Side Effects of Becoming a MAN

[The Jack]

So what are the side effects of becoming a man, well in my experience:
1) Boosting your testosterone level makes you look, feel and act like a man, but until you learn how to attract and seduce those ladies better start working overtime to add to that p0rn collecton!

2) All those ladies who just LJBF'd you in school and guys you knew now see you in a different light and will go out of their way to see who this new fun and interesting guy is. Pause to look at them when you mention that you used to goto school together and watch the look on their face. Priceless.

3) You totally re-evaluate the way you look at life and who you socialise with. Sadly I have lost contact with many of those that I was good mates with in school simply because they were not willing to make the effort to focus on themselves and become the man they'd always dreamt to be. Though for those mates that you do lose contact with you make a hundred more that walk your same path.

4) Remember all those ladies that you so desired in school. Take a look at them now. Funny how when you change your perception of yourself your perceptions of others change as well.

5) Your time here seems to have just gotten a whole lot shorter. Now where did those last few years go anyway?

6) Having 2 sisters was not so bad. I never realised how comfortable I was with girls until I looked back and saw that I had a huge advantage in my experience of women. Love you guys!

7) Removing yourself from your old environment removes any desire to revert to your old AFC self. Home just seems so dull and lifeless when theres a whole world out there. Heck, I even headed overseas!

8) Remeber how you used to sit at home envious of all your mates that were in a LTR. Well things change my friend, I just can't see myself with one person for an extended period of time while I'm so young. My nomadic, free spirited lifestyle and wanting to meet as many fun and interesting people as I can keeps me from committment (sorry ladies). Funny how they seem to pursue you more now.

9) It is always easier to ask to ask for forgiveness and get ehat you want in life and love, then to ask for permission. Can;t think where I heard this but damn this one got me into some trouble in my time. I can still hear my mother nagging "I can't believe you did that".

10) Take a look at the smirk/look of pride on you old mans face when he finds out from one of his work mates that you got with his exceptionally attractive daughter and shes but one of the many ladies who are lined up just waiting for you to ask them out.

Some side effects huh? Simply terrible...

 

[The Jack]

A Few Critical Points

A few points that I found CRITICAL in my journey to where I am today.
1) Isolation and Resentment Spawns Itself
2) Increased Testosterone Levels Is A Must
3) Mild Vanity Doesn't Make You A Pretty Boy
4) Becoming More Affectionate Doesn't Make You Gay
5) Learning To Dance Makes All The Difference

Isolation and Resentment Spawns Itself
I think its about time I returned something to this forum as it has taught me so much over the past year, give or take.

One thing I still look back and laugh at is that countless hours of wasting time and just existing in AFC life is actually what lead myself (along with a number of others as well I'm sure) to this board in the first place. So now it would seem that the tool for the intrvorterd AFC would now become the tool that would see the dealer deal you a new hand in life, a chance for a fresh start as a Don Juan. Very refelctive of life I would say, wouldn't you? That everything can be used in either a constructive or destructive way, its all in how you percieve it at the time.

But enough rambling. Stumbling across Allen Thompsons material and eventually seeing the big DJ neon sign in you mind that read:

GET A LIFE!!!

This alone was the kick in a$$ that I needed to improve the quality of my life and here are a few points that I have noticed on my journey to the aspiration of a DJ.

Increased Testosterone Levels Is A Must
Throwing off the shackles of the Androgenous wussy Nice Guy in denial, I hit the gyms and varied my diet, signed up for more adventurous sports/activities and took martial arts. After only a few months I'd have to say I has completely amazed at the change in such a short amount of time.

Hitting the gyms, eating the right foods and cutting back on all the junk food and soft drink completely changed the way I looked at my physical self in that I had never felt so good in my entire life! I had more energy, my body became toned and exercise classes (full of lovely ladies) in front of a mirror brung about the impression that, DAMN mate you are one sexc man! (in affirmation). I had a terrible slouch in my posture and I had never really noticed before. When uni holidays came and I caught up with some mates they all commented that I looked huge, that alone was enough to inspire. Though one thing to note is don't over do it a the gym, in moderation is all you need.

