She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
To be honest, my shoulder even feels sore after the band work. It must be really effed up. Feels better overall though, if that makes sense.
Noooo. I've thought about it though, using really light weights. Maybe depending on what the exercise is.Have you started lifting yet?
Noooo. I've thought about it though, using really light weights. Maybe depending on what the exercise is.
I don't want to mess up my shoulder worse, but I can tell I've lost some muscle mass in my arms. Sux.
In my experience though, it comes back pretty quick. Some sort of muscle memory thing. I just doubt that I'm ever going to be able to lift what I used to.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Thought I would update this, and your remark here is spot on. If I rest my shoulder (or rehab it with the resistance bands), it seems to heal up. But as soon as I go back to a full weight program, it starts acting up again. And I'm not even trying to lift anywhere near what I did when I was younger, I'm just trying to stay toned. Awhile back, it got so bad that I literally could not lift my arm up past my shoulder. But it got better.from my experience, when you go back to heavy lifting, at some point it will flare up again.
Thought I would update this, and your remark here is spot on. If I rest my shoulder (or rehab it with the resistance bands), it seems to heal up. But as soon as I go back to a full weight program, it starts acting up again. And I'm not even trying to lift anywhere near what I did when I was younger, I'm just trying to stay toned. Awhile back, it got so bad that I literally could not lift my arm up past my shoulder. But it got better.
I hope it's going better for you, soulforge. I think I'm just going to have to deal with as a concession to aging. I've read that a lot of older people have shoulder problems, and that surgery is only 40% successful. I'm not willing to try that with those odds, at least not at this point. Apparently it's a very tricky area. It's just frustrating when you want to be lifting but your body can't hold up to it anymore. I'll just have to do what I can do and be satisfied with that.
I appreciate the encouraging words. I haven't really tried the hot packs yet so I'll give them a go.Even tho i am not lifting heavy, I am still making gains...
Keep up the good work man!
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.