showing cards in a last ditch effort

[909pua]

do some of you DJs, if you want to get in their panties right away, after talking to an HB for weeks to see if she's interested in you before you waste anymore time moving on just talking w/o fvcking, just show your cards in a last ditch effort to see if they reciprocate?

There are 2 girls at my work, one of them, i kinda showed my cards today while she was working out on the treadmill, she just gave me the cold shoulder after she was showing me IOIs days before..and this other one, a trainer, has been asking me to take her 530 am class but I can't wake up because that is too damn early for me...i have flaked 4 times already..so i know she's getting less interested...

but do you think its a good idea for me just to show up one day and show my cards in a last ditch effort to take her out for drinks if she reciprocates?

 

[Igetit!]

do some of you DJs, if you want to get in their panties right away, after talking to an HB for weeks to see if she's interested in you before you waste anymore time moving on just talking w/o fvcking, just show your cards in a last ditch effort to see if they reciprocate?

This WHOLE MINDSET is off. Women know after 5 to 10 minutes whether or not they're interested in you. That being the case,what are you doing talking to them for weeks? And what in the world are you talking about all that time?

Last ditch effort? Man,you got this ALL WRONG. A last ditch effort is when everything you previously tried has failed. So what are these "other efforts" you've bombed with? What all did you do before this "last ditch effort" came into play?

If everything you tried has failed so far,then I doubt a "last ditch effort" will turn things around. Unless that effort is winning the lottery.

When you say "show your cards",what does that mean? And whatever it means,you should have done it when you first met her,not a few weeks down the line.

but do you think its a good idea for me just to show up one day and show my cards in a last ditch effort to take her out for drinks if she reciprocates?

Your best bet at winning a girl over is WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HER. You know why? Because like I said before,women will put you in the "friend" catergory or the "dating/possible dating catergory" after knowing you 5 to 10 minutes. If you "show your cards" when you first meet her,then YOU automatically put YOURSELF into the possible dating catergory.

She HAS NO CHOICE but to see you as a possible romantic interest,because YOU PUT IT in her mind. Don't leave it to her to do it. Do it yourself.

"Well,what if she rejects me?"


IT DOESN'T MATTER. You're STILL in the possible dating catergory.

It's still possible. But if SHE PUTS YOU into the "friend catergory",IT'S OVER.

She can't even entertain tha thought of something sexual with you.

This is a TRUE SAYING:Rejection is better than the friendzone.

I've had a girl reject me....TWICE,but because I put myself in the possible dating catergory from the getgo,then third time I asked her,she said yes. What happened was I was at a bowling alley minding my own business,and one time after I threw the ball,I looked up,and there she was...staring at me...just out of nowhere. So I walked up to her,I said,"So um..what's up? I mean I haven't changed my mind,I still want to see you".

Keep in mind,this was the THIRD TIME I had asked her out. She turned me down the previous two times because she had a boyfriend.

So when I told her I wanted to see her,you know what she said? She said,"ok".


That's it. Just flat out OK. No maybes,no "mights",No "I don't knows".

But it was because I repeatedly presented MYSELF as a romanitc interest FROM THE BEGINNING. I "showed my cards" the first time I ever spoke to her.

I didn't beat around the bush for 3 or 4 weeks,then decide to ask her out.

I did it from the beginning because that's when women form an opinion of you,in the first 5 to 10 minutes.

Go ahead and do whatever it is you plan on doing.

But the next time you run into a girl you like,"show your cards" in the 5 to 10 minute window where women make up their minds about you.

 

[909pua]

This WHOLE MINDSET is off. Women know after 5 to 10 minutes whether or not they're interested in you. That being the case,what are you doing talking to them for weeks? And what in the world are you talking about all that time?

Last ditch effort? Man,you got this ALL WRONG. A last ditch effort is when everything you previously tried has failed. So what are these "other efforts" you've bombed with? What all did you do before this "last ditch effort" came into play?

If everything you tried has failed so far,then I doubt a "last ditch effort" will turn things around. Unless that effort is winning the lottery.

When you say "show your cards",what does that mean? And whatever it means,you should have done it when you first met her,not a few weeks down the line.

Your best bet at winning a girl over is WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HER. You know why? Because like I said before,women will put you in the "friend" catergory or the "dating/possible dating catergory" after knowing you 5 to 10 minutes. If you "show your cards" when you first meet her,then YOU automatically put YOURSELF into the possible dating catergory.

