Signs of women cheating?

[Aenigma]

1. If she has a pulse

AND

2. She has a vagina

Tht reminds me of this joke:

Q: How do you tell if a woman is lying?

A: She opens he mouth.

 

[mikeraw]

UPDATE ON WHY I STARTED THIS THREAD.

Yup, the b!tch was cheating. Showed up to her house last night being extra friendly... expressed a desire and a commitment to hang out with her more often, etc...

Went out for nice, innocent fun with her nephew who she was babysitting then we went back to her place. I grabbed her phone and looked at outgoing messages from the time I started suspecting and sure enough, she'd been texting this ex BF of hers... He was in town about two weeks ago and there was no doubt in my mind that he was here cuz one of the text mssgs read "there's leftover Thai in the fridge door. It's a couple of days old but it should be OK". I checked my calendar and thought back, and sure enough, Thai night was the a couple of days before that text.

And I remember that night perfectly. That's when my suspicions began. We were having Thai watching TV at her house and drinking beer... she got a call and took it about 15 ft away from me, she made eye contact with me, then started talking loudly about just watching a movie with a friend.

When the movie was about to end, she mentioned that she might have to go into the lab to check on some cultures (some biochemist techno-speak, i dunno...) Then after that night it was late nights at the lab every night for the past 2 weeks.

All the signs that the above posters mentioned were there:

Reduced number of phone calls
Would not text or return calls in a prompt fashion
Reduced sex
Late nights at work
Fark! Even the sexy new underwear

The last couple of weeks were very good to me in terms of conquests. An old friend was in town and we were partying like rock stars every night. I hooked up with 3 chicks in that persiod... Yeah, yeah... taste of my own medicine and very hypocritical on my part, but there's a double standard and whatever, I cover my tracks very well...

Anyways, so I found those text messages and asked if she'd been seeing someone... she denied everything, looking in my eyes, sincere looks, watery eyes, cuddling with me, etc...

Whahtever... we had sex one last time, then I pretended like I couldn't sleep and went to the living room to read a book... My intention was to continue checking her phone but she too came out and started reading with me on the couch. It was actually a pretty cool moment, naked chick, silent reading, etc... Whatever, we talked for a while, went back to bed and we talked in the dark... She admitted that an ex had been calling her but that it was 5 months ago and he didn't anymore... I asked the name, she gave it...

Next morning, I woke up and she was coloring a book with her nephew. I stayed in her room going through her phone, once there was no doubt in my head, I got dressed, went to the living room and asked non-chalantly about the name of the Thai place and the dish she ordered... She replied with the exact name of the dish she had texted her ex and I said BYE to the nephew in a very polite and composed manner... Then I shook her hand half assed and she got a "WTF?" look on her face... at that moment I told her:

"Sweetie, sorry, but I went through your phone. Good bye"

She just sat there with her mouth open and turned bright red.

"What could you possible have found on my phone?", she protested.

And as I walked towards the door I just said, "I dunno... something about Thai food in the fridge door. Good bye"

Strange thing is that you guys asked about what LED to the cheating. I honestly cannot pinpoint it. I am a badass and a very polite and educated person. Everything was fine and dandy until I started getting suspicious... and even then, I always acted normal...

Whatever, some girls are just beeatches... I have several girls that I'm doing on the side, but I was going to get formal with this one. I hope that after a few beers tonite I get enough sexual drive to fark one to get over her quick. Right now I'm still in a state of shock.

 

[GuanYu]

Hey man, sorry to hear that what you suspected came to fruition. Some women just aren't meant to be in an LTR. Don't dwell on it too much though, you made the right decision to move on. Whether or not she was getting it on with her ex is irrelevant. Apparently they were at the very least hanging out at her place which is unacceptable. You're one strong dude to be able to end it like that, but there isn't any other way to handle that situation.

I'm not going to give you a motivating speech or anything, but I will say you're definitely on the right path to recovery. Meeting new women, sex is a great way to relieve yourself of this mess. Whatever you decide to do I hope things work out. No need to go back to this ex though she had it coming.