Being a bit of an adreniline junkie I went out and purchased a motocycle to fuel my life long ambition and thist for adreniline. I joined a local riding club and spent my weekends travelling the countryside and making new friends. Not to mention that this seriously raised my presence level amung the ladies, forcing me to learn to banish that evil introverted shy guy image that had haunted me for so long. Its one of the few situations that girls will actually open you, looking on in awe and admiration (hehe now it is too easy).

Joining a local martial arts class, my self confidence shot through the roof, learning how to spa, defend yourself and avoid fighting all together (Yeah I thought the same thing when I first started too). Arriving home and going to uni covered in bruises and the odd black eye was well worth it for the mindset it put me in. My work at the gym really helped here too and after a few months word would get back to me via some mates while out at a pub that I was someone who you didn't mess with, being able to fight and riding a bike. ME of all people, who was actually totally harmless and not one to be noticed before. It was then that I started to become aware of self perception through the image that you give off.

Mild Vanity Doesn't Make You A Pretty Boy
Taking a look in the mirror one morning and after spitting a mouthful of mouthwash over the mirror I thought to myself WTF!? I looked terrible and had never really noticed before.
In a flashing moment in which all the previous comments that people had made struck me down , hard. The most common observation people would make about me was that I continuously had a frown on my face (One thing to note was I was so nieve! I would have countless ladies that I had crushes on approach me to see if everything was ok, just because "I looked like I had something on my mind". Hind sights a b!itch, no? Though this technique works wonders now as an opener knowing that all women hate to see someone looking sad, hehe). So finally acknowledging this I set about rectifying the situation ASAP utilising the smiling exercises that I had found on this forum, got a more stylish haircut and made an effort every morning to trim that unsightly bum fluff ( the chin kind). Cunningly, I blamed my non existant acne problem whenever caught smiling at myself in the mirror!

I started to take more notice of the more fashonable guys (maybe the fact that everyone though I was gay explained this as I had no confidence when apporaching the ladies in those days, and as such recieved this label). I even got my sister and female friends who, when the dumbfounded look had cleared from their faces, agreed to help me outfit a new wardrobe. Though till this day I will NEVER understand this industry known as fashion.

Becoming More Affectionate Doesn't Make You Gay
I used to frown on any public affection. Ever flinch and think WTF are you doing!? when your father or friends would try to hug you or give you a pat on the back? I always did.
In hind sight it seemed so weird in those days. The only hugs I got were from my rellies, parents or my sisters, any of my or my sisters female friends soon learnt that an acknowledging glance was the best way to greet me. Now I'm one to greet anyone with a big warm embrace, even my best mates who I now consider as my brothers.

It took some time to adjust, being as introverted as I was, but at long last I had the social comfort I had long sought and now fully understand the weapon that is kino.

Learning To Dance Makes All The Difference
YOU WHHHAAAT? My friends said when I mentioned to them that I was taking dance classes. " Mate you're really starting to worry me" thay would say. But little did they know...

10 Weeks learning to Ballroom dance was THE best thing I ever did. I needed a way to get creative on my outings and banish that evil thought that always niggled in the back of my mind that sent me going home early by myself everytime we would hit the clubs.

"You can't dance, and you'd look so stupid, what will everyone think?"

These thoughts would run through your mind until you finally cracked and piked. Not any more. At a female friends Debuton Ball, my good mate that had made the comment now watched us elegantly glide around the dancefloor, looking on in awe and admiration. It was this night that I finally began understand the concepts of demonstrating value and social proof. The local hottie that I had been trying my luck with was there and jumped me after we had had dinner. To which I simple ignored here in true style. I was on fire that night, meeting up with this hottie later at a club still dressed in my penguin suit and hooking up with her that night. Later that encounter lead to a LTR too.

So for all you guys that have second thought about dancing, who gives a fcuk what anyone else thinks. I guarantee the guys will be looking on jelously and the ladies will be lining up for you to ask them to dance. A guy who can really dance is RARE, so become one.

Just a few personal observations.

