Signs of interest mean Jack

[lookyoung]

Hey Lookyoung,

My take on your situation is she might have had med-high IL in you.

However,

She may have had other irons in the fire. Probably one iron may have had a better rapport, history or IL with her.

Plans made the same night and she will flake.

Reverse situation. You are spinning plates and are talked into 2 commitments in one night. Which one do you take?

Double post

 

[lookyoung]

Hey Lookyoung,

My take on your situation is she might have had med-high IL in you.

However,

She may have had other irons in the fire. Probably one iron may have had a better rapport, history or IL with her.

Plans made the same night and she will flake.

Reverse situation. You are spinning plates and are talked into 2 commitments in one night. Which one do you take?

To be honest I think your right. She is probably seeing someone else and has a history with the guy. That is my gut feeling. I think she is probably using me as a Plan B. But this plan B is going to fvck her brains out. I am not going to pursue her anymore. If she wants she will make the call and ask me out. I find this girl very physically attractive.

I have a few plates I am spinning but I have a low interest in all of them to be honest. The one I had a high interest level in I dropped because the cvnt chose to work at a bar. I think its time for me to get a new batch of plates.

 

[guru1000]

I have a few plates I am spinning but I have a low interest in all of them to be honest. The one I had a high interest level in I dropped because the cvnt chose to work at a bar. I think its time for me to get a new batch of plates.

I wrote this thread a while back about how I lost appreciation for all my plates.

What I didn't realize was that I had low IL for all of them. I just kept them around to SPIN.

Two months ago, I unloaded all of them in one week and started fresh.

Today, I have a younger army of higher QUALITY plates. One of them is a potential LTR.

I have definitely learned to keep only women I have HIGH IL in. Otherwise, I am doing myself a disservice.

 

[edger]

What you thought you saw here as IL (and therefor ATTRACTION ) was merely her taking up an opportunity with you to get a blast of "feel good " chemicals flooding her brain.
Just like eating some sweet gooey chocolate desert until she burst.
Freakin' brain chemicals !! YOu gave her a truckload of what she wanted and she was satisfied -just the same as if she had eaten a huge bowl of chocolate fudge . Do you think that she wanted MORE the next day ?
Where and how did you leave her intrigued and wondering about you and HUNGRY for MORE of you - you did not .
You filled her up instead of giving her just an "appetizer", and then the only way for her to go is AWAY from you. She left the restaurant. Dinner over.

Jophil, if he gave her a "truckload" of chemicals, she should STILL be wanting it. Your take on Lookyoung's situation doesn't fly with me. If you give a woman a good feeling, the "butterflies" as we like to call it, she should be coming back for it. Isn't that what we address here?

My take is, she was playing games; pretending to be interested.

 

[STR8UP]

I am going to have to agree with you on this. I went out with a girl on a first date last week. Good looking 22 year old with huge tits. She was all over me all night, we were making out like highschool kids at the bar all night. I tried to get her to come over my place that same night and she said maybe next time. I thought the date went great and was really looking forward to getting to know her.... And guess what she ended up flaking for the 2nd date. She always had an excuse....

If a DJ seen our date and if you applied what was written in the bible on the date than there would be a 100% chance I would get a second date.

The ultimate interest level is when a girl sleeps with you. That is the ultimate IOI. 100 other IOI don't match up to that one.

This is why I no longer set "dates".

Before a chick has proven herself she doesn't get time to flake. She gets a call a few hours before I decide that I want to do something, and it's a yes or no proposition. None of this calling her up on Monday and making plans for Thursday bullsh!t. Unless a chick has proven IL, she is subject to a dozen outside influences that could potentially cause her to flake, and I don't have the time or the desire to deal with that.

And back on the subject of sex being the best IOI.....I posted awhile back about a woman's propensity to sleep with only one man at a time. I find it amusing that so many women will "let" you make out with them, play with their boobahs, and finger their pu$$ies but won't go all the way just because they are fukking or want to be fukking someone else more than they want to be fukking you.

 

[STR8UP]

My take is, she was playing games; pretending to be interested.

Nah....she was interested in him, but she is more interested in someone else.

High interest is trumped by higher interest.

 

[lookyoung]

My take is, she was playing games; pretending to be interested.

I highly doubt it. Her body language showed me she was interested. She was kissing me. Holding me with her head against my chest. I think there was some form of interest there.

Lets be realistic I probably am not her dream guy. If I was she would not have flaked in the first place. I think she has a moderate interest in me. Edger if I end up fvcking this braud you will be getting a PM from me. lol

 

[ketostix]

Jophil, if he gave her a "truckload" of chemicals, she should STILL be wanting it. Your take on Lookyoung's situation doesn't fly with me. If you give a woman a good feeling, the "butterflies" as we like to call it, she should be coming back for it. Isn't that what we address here?