 

[st_99]

Hey, sorry about your situation. It sucks.

IMO, Ex's are the demise of many possibly good relationships. I think
most of us can identify with the possibility of an ex compromising our
new relationship. Sometimes its difficult to detach yourself completely with
an ex.

Thats why it will always be a risky move getting with a chic that just got
out of a LTR. Preferably you want a chic that has dated around for a couple
years AFTER her LTR breakup.

 

[mikeraw]

Well, I think it's obvious they got it on... Dude lives in Thailand and they'd been texting for 5 months... They used to live together in Seattle... that's besides the point... disrespect is disrespect. I may sound strong and all right now, but the truth is that my hands were shaking when I left her apartment...

I have at least one chick lines up tonite that I farked last sunday and I have zero interest in doing her... I think I'll have to do her out of principle, though! hahaha

 

[st_99]

Wait, dude friggin lives in thailand? So wtf, was he here visiting or something?

 

[Aenigma]

Bad move. You should have just kept your mouth shut and treated her like dirt from that point forword while you continued to use her as a f-toy.

 

[mikeraw]

Thought about the F toy move and I had already accepted the infedility, but honor and pride override everything at that point... at least in me... I was already developing feelings for this b!tch, so I was hurt... Hell, I think I'm still in the denial phase of heartbreak... The initial shock was horrible, but it hasn't been so bad for the last few hours.

I erased her from facebook and all my friends did the same thing. I'm going to ask if her number can be blocked from my phone line. What else can I do?

Yeah, so this dude lives in Thailand... some hippy mofo, I guess... Whatever, I don't even blame him that much, in the end, any interaction can be ended or avoided by the female...

Time to go to a family BBQ... she was supposed to come, too. Hahaha.

(I think I'm entering another phase of break-up: incoherency)

 

[The Logical Player]

edit: mikeraw - stop committing to these useless women, stop taking them seriously, and start just having fun with them and nothing BUT fun!

does everyone see my point yet?

STOP HAVING A GIRLFRIEND - there is aboslutely no benefit to commit to a woman who most likely will end up being a worthless sperm depository (well put DonS/KontrollerX).

You guys who keep posting about these issues, would not post about another problem again if you just played these women ABOVE the game, kept everything on your own terms, and NEVER take women and their commitments seriously, because women will likely end up changing their minds. If you know that its a likely thing to happen, then why get involved in the first place?

Look what happened to mikeraw

I love it when guys who disagree with me, point out that the men who end up with a b1tch for a girlfriend are a minority, and that it would never happen to them. Except, women worth commitment are the EXCEPTION, not the RULE in 21st century American dating. There is no benefit in taking a risk of wasting time committing to some girl who will end up being useless - all it does is waste your time and emotions.

I seriously do not know why NO ONE has come up with ONE good solid logical reason as to why someone should COMMIT to just ONE girl.

 

[Aenigma]

I seriously do not know why NO ONE has come up with ONE good solid logical reason as to why someone should COMMIT to just ONE girl.

I use to think that being "committed" on the guys end meant that the woman would reciprocate out of a sense loyalty.

That is not how the world works.

We truely live in a world where up is down. Left if gang bang and I love you is I slept with your best friend. We've been fed nothing but pretty lies.

The only thing that keeps a woman loyal, to any degree, is the amount of emotion she has toward you. The "commitment" you show towards he means nothing.

In actuality it will probably make her less loyal beause you will become less of a challenge and seen as less alpha. If anything having multiple girls will keep you on your toes because you're always ready to walk and call her on her **** at anytime.

The Alpha male jealousy female insecurity dynamic. Exploit it brothers- it makes the whoes want you more and ladies want to stay. It will get you more poon and respect then all the flowers and choclates in the world.

PS- the ladies are whoes at heart too- they just lie about it.