 

[Mr. Blue]

... you wrote my words! when i read your post i really felt that a lot of us are out there, challenging the same things and WE ALL ARE progressing!

when you spoke of the fact that "you consider them as your brothers now" i feel the need to say that one should be aware that some of them might got another perception of your connection. face reality and you should avoid some dissapointments

and damn your right LEARN TO DANCE!!! if you are not into standard or pomp like that, go for some salsa dancing lessons... youll probaly find a lot of HBs there too that love to learn dancing with a fella like you


freedom and peace
a brother

 

[Oxide]

God damn, you are my long lost brother! Great points, and great attitude. come down to minnesota everyone, let's blow this **** up.

I've been slacking on the weights a bit after i got out of college, but it's time to go back.. in fact.. this time is now.

P.s. i ****ed up my shoulder doing military i think, now my left one hurts when i do anything at all (not weightlifting.) it has been like that for 4-5 weeks now, wht exercise can i still do (curls, i assume) and how fvcked up do u think it is?

 

[gav]

there's no way i'm going to get dance lessons. aren't they only for ballroom dancing anyway?

friday night in a club, i get fed up dancing the same stupid way for half an hour, so on the next trance song, i give my farmer dancing a bash (it's like bounce - kick - bounce - kick (or knee) + elbows raised as if i'm operating a pnuematic drill). i don't know if the responses were good, but just about everyone on the dance floor, which was pretty packed, was staring

note to self: don't take the piss out of the art of seduction

so basically, i'm sh!te at dancing, but i'm not gonna get lessons

 

[Oxide]

yes u will, farmer boy, yes you will..

or you could dance with your hand till you die.

 

[Lone_raider]

Learn to dance huh? I've thought in the past this might be a valuable skill as women seem to like dancing for whatever unknown reason. I've never danced in my entire life, jumping around at a punk concert yes, but real dancing no!

My mind really began to change on this topic just 5 short days ago. Someone in my family's birthday present was a set of tickets for the whole family to go see the Great High Mountain Tour (I'm not a huge fan of this music, but I went anyway for the experience). Anyway there was one really super hate babe who walked in and sat way the hell down in the front row, far away from me. At one point in the concert during a particularly speedy song, a random guy went over, grabbed her and started dancing with her right there! I thought, damn, now that was a good move. I wouldn't be able to pull that off cause I can't dance! Bet that kid got her number because of that feat, looked like she was really having fun.

OK, time to sign up for dance class

 

[Krassus]

Originally posted by gav
friday night in a club, i get fed up dancing the same stupid way for half an hour, so on the next trance song...

Hah, i hear ya! I've got a bigass mirror in my kitchen, and i found that blasting some trance tunes and dancing in front of it gives you a chance to learn some moves! I think i'll still end up taking dancing lessons next winter, but not ballroom, probably something a little more fun and upbeat

 

[Duke]

Goddamn, The Jack, those were some awesome posts! Truly inspirational! A bunch of your experiences mirrored mine such as the way people look at you differently once you take control of your life and your own image.

Btw, I want a motorcycle as well... always have. My mom and dad are against it, but once I'm out of the house and on my own income, they won't have much of a say will they?

The general gist I got from these posts was to say "fukk you" to everyone who tries to control your life or criticizes you and to guide your life in the direction that YOU want it to go.

Stick around, The Jack. The board could use more posters like you.

 

[Jippii]

I'm wondering what the "smiling exercises" you mention are?

I think they would be really useful for me...

 

[jakethasnake]

Truly wonderful post. I will be reading it again and again.

 

[DJBen]

Originally posted by Jippii
I'm wondering what the "smiling exercises" you mention are?

I think they would be really useful for me...

I'll second that... I briefly searched for a topic to do with smiling, but I've got no time to myself recently [how it should be, hey?] - anyone with good tips/a link would be a star

 

[Oxide]

Smiles. Here is some stuff i noticed - a lot of people, girls especially just LOVE to put up these forceful smiles when in the pictures. YOu can tell by the eyes/face that she isnt actually laughing..and those look retarded, so dont force a smile too hard, think of something funny before hand.

IF you are smiling, some people can go with full teeth touching teeth, but for me, cause i got braces on, that looks like too much metal.. so what i like to do is just smile with mouth open, that way metal doesnt show up, and it still looks good. See if this open mouth smile looks better on you than a full smile.

