sick of fantasizing

[calimartin]

I dunno about you guys, but I am becoming sick an tired of fantasizing.

It seems like I feel pretty down most of the day, but when I daydream I get this sudden rush of euphoria, only to come crashing down once my fantasizing is over. I just feel the whole thing has become such a distraction in my life... some call it dreaming, rather than fantasizing, but I do it about almost everything ... I dream about certain jobs / girls I want, but when I fail in those regards in the realworld I feel extra down. Sometimes when I am walking down the street I fantasize about being a ballplayer and winning the world series off HR; I don't think this is good for a 22 year old to think but then I rationalize it by saying what else should I think about walking down the street.

I wouldn't consider myself an optomist; I just think that my dreaming may interefere with actually acheiving the goal in hand, although if I didnt dream the way I did, I wouldn't have those goals in the first place. It is sort of a dilemma that I think a lot of people on this board can relate to. I wish sometimes I had no expectations so anything I got would make me feel better. Am I just a naturally sad person? I heard people can be generally happy or sad, maybe I am the latter.

Does anyone here have any tips to at least channel that fantasizing energy into something constructive? I would like to hear what you have to say...

Thanks,
newbie

 

[runnincircles]

First post, eh?

Read the bible yet?

 

[frivolousz21]

actually that is fine to fanasize if ur going to do something about it in the real world.

read the bible..set some goals and go after some real life dreams

 

[Life-Trainee]

You're dreaming in order to escape the sad reality of things. This originates perhaps from your lack of belief in your abilities. Don't dream about end results but HOW you're gonna accomplish them and back it up with ACTION.

 

[undesputable]

Originally posted by Life-Trainee
You're dreaming in order to escape the sad reality of things. This originates perhaps from your lack of belief in your abilities. Don't dream about end results but HOW you're gonna accomplish them and back it up with ACTION.

very nicely put

 

[calimartin]

Thanks ...

I am a newbie but I have read the bible before (although I think it is highly flawed/conflicting) ... but what I gathered is that your ability to attract people comes from within, thats why I have been trying to get my sh!t together and build up some self esteem.

I don't get girls that often, I have sex avg. like once every 6 months, and usually its when I am not trying hard to actually get the girl that this happens (does this make me a AFC or whatever? please tell me)

It just appears that everything in my life has been a dissapointment. I never got the girl I wanted, never got into the school I wanted or got the job I wanted. After any failure I am pretty good at moving on and setting updated goals. I.e when I didnt get into the school I wanted I had certain goals for the new school I got into in terms of girls, friends, academics, only to be dissapointed in that respect as well.

I don't ever doubt myself when it comes to my goals. Like when I was applying for certain jobs, I did not for once think that I was not qualified for the job, yet my peers were getting them and not me. It just gets me down that my perception of reality is so far detached from the reality of the real world; how can I be so wrong all the time?

Does anyone here have that feeling sometimes or no?

 

[calimartin]

Originally posted by Life-Trainee
You're dreaming in order to escape the sad reality of things. This originates perhaps from your lack of belief in your abilities. Don't dream about end results but HOW you're gonna accomplish them and back it up with ACTION.

When you say sad reality ... do you mean that my reality is objectively sad or that I view it as being sad? I don't think I view my situation as sad, its the dissapointment of my expectations that perpuates feelings of sadness, yet you say my dreaming is a result of me trying to espcae my sadness. If so that it a pretty f'ed up cycle.

 

[jason86]

i used to fantasize a lot when i was younger (about 12/13) about scoring goals and just being the best footballer about. I used to mainly fantasize during sleep coz there was basically nothing to think about during your sleep as a kid, so id just fantasize.

Man id actually sometimes act the scenes out in my house with an imaginary ball. I did everything, like the celebrations.. press interviews.

I was one crazy kid.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by calimartin
Does anyone here have any tips to at least channel that fantasizing energy into something constructive? I would like to hear what you have to say...

if you're sitting somewhere and you see an attractive girl. check her out, imagine her lips wrapped around your d!ck. whatever, just fantasize for a minute or two about her, while you scope the surroundings, and observe.

then, when you make eyecontact, and smile and approach, you are really in the zone to nail her. try it.

it helps to do this with a hb you are confident/comfortable you can definitely nail.