She HAS NO CHOICE but to see you as a possible romantic interest,because YOU PUT IT in her mind. Don't leave it to her to do it. Do it yourself.

"Well,what if she rejects me?"


IT DOESN'T MATTER. You're STILL in the possible dating catergory.

It's still possible. But if SHE PUTS YOU into the "friend catergory",IT'S OVER.

She can't even entertain tha thought of something sexual with you.

This is a TRUE SAYING:Rejection is better than the friendzone.

I've had a girl reject me....TWICE,but because I put myself in the possible dating catergory from the getgo,then third time I asked her,she said yes. What happened was I was at a bowling alley minding my own business,and one time after I threw the ball,I looked up,and there she was...staring at me...just out of nowhere. So I walked up to her,I said,"So um..what's up? I mean I haven't changed my mind,I still want to see you".

Keep in mind,this was the THIRD TIME I had asked her out. She turned me down the previous two times because she had a boyfriend.

So when I told her I wanted to see her,you know what she said? She said,"ok".


That's it. Just flat out OK. No maybes,no "mights",No "I don't knows".

But it was because I repeatedly presented MYSELF as a romanitc interest FROM THE BEGINNING. I "showed my cards" the first time I ever spoke to her.

I didn't beat around the bush for 3 or 4 weeks,then decide to ask her out.

I did it from the beginning because that's when women form an opinion of you,in the first 5 to 10 minutes.

Go ahead and do whatever it is you plan on doing.

But the next time you run into a girl you like,"show your cards" in the 5 to 10 minute window where women make up their minds about you.

hey man thanks. i will try this.

 

[scrouds]

This is not poker, you don't have to hide your hand.

Well not the card game. In a way it is poke her.

Poke her, not poker.

 

[909pua]

i saw this girl in the gym today and we were choppin it up pretty good. i showed her that I am not in a friend category because the whole time i showed my cards and was flirting with her. She seemed to fall for my flirting, she continued talking to me. We talked all together for like 10 min. But she had to train other people so i let her go and do her work. At least she knows what Im about now.

 

[wachovia]

Igetit, that mentality is the reason so many guys here FAIL with women. “Women know after 5 to 10 minutes whether or not they're interested in you.” So in those couple of minutes they probably haven’t heard more than a couple sentences fly out of your mouth, they don’t know what your interests are, don’t know what your personality is like or even if you have any friends, yet they know whether they’re interested in dating you or not? Where are you getting this from? That’s a statistic one of those “gurus” pulled over your eyes. If that was true, every girl would be dating a guy that asked them out right away, without knowing anything about them, and in the real world this doesn’t happen. Take a look around. Most attractive women are dating guys they KNOW. By know I mean people in their social circle either from their work, university, through a friend or whatever. These are people they’ve interacted with. They’ve seen each others personalities multiple times over the span of weeks, months, whatever it might be, and this is the reason they are dating. They probably partied together with a bunch of friends too. The bottom line is there is a social connection somewhere. That’s a huge factor. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any cute girls I know that are going with a random guy who tried to get their number.

The best part about being in a social circle with a girl you’re interested in is that you have a much better opportunity to display who you are. You might be the coolest guy in the world, she can’t tell if you just rush up to her right away and force her to a decision about whether she likes you or not. Build it up through interacting with her and her friends, displaying what a cool guy you are and showing her the qualities of a guy she wants to date. You’re putting what she wants right under her nose and you can amplify this in so many different ways once you accomplish that. You could then cut back on how often you hang out with her, and maybe go with a different group for a while. If you were a cool guy to hang out with, she’s going to wonder where you are. All of a sudden she gets wind you’re hanging out with other girls and then the jealousy starts to kick in. The point here is you’ve established a social connection with this girl. She knows you’re a cool guy, one that’s being fun and cool around other girls. This is how you trigger emotion in women.

So the idea you have to approach her immediately and make your interest known right away is the wrong mindset. You can’t trigger a girls emotions if she doesn’t know you. A girl can’t feel jealousy for a guy she’s been talking to for an hour or two. She can’t feel oneitis for a guy she met 3 days ago. The proof is in the forum. There’s way too many flake reports, and the majority of them all have one thing in common – they didn’t really know the girl. They weren’t really able to establish any kind of feelings within her and this is the main reason for flaking. So you went up to her and flirted for a couple minutes. You think that’s going to solidify the deal? You think that’s going to make her cancel plans with her friends to hang out with you? No, that’s the reason it never goes anywhere. It’s the reason she doesn’t feel compelled to return your texts. She’s not losing anything, because she doesn’t know you. If it was as easy as going up to random hot girls and getting their number followed by a bunch of great dates, every guy would be doing it and this forum wouldn’t exist. Not only does it exist, but it’s the same guys posting the same problems over and over with the same premise to the situation.

