disfunktional
Don Juan
...do you find they constantly give off mixed signals? This one I am dating doesn't seem to be very consistent.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Shy girls...
- Thread starter disfunktional
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
*duh*
If they give you mixed signals then just kiss them. They will have the option of either rejecting you, or kissing you back.... either way, you will know if she is into you in the end.
P.S.: If a chick goes on a few dates with you and is willing to spend more and more time with you, she is generally into you. If she wasn’t, then she wouldn’t put any effort in... now would she?
I think that in future if you gave more information and background on your situation I/we would be able to help you out more.
Laterz...
If they give you mixed signals then just kiss them. They will have the option of either rejecting you, or kissing you back.... either way, you will know if she is into you in the end.
P.S.: If a chick goes on a few dates with you and is willing to spend more and more time with you, she is generally into you. If she wasn’t, then she wouldn’t put any effort in... now would she?
I think that in future if you gave more information and background on your situation I/we would be able to help you out more.
Laterz...
DJ Alejandro
Senior Don Juan
yes, youre the man. be the man and get up and kiss her already!!! that way, youll know. try the kiss test. works every time. [in knowing whether or not shes ready to be kissed].
disfunktional
Don Juan
Fair comment~ªêQµïTª$~ said:I think that in future if you gave more information and background on your situation I/we would be able to help you out more.
Oh we have kissed, had sex etc. I just find her a bit inconsistent with contact and how she comes across. Seems to be hot one minute and cold the next minute. Probably just a girl thing, huh? ask her...
There could be a million reasons for her doing this.... Maybe another man in her life? Maybe she gets caught up with work? Maybe she just uses you when she is in the mood for sexual pleasure? Maybe she is waiting for you to take things further with her (ask her out?) but you haven’t yet and she doesn’t know weather she should keep up hope or just find someone else? Maybe she just has mood swings randomly? Maybe her parents are giving her **** about seeing you? Maybe... Maybe.... Maybe...
... The best way to find out, is not to ask US this question, but rather ask HER this question. Ask her why she seems to sometimes be all affectionate and "hot" with you and then the next day she will be distant and cold towards you.... I'm sure you will get a solid answer from her
Laterz...
There could be a million reasons for her doing this.... Maybe another man in her life? Maybe she gets caught up with work? Maybe she just uses you when she is in the mood for sexual pleasure? Maybe she is waiting for you to take things further with her (ask her out?) but you haven’t yet and she doesn’t know weather she should keep up hope or just find someone else? Maybe she just has mood swings randomly? Maybe her parents are giving her **** about seeing you? Maybe... Maybe.... Maybe...
... The best way to find out, is not to ask US this question, but rather ask HER this question. Ask her why she seems to sometimes be all affectionate and "hot" with you and then the next day she will be distant and cold towards you.... I'm sure you will get a solid answer from her
Laterz...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
disfunktional
Don Juan
AeQu|TaS, good post my man, thanks. It just dawned on me I haven't actually 'asked her out'. She might think I am just messing around with her? But yeah, I will speak to her about it.
disfunktional
Don Juan
Haha, OK, well I mailed her to say lets meet up for coffee. So we went for coffee and I'm like "I like you and I want to go out with you". Then she started going on about "I think I have high expectations and I was really interested in the start but you haven't been paying me enough attention, you didn't text me on Sunday" (she came up to my place on the Saturday and spent the night, bear in mind I moved out of my flat Sunday too, which took all day). Also she was like "I was with my ex 11 years and I split up because I felt like I was always telling him what to do and what I needed".
So that is that. I think I played it like a DJ actually, I think I payed plenty of attention, and it wasnt like we were actually going out. Contact wise, I played it 50/50, which to me is the right way to be.
What do you reckon? Attention *****?
NEXT!
So that is that. I think I played it like a DJ actually, I think I payed plenty of attention, and it wasnt like we were actually going out. Contact wise, I played it 50/50, which to me is the right way to be.
What do you reckon? Attention *****?
NEXT!
hmm.. ok....
hmm... I think that what she was looking for was a responce similar to "Well if you need more attention from me, then you'll get it, and I"ll give it to you with pleasure, I was just not 100% sure if I should give you AS much attention because i wanted to know if you were into me as much as I am into you.... And I'm not your ex, You dont have to tell me things more than once"
That way she would melt in your arms, and you will get her, which is what you want, right?
Anyways, keep up the good work
Laterz...
hmm... I think that what she was looking for was a responce similar to "Well if you need more attention from me, then you'll get it, and I"ll give it to you with pleasure, I was just not 100% sure if I should give you AS much attention because i wanted to know if you were into me as much as I am into you.... And I'm not your ex, You dont have to tell me things more than once
" That way she would melt in your arms, and you will get her, which is what you want, right?
Anyways, keep up the good work
Laterz...
CaptainSausage
Don Juan
I HATE 'shy' girls.
I think they make out they're shy so that they don't have to commit anything and can lead you on a merry dance, then drop you for no reason.
I think they make out they're shy so that they don't have to commit anything and can lead you on a merry dance, then drop you for no reason.
disfunktional
Don Juan
Is that not going against DJ principles? Surely you shouldn't succumb to attention seeking from a woman?~ªêQµïTª$~ said:hmm... I think that what she was looking for was a responce similar to "Well if you need more attention from me, then you'll get it, and I"ll give it to you with pleasure, I was just not 100% sure if I should give you AS much attention because i wanted to know if you were into me as much as I am into you.... And I'm not your ex, You dont have to tell me things more than once
That way she would melt in your arms, and you will get her, which is what you want, right?
Anyways, keep up the good work
Laterz...
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
f*ck the DJ principles... They are there to guide us, not rule our lives. And I say tell them what they wanna hear... I mean.... why do what the DJ principles say and end up NEXTING her, when U can do what I say and have them come home with you?disfunktional said:
Half the stuff in the bible is bu;;sh!t in my opinion as well, but thats a different discussion... Its MY opinion, make of it what you want
Laterz...
While introvert/shy girls may take 50-100% more effort than an outgoing/extrovert girl, the fundamental principle in finding a good LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP is "What you have in common with each other" - This is the missing step in most DJ techniques/bible which focuses on "Can you get that girl."
My understanding through my dating history is that the more you have in common as well as intellectual compatibility with a particular girl with adequate attractiveness, the more likely you will have a good chance of having a relationship with her. I mean, can you imagine seeing a computer nerd dating a party girl? I'm not saying you should sell yourself short, but you should sell yourself realistically.
My understanding through my dating history is that the more you have in common as well as intellectual compatibility with a particular girl with adequate attractiveness, the more likely you will have a good chance of having a relationship with her. I mean, can you imagine seeing a computer nerd dating a party girl? I'm not saying you should sell yourself short, but you should sell yourself realistically.
disfunktional
Don Juan
Wise words, I agree. Standing back and looking at it now, although I was attracted to her, we didn't really have all that much in common, plus she was 7 years older than me, and nearly at the stage of settling down for a family and childern. What I should have done really is finished it myself. Maybe sometimes you get stuck on the attraction without thinking about it enough?Macgyver said:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.