we can talk.

We spoke on the phone like nothing had happened and she has asked me to move back in with her from next month but said we need to sit down first and discuss the financial side of it and how much it'll cost me. I said ok and said I'll do my share of the housework and stuff.

Seems a fast turnaround. I hope she isn't just asking me back to help ease the financial burden. I hope it's for real reasons.

Financial assistance. I think you should've been fvcking and spending time together first.

 

[Designer Man]

Financial assistance. I think you should've been fvcking and spending time together first.

We used to live together four months ago for 2 years. Before that we met up and done all the fcking and spending time together. I moved out because I didn't do my fair share around the house. Lesson learnt now.

I just hope she's doing it for proper reasons though

 

[mrgoodstuff]

We used to live together four months ago for 2 years. Before that we met up and done all the fcking and spending time together. I moved out because I didn't do my fair share around the house. Lesson learnt now.

I just hope she's doing it for proper reasons though

Okay. Your good if you pick up chores and your sex and affection needs are met. So yeah the last time was your fault. Sometimes they like having YOU in there in particular. All I ask is you fvck her good and fvck her azz to sleep. Be a little more responsible, you don't have to pay full bills so both you help each other.

 

[Designer Man]

My mood has completely lifted. Feel on a massive high right now. Am I doing the right thing? I think so. It's not gonna be a walk in the park but cohabiting is not straightforward. I promise I'm not gonna argue, I've been given a final chance to put things right

 

[Designer Man]

Okay. Your good if you pick up chores and your sex and affection needs are met. So yeah the last time was your fault. Sometimes they like having YOU in there in particular. All I ask is you fvck her good and fvck her azz to sleep. Be a little more responsible, you don't have to pay full bills so both you help each other.

Yea we're talking a 60/40 split with me being the 60. It's because there are outstanding electric bills from last year when I lived there or something and I wasn't paying enough.

As long as she puts the effort in as well. I don't want to be feeling miserable again like I did last time.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My mood has completely lifted. Feel on a massive high right now. Am I doing the right thing? I think so. It's not gonna be a walk in the park but cohabiting is not straightforward. I promise I'm not gonna argue, I've been given a final chance to put things right

Stay on your purpose outside the of the house. Manage enough time for chores and relationship stuff. But definitely have passion outs her. Like spaz says our self improvement is our full time job and women our part time.

 

[Designer Man]

Also, I'm not acting completely beta here am I?

 

[Designer Man]

Stay on your purpose outside the of the house. Manage enough time for chores and relationship stuff. But definitely have passion outs her. Like spaz says our self improvement is our full time job and women our part time.

Still make time for friends and stuff?

I've just been sent this photo from my recent vacation. Puts me on a high just looking at it

 

[sazc]

I say inside of six months she will get mad at you for ome reason and you are going to hear "get out of MY place! LEAVE! NOW!"

 

[Designer Man]

I say inside of six months she will get mad at you for ome reason and you are going to hear "get out of MY place! LEAVE! NOW!"

Even if things are going well?

 

[Designer Man]

Stay on your purpose outside the of the house. Manage enough time for chores and relationship stuff. But definitely have passion outs her. Like spaz says our self improvement is our full time job and women our part time.

Yes I agree. I'm gonna keep pushing hard in my career and working my arse off. Make time for friends more often and keep hitting the gym.

 

[sazc]

I say inside of six months she will get mad at you for some reason and you are going to hear "get out of MY place! LEAVE! NOW!"

Even if things are going well?

did you actually read what I said?
YES, she cant even admit when she's wrong, how in the world is it ever going to 'work out' bettween you two?

What's going to happen is that you are going to put your foot down, call her on some sh1t, and she's going to get so 'mad' (flustered) that she is going to order you out.

I'd say 'make sure you are on the lease so she cant arbitrarily order you out' but when things turn super ugly, you are going to need an out.

Have fun!

 

[Designer Man]

did you actually read what I said?
YES, she cant even admit when she's wrong, how in the world is it ever going to 'work out' bettween you two?

What's going to happen is that you are going to put your foot down, call her on some sh1t, and she's going to get so 'mad' (flustered) that she is going to order you out.

I'd say 'make sure you are on the lease so she cant arbitrarily order you out' but when things turn super ugly, you are going to need an out.

Have fun!

Appreciate the advice but I don't think she would be that irrational. I hope you're wrong but we will see.

 

[sazc]

keep us updated, i have a feeling this is going to be good reading

 

[Designer Man]

keep us updated, i have a feeling this is going to be good reading

After reading and learning on this forum, I feel equipped to go back there positive and not slip into the needy insecure behaviour that cost me. I will return as the oak tree not phased by anything and will do my best to help out as long as she also puts the effort in with me. I have 3 weeks to make the knowledge stick and not let anything get to me.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Still make time for friends and stuff?

I've just been sent this photo from my recent vacation. Puts me on a high just looking at it

View attachment 1557

That's living

 

[sazc]

After reading and learning on this forum, I feel equipped to go back there positive and not slip into the needy insecure behaviour that cost me. I will return as the oak tree not phased by anything and will do my best to help out as long as she also puts the effort in with me. I have 3 weeks to make the knowledge stick and not let anything get to me.

I would put off moving in for 4 months but continue dating. Cite this recent situation as the reason, and the fact that you want to make sure you are both ready for what you are about to take on. If she had any thought that she had you under her thumb, saying that will kill it. If she gets angry, well then, you have another type of valuable answer

 

[Designer Man]

I would put off moving in for 4 months but continue dating. Cite this recent situation as the reason, and the fact that you want to make sure you are both ready for what you are about to take on. If she had any thought that she had you under her thumb, saying that will kill it. If she gets angry, well then, you have another type of valuable answer

We did discuss it on vacation and I asked her if it was to help alleviate her burden and she said no, don't be stupid.

 

[sazc]

We did discuss it on vacation and I asked her if it was to help alleviate her burden and she said no, don't be stupid.

of course it is to alleviate her burden! Has she been acting like a loving partner lately? No. Dont you want to shack up with someone who is loving? Someone you dont have to question "is this for financial reasons?"