"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Showing Indifference at Work

FutureSpartan

Senior Don Juan
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Im not a big fan of showing indifference or acting arrogant when im cold approaching women. For me, I WANT to be direct in conveying interest (not verbally "I wanna f*k) but more through me asking her questions about herself and assuming report. I want her to know Im interested in her without expressing it directly. I know if it doesnt work out, its fine cause I wont have to see her again.

I tried applying this strategy at work towards some of the girls. Keep in mind this is a restuarant so its nothing serious "dont **** where you eat" corporate stuff.

But it seemed that the more I was trying the whole "get to know you" dynamic with them, the more they seemed to take advantage of my openness. Some of them even started acting rude towards me, like if i made a playfull joke or somethin, they would get all b*tchy and just talk to someone else.

It got to a point where I got involved in some dumb drama over asking one of them out on a date. I thought I was dealing with overall nice girls but when it came down to it alot of them were actually quite snobbish and rude.

So I thought long and hard. These girls obviously could not appreciate the "good man" that DJ philosphy advocates. But I needed to figure out why because the "suave confident good man" is an attractive trait.

You had me and two other guys that tried to play the "good guy" the " suave male flirts" say hi to the girls, ask them stuff, flirt with them suggestively etc...basically being a DJ.

You had this other guy that got a kick out of insulting girls but coming off as a complete tool, he only did it to the hot girls working there, the girls he wanted obviously.

We also have the classic AFC working there that just loves talking to the girls and listening to them b*tch about their boyfriends.

And then you have the rest of the guys that generally tried to impress girls with their "witty" comebacks, bad jokes, and cheesy grins.

Wow...I thought. These girls are validated almost every second they are working (and outside of work) with some kind of male attention, no wonder they act like their sh*t dont stink!

So I just decided to let the indifferent ******* out in me. Not insult them or call them out like a b*tch. But play their smug attitudes right back at them. Just to see how they would react. I would ignore their bratty asses and treat them like the little girls they were.

Now keep in mind I only did this to the girls I felt were acting a little too haughty and arrogant (aka the hotter girls). I toned down my "flirtatiousness" but still kick backed and joked around with the nicer girls I worked with.

I did not say hi, how are you. I joked around with my other coworkers but when they tried to talk to me I either pretended I did not hear them or gave them short responses. Some of the stuff I responded borderlined into ******* territory but it was struck perfectly to make them look like idiots for what they said.

LOL...you should have seen the difference in their behavior. Where as before they were acting too comfortable around me, now I could feel they were clearly wondering what was going on. One of the girls made it a point to say excuse me, please, thank you, sorry everytime she asked for something, or would bump into me.

Another girl that I would always say hi and give hugs (she would give me those "im not interested" half-hugs in return) threw her arms around me and asked if i was having a bad day. She kept trying to talk to me but I pretended to not even hear her. It must have driven her crazy because at the end of the night she was trying so hard to get me to acknowledge her when i was talkin to other coworkers.

Lol....and another girl I must have caught her glancing at me 10 times where as before, when I was nice and considerate towards her she wouldnt even look in my direction.

I dont think they were attracted as much as they were intrigued. They were so used to getting validated at work by all the other guys. And here I was treating them like little immature school girls and everyone else like mature adults and they were trying so hard to regain my validation. I was unknowingly using group theory to my advantage.

Indifference works at the workplace because I think women know that guys will use that opportunity to flirt or get closer to them. When they see a guy that comes into work and doesnt pay any attention to them, they wonder.

what do you guys think??
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ValleyDJing

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
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Indifference is the most powerful force in the universe, cherish, use, and exploit that fact to get ahead! "He who cares the least, holds the power." I forget who said that, hell, might have been me for all I know.
 

mintxx

Senior Don Juan
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May 8, 2007
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acting odd gets old quick. but i guess it's a start
 
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