SHY=NO WOMEN.....heres why?

[Chaotixxx]

*bump* #1 / #2 sounds exactly how I used to be. You pretty much hit the nail on the head.

 

[crackers444]

I am quite shy, however I am starting to get over it. It depends on people around me. I am esp shy around girls and don't have much experience with girls! I haven't even kissed a girl. I have been on dates(if indeed that's what they were). I am a good looking guy, however my shyness is hindering my prgress with the opposite sex. I have met a girl online(internet gf) whom I really like.

 

[VashStampede]

To kill shyness the person must be "in the moment". Focus on whats happening in the PRESENT and forget about the past and future! Cut your inner dialogue off at all costs! Its your enemy!!!! dont listen to it, ignore it and bring your attention back to the present!!!! When you are consentrating on what is actually happening at the time you will be better equiped to deal with it! Much better than if you are planning in your head. Planning in your head is self sabotage because it creates false future and worries!!!!! If you find it hard to ignore your inner dialogue or find it hard to stay in the present and quiet your mind from talking, then you MUST concentrate on your senses to bring you back to the present. Listen to the sounds around you, pinch yourself and concentrate on the feeling, look around and actually SEE what you are looking at. Taste what you are eating/drinking! Concentrate on whats around you and whats going on at that exact moment. You will feel like you are highly alert.That will take you back to the PRESENT where you can be the best person that you can be. It will take some practise, but you can learn to be present all the time and cut your inner dialogue off or atleast ignore it and laugh at what its saying to you. Your inner dialogue is NOT your identity.

 

[Lord Shinra]

I found what helped me beat the shyness rap was something unorthodox, but it worked for me so I figured I'd share it.

One night, I looked at myself in the mirror ( I think it was a few days before I started the bootcamp, and almost a month before I became active on the forums), and I just stared into my own eyes. In my head, I was telling that voice inside that tells me that the girls dont want to talk to me to shut up, and continued that for a while, until I started the bootcamp and my shyness was broken down, alot.

Once that happened, I also found that I had less friends, but the true ones stuck around. So all around it was a good thing.

All in all, I'm just saying you have to confront yourself, or else you wont go anywhere.

 

[Nip/Tuck]

Get a job that forces you to talk to strangers. Easiest way to learn to socialize. A step up would be working where you have to talk to girls.

 

[reset]

Good post VashStampede.

 

[Chase12]

Actually i think some ppl are naturally quiet..reserved... think (i kno the OC is gay but this is a perfect example) Ryan from the oc... Shy is a different thing...I myself am kinda shy and i was one of those guys that just wanted to fit in, make everyone confortable, etc.

Now i am getting over it.. im slowly starting to just not give a **** about what ne1 thinks of me... stop asking for validation, stop trying to make people feel good.. but i doubt ill ever stop being kinda quiet, and the guy that just randomly talks to anyone and is "extroverted"