 

[COD]

Working a lot of overtime?
-Receiving hang up phone calls?
-Excessive use of the Internet/cell phone?
-Unaccountable Hours (gone too long) ?
- Hiding the phone/credit card bills?
- Password protected files?
- Questionable excuses?
- Decreased frequency of sex
- Denying accusations
- If they say “ I need my space”

-If they give long detailed explanations

-Frequently disappears and becomes unreachable by phone or email.

-If they hang out with “just a friend”, co-worker or an ex.


theres more in my book

 

[The Logical Player]

I use to think that being "committed" on the guys end meant that the woman would reciprocate out of a sense loyalty.

That is not how the world works.

We truely live in a world where up is down. Left if gang bang and I love you is I slept with your best friend. We've been fed nothing but pretty lies.

The only thing that keeps a woman loyal, to any degree, is the amount of emotion she has toward you. The "commitment" you show towards he means nothing.

In actuality it will probably make her less loyal beause you will become less of a challenge and seen as less alpha. If anything having multiple girls will keep you on your toes because you're always ready to walk and call her on her **** at anytime.

The Alpha male jealousy female insecurity dynamic. Exploit it brothers- it makes the whoes want you more and ladies want to stay. It will get you more poon and respect then all the flowers and choclates in the world.

PS- the ladies are whoes at heart too- they just lie about it.

bingo - you're making my point!

nobody cares about YOUR loyalty and commitment, not even your girlfriends. And I am not pulling this info out of my a$$ either, I am saying this because of personal experience AND because every guy I have ever known or read about on these forums, confirms that women, IN THE END, do not give a f*ck about you or your goddamn commitment.................and then what happens.............what happens??...................the don juan turns intoa p*ssy and comes on here posting about his problems, feeling bad, feeling confused and hurt that his "wa wa wa guuuurlfriend" is not acting right

**** THAT - be above the game, no girlfriend = no issues, its as simple as that, and I feel sorry for the men who can't grasp that logic

 

[darkstarrr]

bingo - you're making my point!

nobody cares about YOUR loyalty and commitment, not even your girlfriends. And I am not pulling this info out of my a$$ either, I am saying this because of personal experience AND because every guy I have ever known or read about on these forums, confirms that women, IN THE END, do not give a f*ck about you or your goddamn commitment.................and then what happens.............what happens??...................the don juan turns intoa p*ssy and comes on here posting about his problems, feeling bad, feeling confused and hurt that his "wa wa wa guuuurlfriend" is not acting right

**** THAT - be above the game, no girlfriend = no issues, its as simple as that, and I feel sorry for the men who can't grasp that logic

Much of what you speak is the truth but you are hijacking this thread, which is about signs of women cheating - you seem to be trying to turn it into a continuance of your ongoing theme. Not everything on the planet is defined in terms of how you see and experience it. Some people want a girlfriend and for some people that works for them (after they qualify them and/or if they are lucky enough to find one with values, etc).

 

[The Logical Player]

Much of what you speak is the truth but you are hijacking this thread, which is about signs of women cheating - you seem to be trying to turn it into a continuance of your ongoing theme. Not everything on the planet is defined in terms of how you see and experience it. Some people want a girlfriend and for some people that works for them (after they qualify them and/or if they are lucky enough to find one with values, etc).

it may seem I am hijacking this thread, but I want my message to be known, because it solves ALL problems that men have with women, including a guy posting about reasons why he is suspicious that his "girlfriend" is cheating

 

[darkstarrr]

it may seem I am hijacking this thread, but I want my message to be known, because it solves ALL problems that men have with women, including a guy posting about reasons why he is suspicious that his "girlfriend" is cheating

i'm not necesarily disagreeing with you. right now i am spinning 3 plates and in fact doing exactly what it is that you preach. however i am getting older bro and would like to have a kid that i can raise someday whom i can play catch with and raise as well as i can. i'll try as much as i can not to live vicariously through them. bottom line is as fucked up as things are in this country with the divorce and cook-rate - i will not convert wholly to the dark side in that i know eventually one of these broads is going to pass my shit tests and jump through my hoops and prove herself worthy of settling down with. perhaps that follows with your logic of not having a girlfriend unless and until you have decided to propose, etc..

learning the signs of women cheating will empower us to be more intuitive of our surroundings as we move forward in our lives and someday achieve the end above (and weed out/establish which ones to categorize as donkey punch candidates).

i believe the posters have hit the nail on the head regarding those signs so i don't have much else to add.