My take is, she was playing games; pretending to be interested.

I think Jophil has a point. Women can be drawn into a situation with a guy and act happy and interested if he's entertaining enough or saying the right things. A female will pace your reality if your upbeat and expressive enough even if sh'e not that interested in you. She just mimicking you more than IOIing you though and it doesn't mean much. That's not faking interest per se. That's why I think it's generally good to be a little mysterious and a challenge as long as you don't go too far and seem aloof or disinterested.

 

[edger]

I highly doubt it. Her body language showed me she was interested. She was kissing me. Holding me with her head against my chest. I think there was some form of interest there.

You know how many times I've had that happen to me in the past too? It doesn't matter. Women will still do things like that even if they're not interested.

Edger if I end up fvcking this braud you will be getting a PM from me. lol

Hehe, I hope you do f*ck her.

 

[jophil28]

Jophil, if he gave her a "truckload" of chemicals, she should STILL be wanting it. Your take on Lookyoung's situation doesn't fly with me. If you give a woman a good feeling, the "butterflies" as we like to call it, she should be coming back for it. Isn't that what we address here?

My take is, she was playing games; pretending to be interested.

Whether it "flys" with you or not is irrelevant. The fact remains that she FLAKED on the second date, and that means that he had a 3 hour vertical fling with a chick who did not want anymore from him. Playing kissy face with women like this means zip. Did her qualify her? Did he establish himself as a worthy prize ? THis process takes several hours or more and it does not happen at a bar playing kissy face. I bet that he just "went for it " like a high schooler ( he admits as much ).
For her, the occasion was loaded with huge amounts of freely available validation and a trailer load of " good vibrations"..
Men naturally want to go all the way to sex as a conclusion, but women are commonly easily satisfied with the affection and validation that an event like this provides ( perhaps she was "on a break " from her regular B.f - maybe she was playing games as you said - this is just speculation ) who knows ?
.
Read a few more posts on this board ( and even go over to LS) and you will read frequent posts from guys like .." WE had such a great connection- why won't she return my calls ..?"
She does not return your calls boys probably because you gave her too MUCH on the first date and did not establish your value. You relied on PUA games of ATTRACTION only - PUA games have a short effective life- they are designed simply to get her naked in a few hours.

Several months ago STR*uP was struggling with this very phenomenon.
He wrote here , a few times, that initial attraction from the chick was high and then it plummeted and he was lost in bewilderment...the explanation is - too much IL and not enough VALUE. Women who are in "kissy touchy party mode" are rarely in the same mindset the next morning - 'buyer's remorse ' kicks in, or her 'slut barrier' is pulled firmly back in place, and regret has set in. Then, because she is a woman, her habitual response is to avoid any more possibly uncomfortable feelings and so she AVOIDS connecting with the person who "caused" it... the GUY.
THis is 'woman think' at it most immature and irrational. ... Hence she does not return your calls.

LIke David D says " Nobody ever said that women made sense ".

Hey Guru - you want to chime in here? You say it a whole lot better that me.

 

[appasionata]

Whether it "flys" with you or not is irrelevant. The fact remains that she FLAKED on the second date, and that means that he had a 3 hour vertical fling with a chick who did not want anymore from him. Playing kissy face with women like this means zip. Did her qualify her? Did he establish himself as a worthy prize ? THis process takes several hours or more and it does not happen at a bar playing kissy face. I bet that he just "went for it " like a high schooler ( he admits as much ).
For her, the occasion was loaded with huge amounts of freely available validation and a trailer load of " good vibrations"..
Men naturally want to go all the way to sex as a conclusion, but women are commonly easily satisfied with the affection and validation that an event like this provides ( perhaps she was "on a break " from her regular B.f - maybe she was playing games as you said - this is just speculation ) who knows ?
.
Read a few more posts on this board ( and even go over to LS) and you will read frequent posts from guys like .." WE had such a great connection- why won't she return my calls ..?"
She does not return your calls boys probably because you gave her too MUCH on the first date and did not establish your value. You relied on PUA games of ATTACTION only -

Several months ago STR*uP was struggling with this very phenomenon.
He wrote here , a few times, that initial attraction from the chick was high and then it plummeted and he was lost in bewilderment...the explanation is - too much IL and not enough VALUE. Women who are in "kissy touchy party mode" are rarely in the same mindset the next morning - 'buyer's remorse ' kicks in or she sobers up and regrets her flirty behavior or her slutty type actions and, because she is a woman, her habitual response is to just AVOID the guy from then on. Hence she does not return your calls.

LIke David D says " Nobody ever said that women made sense ".

