Shy. Unsociable. Unimaginative.

[sandinista]

Hey all.
I hate to come here & moan about my life, but.. well.. i'm really questioning my social skills latley.

I work in in factory right now (i need money & it's the only steady job i can find), & conversation wise, things aren't great.

I'm the one who doesn't talk much (mostly because some of the people there wont shut up & it's impossible to get a word in), & when someone asks me a question or i start a converstion.. it's usually dull & not imaginative or funny.

I've noticed that i'm like this in real life as well. When i meet new people, i'm not the barrel of laughs & fun i'd like to be.

When i go on dates with women it's the same. formal, mostly humorless chit chat with little imagination.

I don't want to be the quiet, prosaic type.

Is there any way i become more outgoing with my confidence / social skills? Any tips?

 

[Colossus]

First of all, do a search on this topic. There are truckloads of info about this on this site.

Secondly, I find that the quiet folks usually have the most to say. Dont worry about entertaining people or appearing interesting. Ask people about things that interest YOU. If you have nothing to say, then dont say anything. If youre like me, you probably have a cornucopia of thoughts and reflections stewing inside your brain all day... you just need to be stimulated enough to share your musings. Perhaps the problem isnt that YOU are boring, it's that the people you are talking to are boring.

 

[cave dweller]

talk.....

Hey,

People love to talk about themselves.

All you have to do is keep asking questions about them and things that they are interested in...

Got it?

cave dweller

 

[fivefingers]

women are *****es if u got money they like u

 

[Layla]

Originally posted by fivefingers
women are *****es if u got money they like u

NO.

-Start building your social skills one step at a time. First start talking to your friends and family more, then aquaintences, then random people/the people at your work. The more you talk the better. Read one of the conversation tips in the bible also.

 

[SchuhSohle]

Where do you think you stand? Is your attitude ok?
What about your self-esteem?

Listening properly is a lot more important than being able to talk non-stop.
I know a lot of natural entertainers and most people don't like them because they always talk and never listen.
Not all girls like to talk a lot though.

Just listen when others talk and at some point you will be able to talk about that stuff too.

Keep in mind: it is more important how you say something ...
it is less important what exactly you say.
My suggestion would be: find some good examples of likable people. Maybe in movies.
Try to learn from them. Gestures, facial expressions ... practice in front of a mirror.
I kinda did that and at some point I started to like my face ... most of my life I didn't even really know it.
It helped me with my self esteem.

 

[StringShredder]

Originally posted by fivefingers
women are *****es if u got money they like u

No, women who appear to like you if you have money actually don't like you. Believe it or not, they like ... money!

 

[Kidd]

The DJ bible has the info you need.