Sometimes you should smirk, not smile.. i do it when i see a girl checking me out.. but sometimes i smile to her, and sometimes i smirk, depending on the mood.. (Sometimes i just tell her to stop looking and come over )

I'd like to know more if anyone knows../

 

[EternalBachelor]

Great post. The frowning thing really hit home. People always comment on how serious I am, and often ask what is wrong when I am absolutely fine. Looking in the mirror, I find that I tend to frown when I think and my face tenses up, and I do this subconsicously and think all the time, so no wonder girls are wary around me.

Dancing is a great idea. Great way to meet lots of girls, and there are always more girls than guys. Plus all the kino helps you get used to the idea of physical touching. (Although the problem with salsa is that it requires a lot of self control in the nether regions!).

 

[The Jack]

Great to get some feedback guys.

Duke
Thanks for the compliment mate, you guys remind me of when I was just starting out. Young(er), naive and unsure of myself. All the more to you mate if you want to get a bike. Sometimes those closest to you just don't want to see you get hurt, but the experience is not one that can be denied. Especially when its a life long goal.

Its funny isn't it? That we all learn this instinct called seduction because fundamentally all women are the same, yet we men are no different! It is the same experiences and similarities that bind us together to aspire to a common goal.

<raises his voice>
"Gather round my bretheren as we all unite in our quest to challenge this game called LIFE!!!"

Jippii
In regard to the smiling exercises, try flicking through the tips section on the main Sosuave page. Its been a while and I can't think where they were hidden and I don't have time to search for the link at the moment, I'm a busy DJ after all.

But I assure you they are a treasure worth finding as they are fundamental to approaching not only women, but people in general. If you you change one thing about yourself in the next month, make it your SMILE and you will see your success increase 10 fold. Trust me, I know, I've been there.

jakethasnake
Ha thanks mate, I quite enjoy some of yous as well!

Guys against dancing

Learn to dance huh? I've thought in the past this might be a valuable skill as women seem to like dancing for whatever unknown reason. I've never danced in my entire life, jumping around at a punk concert yes, but real dancing no!

On another point, those of you who jumped in and said " I'm not learning to dance!" Or "Why bother?". Why indeed!

You guys seem a little younger and naive when it comes to dancing. I mean think about it for a moment.

What is dancing?

<pauses and goes "Hrmm">

I'll pull myself up there because I think I just got a topic for my next post. I will briefly say that dancing is a sensual act that strips a woman down to her essence in in its purest form, SEXUALITY. Just like adding fuel to her raging fire really.

Think about it. I'll keep you posted.

----------

I'd have to say I wasn't sure how to approach posting on this forum, which leads me to another point.

It doesn' t matter how many times you read through the material on this forum, it will never fully sink into that think skull of yours if you don't write it down! Do you think that all the great artists and musicians just kept their ideas in their head and magiaclly just did what they became renound for just by reciting it from memory? HELL NO! They spent countess hours trying to jot their ideas down on paper only to find that its was terrible and erratic as they scrunched up that piece of paper and hurled it into the bin a dozen, no a hundred times (minus the little basketball hoop over in the bin in those days) before they could finally sit back and say "Now I am done". As we all find in life:

"A brilliant idea in your head just doesn't seem so amazing when it comes to putting in down on paper AT FIRST. It takes ALOT of editing to get to the level that it was at when it was in your head".

So my advice to you is to write your ideas down and post them on this forum, even when you think they are irrelevant or stupid. Just do it in a tactful way and not "Oh I met this girl and she said this, what does this mean!?". I've spent countless hours getting sidetracked when I was looking for a particular topic, only to find something better that further answered my original question.

This also applies to what you want in life. Write it in the fridge, calander, bathroom mirror, whatever just make sure that you can see it everyday. Same for what you are learning here. It makes it a whole lot easier is you can jot down a few points and run through them in a scenario in your minds eye, rather than try and pull this material out on the fly while you're conversing with that lucky lady and come off looking like a total ass because your flow was very mechanical. Also don't memorise it word for word, basically get the gist of what is being said and intergrate it in to your personality in YOUR words.

Remeber guys, WRITE IT DOWN!!!

Over and out.