Hey Guru - you want to chime in here? You say it a whole lot better that me.

Another Great post. Okay, I am getting confused though, what about the opposite extreme? What happens if there's too much VALUE and not enough IL in the first date for example ?

The extremes are a very good way to look at a problem ( any problem) because you always know that you are somewhere in between in a real life situation.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Another Great post. Okay, I am getting confused though, what about the opposite extreme? What happens if there's too much VALUE and not enough IL in the first date for example ?

The extremes are a very good way to look at a problem ( any problem) because you always know that you are somewhere in between in a real life situation.

You can demonstrate value, but not generate attraction. If you have too much value, but do not get a high IL, you will be a "trusted friend" that she will confide in, and ask for advise from. Not necessarily a romantic partner.

 

[jophil28]

Another Great post. Okay, I am getting confused though, what about the opposite extreme? What happens if there's too much VALUE and not enough IL in the first date for example ?

The extremes are a very good way to look at a problem ( any problem) because you always know that you are somewhere in between in a real life situation.

Too much value and low IL ? Hmm- good question. I do not know the answer .. Latino ? You out there ? Interceptor ? Mr Me ? Guru ? Anyone have the answer?

 

[jophil28]

You can demonstrate value, but not generate attraction. If you have too much value, but do not get a high IL, you will be a "trusted friend" that she will confide in, and ask for advise from. Not necessarily a romantic partner.

Good answer .

High Value + Low IL = Respect and admiration but no nookie - ha !

 

[guru1000]

Good answer .

High Value + Low IL = Respect and admiration but no nookie - ha !

High Value + Low IL = Friend

High Value + High IL= Ideal

Low Value + High IL = Short Term (ONS)

Low Value + Low IL= "Have A Nice Day"

 

[guru1000]

Hey Jophil,

We forgot to add another element to the equation. The element most overlooked that is of cardinal importance to the dynamics at hand.

Rapport

I previously might have tied it into value, however I can see how one can have value without rapport.

This element is deserving of a thread on it's own.

 

[jophil28]

Hey Jophil,

We forgot to add another element to the equation. The element most overlooked that is of cardinal importance to the dynamics at hand.

Rapport

I previously might have tied it into value, however I can see how one can have value without rapport.

This element is deserving of a thread on it's own.

Go for it Guru- thread away - I am all ears .

 

[Señor Fingers]

In my experience this phenomena is due to a few things

1. Many women are NINJAS when it comes to concealing their interest. I've had girls confess crushes when I had absolutely no idea.. of course this could be due to...

2. Many men are completely CLUELESS when it comes to reading the subtle signs a woman throws out. One of the longest running threads on this forum is "Most Obvious Come-on that was Missed" for a reason. We either do not know how to read women, or we have such poor self-esteem that it doesn't even occur to us that they are getting wet over us.

3. Her situation changed. Either she left her boyfriend, or caught him with someone and wants to make him jealous, or she saw you getting lots of female attention and it sparked her "feelings"

It's crucial to understand that Interest level is one of those things that is constantly in flux. To try and fit it into a concrete measurement is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

 

[ketostix]

In my experience this phenomena is due to a few things

1. Many women are NINJAS when it comes to concealing their interest. I've had girls confess crushes when I had absolutely no idea.. of course this could be due to...

2. Many men are completely CLUELESS when it comes to reading the subtle signs a woman throws out. One of the longest running threads on this forum is "Most Obvious Come-on that was Missed" for a reason. We either do not know how to read women, or we have such poor self-esteem that it doesn't even occur to us that they are getting wet over us.

I think 2. is a good point, but not only are men oftentimes clueless to reading the subtle signs, due to 1. with women being so subtle men will misread the signs they receive. They will see a postive sign as IL when it could be her just playing the part. Usually if a girl you just recently met has real IL she will throw out some little tests and try to screen. If she acts too lovey dovey from the get go then I question her being genuine. This is the point I've tried to make to potato.

 

[jophil28]

. Usually if a girl you just recently met has real IL she will throw out some little tests and try to screen. If she acts too lovey dovey from the get go then I question her being genuine. This is the point I've tried to make to potato.

Good points Keto - My experience shows that that women who have genuine interest will ask probing questions about your personal life.

They typically say things like -
" Is SHE your girlfriend ?" ( If you are seen out with a plate by another plate)
" Do you live alone ?"
" Have you ever been married ?"
" Any children ?"
" You are a real Casanova aren't you ?"
I see questions like this ( there are probably 100's of them) as her being interested enough to open a dossier on you.
The trick is to evade answering her directly. This serves to amp up her IL even further - make fun of her questions. She is not entitled to any personal info about you until she has shown her worth.