Shrugging off the player reputation

It's-Me

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Words been getting around I'm a player, hooking up and using girls hehe :cool:

I have been confronted by 2 girls I'm hitting on about this lately and some girls I met have told me they've heard my name...

What do you guys think would be the best way to respond to this and how to keep my rep on the low? I usually joke about it sarcastically telling them I'm gonna use them and leave them or something like that.
 

jeffthechef

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Never tell a girl you're using her or are going to use her in any manner, jokingly or seriously.

The tone of your first line makes you sounds like you're proud of being labeled a player and using girls.

Try to understand this...You can't shrug off a player reputation if you think you are a player. By thinking you are a player and enjoying the label, you will subconsciously and consciously exhibit player behaviors and present yourself as such.

Great that you're attracting ladies and having fun. But, you have to stop using them and stop telling them that you're using them. If you mean you guys are just ****buddies, that's fine. If she's fine with it, there's no problem. But by believing you're using girls, you'll develop a bad mentality. Girls will become sex objects, and the possibility of love gets further and further away.

Of course, you, like most of us, will not fall in love in high school. However, the skills, mindset, etc. that we develop in high school will progress in such a direction unless another force moves us in a new direction. If you're taking or have taken physics, it's Newton's first law of motion.

How to get rid of the reputation? Change the way you think about the girls you fck. Unless you been officially committing to a bunch of differnet girls. Then, you're ****ed for quite a while.

But if you've just been getting physical with lots of girls without any agreement of a relationship. Then, they should know you never promised commitment and exclusivity.

Anyways, good job with the success. But, for your benefit, start changing that mindset. :D
 

It's-Me

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jeffthechef said:
Never tell a girl you're using her or are going to use her in any manner, jokingly or seriously.

The tone of your first line makes you sounds like you're proud of being labeled a player and using girls.

Try to understand this...You can't shrug off a player reputation if you think you are a player. By thinking you are a player and enjoying the label, you will subconsciously and consciously exhibit player behaviors and present yourself as such.
With all honesty, I don't consider myself a player. My hook-ups are more one night things, usually at parties. I wouldn't have a problem being in a relationship... but most of these girls I hook up with, I don't have any interest in them, except physically.

jeffthechef said:
Great that you're attracting ladies and having fun. But, you have to stop using them and stop telling them that you're using them. If you mean you guys are just ****buddies, that's fine. If she's fine with it, there's no problem. But by believing you're using girls, you'll develop a bad mentality. Girls will become sex objects, and the possibility of love gets further and further away.

Of course, you, like most of us, will not fall in love in high school. However, the skills, mindset, etc. that we develop in high school will progress in such a direction unless another force moves us in a new direction. If you're taking or have taken physics, it's Newton's first law of motion.

How to get rid of the reputation? Change the way you think about the girls you fck. Unless you been officially committing to a bunch of differnet girls. Then, you're ****ed for quite a while.
Never committed to anything, everyone knows it's a one night.

jeffthechef said:
But if you've just been getting physical with lots of girls without any agreement of a relationship. Then, they should know you never promised commitment and exclusivity.

Anyways, good job with the success. But, for your benefit, start changing that mindset. :D
Thanks for the heads up bro :)
 

Fengshui

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Being seen as a player is actually a good thing. Why do you think reputatet players allways get more girls? :) If you´re confronted, never get on the defensive. You loose power if you get defencive. And you allways want to be the one in control. So keep your power and agree 100% with every accusation they make. Just say "shure... whatever" like it´s no big deal. If you don´t care, they wont care. The reason they confront you in the first place is to test your confidence. They confront you to shake you up and see if you loose your power. When you keep your power by not getting emotional about it, they get THAT much more attracted to you. They secretly are attracted to you, and want to see what the deal (you) is all about. If they can shake you up emotionally by confronting you, you loose power and they loose interest because they can shake away your alphaness.
 

eaglez1177

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jeffthechef said:
Never tell a girl you're using her or are going to use her in any manner, jokingly or seriously.

The tone of your first line makes you sounds like you're proud of being labeled a player and using girls.

Try to understand this...You can't shrug off a player reputation if you think you are a player. By thinking you are a player and enjoying the label, you will subconsciously and consciously exhibit player behaviors and present yourself as such.

Great that you're attracting ladies and having fun. But, you have to stop using them and stop telling them that you're using them. If you mean you guys are just ****buddies, that's fine. If she's fine with it, there's no problem. But by believing you're using girls, you'll develop a bad mentality. Girls will become sex objects, and the possibility of love gets further and further away.


Of course, you, like most of us, will not fall in love in high school. However, the skills, mindset, etc. that we develop in high school will progress in such a direction unless another force moves us in a new direction. If you're taking or have taken physics, it's Newton's first law of motion.

How to get rid of the reputation? Change the way you think about the girls you fck. Unless you been officially committing to a bunch of differnet girls. Then, you're ****ed for quite a while.

But if you've just been getting physical with lots of girls without any agreement of a relationship. Then, they should know you never promised commitment and exclusivity
.

Anyways, good job with the success. But, for your benefit, start changing that mindset. :D
Wow. Great fvcking post jeff, you hit the nail right on the head. This is all the advice youll need it's-me
 
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