"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Shy Girlfriend - Kissing

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JohnRice

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Hey,

I have been dating a really fun girl for about 2 months whom wants things to be serious but is afraid to open up and get much beyond the snuggling/holding close. She has issues with kissing and if attempting to kiss her, she'll turn her head away, basically uncomfortable letting it happen. After having spoken to her about it, its relative to some trauma she went through, and even though we both communicated and such, she still remains uncomfortable with kissing/etc but seems to "want it" but is afraid of being open/vulnerable. Anyone have some suggestions, techniques or ways of communicating that may help her? If you have been in a similar situation with a Shy woman that you really cared about but had physical inhibitions, please share your experiences and positive ways of improving things.
Thanks.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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PuertoRican_Lover

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Don't be so serious and force her in an awkward situation. Do a fun activity with her and be playful, make her laugh and put her in a light mood...in this joyful state she'll be more open to your wooing advances and try a small quick peck on the lips and leave it at that. This opens up her curiosity...after this it'll be hard to get her off of you!
 
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JohnRice

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I'm taking things slow as you mentioned and not forcing her into anything awkward.

What you do say makes sense in the regards to getting her in a joyful mood and her being more willing to open up and such. However, a few times during such, I've made an attempt to do that and she turns away quickly and seems to go inwards. Is this something she is going to have to come forward with verbally when she is ready to move onward or would you suggest simply re-applying the above method again and hope for different results?
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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What is she, a 12 year old??

You'll see the sparkle in her eye - the sparkle is generally accompanied with a large smile and then you'll here a 'DING' (a bell sound).

If you don't see a sparkle and hear a 'DING' sound then don't go in! :)
 
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Trance

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Some years ago, a girl i was atacking was close to me, but would just light kissing, and be kinda embarassed and even try to turn away sometimes. Within a couple of weeks she was begging for it, she just got confortable cause i made her practice a lot with me, and she started to enjoy. Just make her want you ;)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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JohnRice

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When you said you made her practice a lot with you, what do you mean? You basically said to her, "We're going to practice kissing, so you get more comfortable. Sit accross from me, close your eyes.." - this is one of those techniques I asked about originally. Anyone have any insight here?
 
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