Shy Girls

[Analyzeit]

Any tips??

 

[WCF]

Um, I'm not sure if I have tips for you, but I've been around many shy girls and I have to say, there's plenty of problems with 'em if your looking to hook up or something.

-They are usually very hesitant when it comes to hookups and relationships, especially the former.

-Your probably going to have to make/initiate every move. You know that philosophy around here, "make the girl chase you"? Doesn't seem to apply as much with shy girls.

-Related to the above note, I was with this shy girl before. She said she was interested in me (yeah right), but I had to initiate everything. At school, I would have to go to her; she would never come to me.

-Don't seem very big on flirting

-Because of their shyness and lack of flirting, it's hard to tell what their interest level for you is. When a shy girl comes out and says she likes me, it usually comes off as a surprise since she would never have shown any signs before.


Not trying to bring you down though! I personally go for the shy girls myself; there's just something cute about 'em. I guess the only tip I'd have for you, since I need plenty myself, is pretty obvious. Just get them out of their shell and work on that insecurity (that's the reason why they're shy in the first place, right?). Hang out with them, get comfortable so things don't get awkward. I said this in another thread I posted in... don't rely on technology to communicate! It's good, yeah, but it definitely makes it more difficult for a shy girl to open up in person when shes so used to reading what you type rather than hearing what you say.

 

[Samedi]

Just get them out of their shell and work on that insecurity (that's the reason why they're shy in the first place, right?).

Regarding this insecurity. Could you tell me what you mean by "work on that insecurity"? In what sense?

See my tip is not to ask too many questions. I went overboard and ended up coming across as a shrink. That's a no no. Also if she's insecure she'll run herself down and maybe say things about her appearance. Dont be a chump and tell her the opposite of what she's saying. Be careful. You wanna keep the attraction, but dont suck her ass just to get in her pants. She can say she's ugly and stuff, while your saying she's hot shyt. In the end chances are she'll still see herself as ugly, so you kinda waste your breath.

Don't go overboard on the confidence, as in ****y and loud. This can intimidate a shy girl. Be quietly confident. They sense it.

Lead! Yep you gotta make the decisions. This for me is probably my biggest weakness. When they say what do you wanna do, dont say "i dunno. You choose". Jeez, just walk and go to the nearest place, anything is better than saying "i dunno". Im still learning on that one. Dont go to the same place all the time, mix it up. They get excited just like other girls, just cause they're shy doesn't mean they like sitting in the corner of the room.

Don't stare, insecure shy girls will prob think your looking at there "flaws".
I found that giving compliments regards their features or body in general didn't do too well. It only brings them back to there own lack of self-esteem and unhappiness, even if it was a small compliment.

Well i was shy when i met a shy girl, so your showing a bit of vunerabilty and openess when your shy yourself. Without even opening your mouth, this can make them more relaxed because it's not so much awkwardness when it's silent, as your in the same boat. You can try the "shy" approach if your not shy yourself, see how that goes.

Less words, more touch. Worked for me untill i went more words, less touch haha. Killed the attraction dead after awhile, though i guess that's pretty obvious.

I agree with WCF, talking on msn or texting might seem like a good thing, but it can be counter-productive. Shy girls might say they don't like talking on the phone. Don't get drawn into lengthy convos over msn/text. Sure they can open up but your gonna end up in friendzone really quick. Make your real-time interaction fun and you need kino. Shy people aren't always big on words, so touching can do you far better. Hell if they open up and constantly talk, just listen but focus on the touching of hands or wrists, nod your head and smile.

I can only say what worked, or didn't work for me. And so i'd also like tips lol.

 

[lalahaha]

^what samedi says is true, its hard to talk to a shy girl unless she talks to you first, you need touching or action. in one of my english classes i always found it hard to talk to this shy girl, cause well you know... but some days we were playing hackeysack in the class for some reason and i was just playing one on one with her and she loved it... another day when there was a sub i got a bunch of people in class to play that coin flicking trick to see who lasts the longest and she played too and loved it...i didn't know how to take it from there, but whenever she sees me in the halls now i smile and she smiles back and its a nice feeling, i just didn't know how to further it, but its not with words lol

 

[WCF]

Regarding this insecurity. Could you tell me what you mean by "work on that insecurity"? In what sense?

Well I simply meant to make her feel comfortable with you. Shy girls on first dates are extremely nervous and insecure and have a hard time opening up. By "work on that insecurity," I just meant to work on getting her out of this state of mind. Even if this means a compliment here and there to get her out of that "unworthy" mindset.

Now I think compliments can be a double-edged sword here. I agree that sometimes, it's bad with shy girls. I've known girls who absolutely lock up at compliments; either they don't know how to react or they think your just full of it. This just makes it really awkward and sometimes they get creeped out.

On the other hand, some girls just thrive off of it (which is part of why you shouldn't overdo it). I know a girl who was always down in the dumps before, but in reality I thought she was pretty cute. I would let her know that she was pretty (subtely and non-creepy like) and her confidence would shoot up the roof. This is good for you since she might start opening up. This girl would never get guys asking her to dance before, but ever since I bestowed her with some confidence, she gets multiple guys every night, which should be good for you since it means shes opening up to guys. I mean, looks are very important to girls. When a girl thinks shes ugly, her confidence crashes and she becomes shy, right? Let her know she isn't ugly, and her confidence isn't so low and her shyness isn't so severe.

Perhaps what determines whether you get the latter or the former result is not the girl herself, but rather the way you compliment her. Direct compliments ("your really pretty") seem to result in her freezing up. More subtle methods of complimenting, such as the kino that Samedi mentioned or clever, indirect word play, are probably better ways that'll boost her confidence without creeping her out or placing her outside her comfort zone.