Shy/Scared Girls

[kody_starr]

I've been gaming this girl for a while and I'm on the verge of giving up. Seriously.

This girl is hot, and seems to be pretty mellow and friendly, around everyone else that is. Around me, she just can't handle it. She gets VERY nervous. She can't compose her sentences properly, she'll randomly walk off in the middle of a conversation, and often gets confused, or upset randomly.

I know her social skills are good, since I see her hanging out with other people and she's completely cool: smiling, happy, relaxed. She can be this way with me for a minute, then she'll randomly get upset or sad, or most likely nervous.

I've tried inviting her out to "study." She said: "I'm not good enough!" then she ran off. I literally slapped myself on the forehead. It doesn't get any more blatant than that. I'll try once again, but this is getting flat out painful.

 

[IKO69]

Well if that's what really happened i'd say maybe she likes you a little bit. She probably has her reasons for being that way, maybe something happened to her in the past that has made her put up a wall around her and be slow to trust.
Don't be mad at her, I'm sure she doesn't mean to do it and doesn't like it either but with these types you have to go slow to get them comfortable. They are usually good people.

Some girls that are of the shy quiet type are just terrified around being guys they like. I'm sure someone will back me up on this.

 

[pjtheman]

Good God next her my friend you sound like you're getting oneitis.

She's either doing it deliberatly to turn you off in her own weird way or just isn't worth it

 

[kody_starr]

What?!?

Well if that's what really happened

Some girls that are of the shy quiet type are just terrified around being guys they like. I'm sure someone will back me up on this.

 

[MisterMcGee]

A girl I used to like had those symptoms (randomness and nervousness). Turns out she simply wasn't into me but knew I was into her and it made her kinda uncomfortable.

 

[Teej]

A girl I used to like had those symptoms (randomness and nervousness). Turns out she simply wasn't into me but knew I was into her and it made her kinda uncomfortable.

But I don't think this is a rule. Also, if she's GENERALLY shy/nervous then I wouldn't draw any conclusions.

 

[ready123]

Some girls that are of the shy quiet type are just terrified around being guys they like. I'm sure someone will back me up on this.

I'll back you up

what's kinda funny is some of them will eventually autoreject themselves because of the pressure and then backwards rationalize it later. IE we didn't click

LOL

and the solution to this is to take yourself off that pedastal in her head by lowering your value. she overvalues and objectifies you to the point of paralysis. make yourself more human, more vulnerable, imperfect

 

[Heman6]

But I don't think this is a rule. Also, if she's GENERALLY shy/nervous then I wouldn't draw any conclusions.

correct. alot are shy around guys and then there are one's that are very shy in general.

i once met a girl who was like that. a cute one but the person that introduced me told me she was terribly shy/quiet and kept ot herself mostly. the one time i tried to approach her to talk that day i only got half way before she saw me and went the other way. and she kept her distance except for one time when i was talking to my sister and she came up behind her to scare her, unusual behavior for her that whole day.

i was gutted & thought she was rude as hell then i decided it was probably just her shyness since i never even talked to her or given her a reason to dislike me. and i know she's not a terrible person. not every girl is super confident and extroverted.

 

[Teej]

correct. alot are shy around guys and then there are one's that are very shy in general.

i once met a girl who was like that. a cute one but the person that introduced me told me she was terribly shy/quiet and kept ot herself mostly. the one time i tried to approach her to talk that day i only got half way before she saw me and went the other way. and she kept her distance except for one time when i was talking to my sister and she came up behind her to scare her, unusual behavior for her that whole day.

i was gutted & thought she was rude as hell then i decided it was probably just her shyness since i never even talked to her or given her a reason to dislike me. and i know she's not a terrible person. not every girl is super confident and extroverted.

I'm dealing with one at work and it's driving me a little nuts. She's super quiet and reserved, but not as much around other girls, I've noticed she loosens up around them a bit. Around guys it's a different story, but she's soooo cute so I keep trying. Generally she won't even say "hi" or "bye" unless someone says it first.
I've tried getting friendly with her repeatedly and I think I went about it the wrong way. I have kind of a macho personality and I tried to be funny/playful and assertive with her (like I am in general), stuff like telling her to "get out of my way" playfully in the lunch room. Well, she obviously didn't pick up on the tone and got intimidated and acted like she thought I was a huge prick. Great. So instead I started trying just being friendly and soft around her and basically a bit of a woman. Well, I could really tell she was more relaxed and even started saying "bye" and acting pretty normal. To me it seems like she's really insecure and just needs to be dealt with in a gentle way to feel validated like someone cares.
It threw me off because it's hard to imagine a chick so cute being so inconfident. I think some of them have weird hangups like their small boobs or whatever.