 

[mikeraw]

Hey Logical, chill the fark out... I both agree and disagree with you... Take it easy, dude...

I just got done farking this chick and I don't feel anything for that chick that I initiated this thread about... And to set the record straight, this chick that cheated on me started off as any other plate... as the others stopped demonstrating her high level of interest, they fell off the radar, but new ones always came up... This chick, however, was the only one that I was starting to develop feelings for... yeah, big mistake, but how can you farking control chemical reactions in your body? She was never my GF but the fact that she disrespected me in such a blatant manner and in such an obvious way (in hindsight) is what pisses me off...

Whatever, live and learn. 28 is not exactly 50. And you're younger than me, so shhhhh.

 

[backbreaker]

All those are tell-tale signs, but it's really a non-issue. If you're with a woman that is constantly showing low interest and disrespect, it shouldn't ever matter whether or not she's physically unfaithful.

There is a undue significance placed on cheating as a dealbreaker. Most men will agree that cheating justifies ending a relationship--what about all the stuff that leads up to the act of cheating?

Men that cheat will do it regardless of how happy they are in their current relationship. Women aren't like that--unless you've got a psycho (which is possible, don't get me wrong), her cheating is really just branch-swinging prematurely. In other words, she's already made up her mind that she doesn't want to be with you. A woman that truly values a relationship will not jeopardize its future by cheating.

If everything in your relationship is fine and dandy, you have no reason to watch for signs of infidelity. If things are bad, infidelity on her part is certainly possible, but it is STILL a waste of energy trying to catch her in the act. If you're to blame for her low interest, try to address the problem by acting less AFC. If she's to blame, dump her. Scrutinizing her behavior for signs of cheating is counterproductive to the goal of raising her interest level at best, and a pathetic way of clinging to a dead relationship because she "technically hasn't done anything wrong" at worst.

You can't really trust your gut to tell you that she's cheating, but you can trust your gut to tell you when something's amiss in your relationship. That's all you need to know, IMO.

Given the hypothetical choice, I would rather have a cheating girlfriend that nonetheless treated me like a king and showed me all the love and affection in the world than a disrespectful, disinterested, resentful yet faithful one. This choice will always remain hypothetical, however, because the first option doesn't exist.

this is the best post i've read in a very long time. good stuff

 

[Jeffst1980]

The way Mikeraw ended the relationship was perfect. No drawn out conversations, no second chances that turn into third chances--just a clean break. This is how you get yourself in the position to move on with your life right away--accept that it is over, inform her, then leave and don't look back.

The idea that "using" a women as an "F-toy" is some sort of revenge is completely absurd. How is continuing to waste precious hours of your life banging a girl that cheated on you "revenge"? Not to mention the fact that most guys that SAY they are "using" her as an f-toy wind up unable to cut the cord and get sucked back into a relationship and the same thing happens again.

There is no way to rationalize continuing to sleep with a woman that cheated on you. Not because it's an AFC thing to do, but because it prolongs the bad feelings of betrayal and inferiority you experienced as a result of the cheating. By combining those feelings with sex, it actually fetishizes them, making it even harder to walk away and giving her MORE power in this dysfunctional relationship.

I'm tired of seeing so many posters talk about "turning their emotions off" and advocate learning how to f girls without feeling any emotions, as if suddenly that will lead them to a state of personal nirvana. It's completely disingenuous advice--we have emotions for a reason. Unless you are a psychopath, you ARE going to feel some attachment to a girl that you care about, and that's a GOOD thing. It means you're human.

You don't want to control your emotions, you only want to control your REACTIONS to them. Mikeraw, as he himself mentioned, felt some very real emotions when he ended his relationship, but he didn't let them cloud his judgement. He didn't deny feeling bad about it--he acknowledged the feeling and then did what he needed to do. This is the mindset in which you must operate. When you repress natural emotions, you suffer.

 

[Colossus]

Mikeraw--

Sorry to hear about that burn man. It happens, even to the best of us.

I think you handled it well, though. I don't necessarily agree with going through her phone, but sometimes when you're in that situation and your stomach is wrenched with those feelings, all bets are off and you have to confirm your suspicions.

Regardless of whether or not she was fvcking him, you were right to cut it clean and never speak to her again. That is the ONLY way to move on and remain somewhat dignified.

Also, and I'm sure you know this, you cant really be too p!ssed if you were banging other girls during this time. All's fair in love and war, as they say....

 

[mikeraw]

Just to get some closure on this matter, I'd like to thank those individuals that posted on this thread and PMed me... if I had stuck to my AFC way of thinking of a few years ago, I would've either ignored this situation or forgiven her when it did finally come out...

Lookingn back on my previous posts of a few years ago, I can objectively see my progress, not just as a DJ, but as a MAN... My only regret is that I didn't try to get to the bottom of this earlier, but then again, I was really partying busy with my friend from out of town and a few new chicks that had popped out.

If this had happened to me in the height of my AFC days, I would be completely devastated right now. It has now been 24 hours since I walked out her apartment. In that period I've gone through several emotional phases but not once have I let them affect my life too much. As a matter of fact, if anything, this whole situation inspired me from the moment I first got home:

1. A female friend of mine that works at the same engineering firm as the cheater's sister took me out to lunch that same day and offered to take any of her personal belongings and leave them on the sister's desk before she got there on MON morning. During lunch, I was specially flirty with all the waitresses and I could feel reciprocity.

2. My piano playing got noticeably more inspired, and not just heart-wrenching nocturnes by Chopin nor angry Beethoven sonatas, I'm talking about completely emotionally-neutral pieces like works by Haydn and Bach. (This has meaning if you're familiar with those composers)

3. I didn't take it easy for a single minute when I got home from the b!tch's house: I already mentioned lunch and piano, but that was before I spent a good 30 minutes on my treadmill and lifting some weights... I'm actually getting ready to go to the gym right now, then instead of my usual Sunday Funday pub crawl, I think I might go to the museum to see a Gengis Khan exhibit with a high-interest plate I'm spinning, but she's not gorgeous, so I might not get laid... Nah, who am I kidding, yeah, I will...

4. Last night, after recounting my situation to just a couple of friends (no need to annoy people with my pitty stories) and to a family gathering during a BBQ (obvious support from all parties and the inevitable discussion of women and commitment these days) I went out for a couple of drinks with a cousin of mine from Spain that I hadn't seen in 13 years. Even though it was cold and rainy, we managed to have an awesome time and I even picked up an extremely high IL chick and brought her home and did nasty things to her. I didn't even drink as much as I usually do!

I know that going through her phone was wrong and that I was also doing other chicks, but yes... love and war...

And Logical Player, don't get me wrong, I appreciate your advice, but your handle should be Angry Player, instead... I don't think everything is black and white in relationships but I am 100% in agreement that nice girls are the minority, even less so than what I had previously thought... If I thought that nice girls accounted for just 1% of the female population, I think this figure is now closer to 0.001%. It may seem like an extreme decrease, but considering this girl's positive attributes and the fact that she still couldn't control her true female nature makes me realize that even nice girls act on their impulses every once in a while.

Anyways, this got pretty drawn out. I think the logical evolution of a topic of this nature should be followed by a thread called "How do you get over girls?", so I'll do some research, and if I'm not able to find satisfactory answers, I'll start one with that name.

Good bye!