I’m not throwing stones in a glass house, I used to have the same problems with girls. I used to follow the advice of the same gurus you guys did. The problem is they’re not good examples of how to interact with women. They’re whole philosophy is based around approaching random girls and force-feeding techniques in attempt to win that girl over. No - don’t try to tell me I have it wrong - it’s evident from the forum. Guys see a girl and the first thing that comes to their mind is “Okay, I have to get her number.” Never does it cross their mind that there are guys who interact with these girls on a regular basis that give a much more favorable impression than they do.

You’re never going to get anywhere running up to a girl and trying to get her number. It’s like going door-to-door and soliciting. You’ve established no connection with anyone. A conversation took place for a few minutes and you’re on your way. Nobody’s going to remember you. You’re on the outside looking in.

 

[Obey Propaganda]

awesome post wachovia. I agree completely.

 

[909pua]

i agree with all the posters in this thread. i think everyone has their own method of picking up girls. one can use the first 5 to 10 min method to make a girl like them and another one can do that social circle method. there are just many ways to get a girl to like you. with me, i think each girl is different. some use pure looks to like a guy at first and then they judge your character after that. i think you would just have to do more work if you dont have the looks. but if you have looks, it makes the situation way easier to a point where the girl's sh.t down there gets wet the minute they see you w/o you saying anything, as long as you seem cool and not some kind of rapist.

i have some close girl friends and they tell me stuff like this "i think that guy is cute, if he came up to me right now and talked to me i would give him my number"...you see the point here is that his looks came into her mind first.

 

[Ease]

Igetit, that mentality is the reason so many guys here FAIL with women. “Women know after 5 to 10 minutes whether or not they're interested in you.” So in those couple of minutes they probably haven’t heard more than a couple sentences fly out of your mouth, they don’t know what your interests are, don’t know what your personality is like or even if you have any friends, yet they know whether they’re interested in dating you or not? Where are you getting this from? That’s a statistic one of those “gurus” pulled over your eyes. If that was true, every girl would be dating a guy that asked them out right away, without knowing anything about them, and in the real world this doesn’t happen. Take a look around. Most attractive women are dating guys they KNOW. By know I mean people in their social circle either from their work, university, through a friend or whatever. These are people they’ve interacted with. They’ve seen each others personalities multiple times over the span of weeks, months, whatever it might be, and this is the reason they are dating. They probably partied together with a bunch of friends too. The bottom line is there is a social connection somewhere. That’s a huge factor. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any cute girls I know that are going with a random guy who tried to get their number.

The best part about being in a social circle with a girl you’re interested in is that you have a much better opportunity to display who you are. You might be the coolest guy in the world, she can’t tell if you just rush up to her right away and force her to a decision about whether she likes you or not. Build it up through interacting with her and her friends, displaying what a cool guy you are and showing her the qualities of a guy she wants to date. You’re putting what she wants right under her nose and you can amplify this in so many different ways once you accomplish that. You could then cut back on how often you hang out with her, and maybe go with a different group for a while. If you were a cool guy to hang out with, she’s going to wonder where you are. All of a sudden she gets wind you’re hanging out with other girls and then the jealousy starts to kick in. The point here is you’ve established a social connection with this girl. She knows you’re a cool guy, one that’s being fun and cool around other girls. This is how you trigger emotion in women.

So the idea you have to approach her immediately and make your interest known right away is the wrong mindset. You can’t trigger a girls emotions if she doesn’t know you. A girl can’t feel jealousy for a guy she’s been talking to for an hour or two. She can’t feel oneitis for a guy she met 3 days ago. The proof is in the forum. There’s way too many flake reports, and the majority of them all have one thing in common – they didn’t really know the girl. They weren’t really able to establish any kind of feelings within her and this is the main reason for flaking. So you went up to her and flirted for a couple minutes. You think that’s going to solidify the deal? You think that’s going to make her cancel plans with her friends to hang out with you? No, that’s the reason it never goes anywhere. It’s the reason she doesn’t feel compelled to return your texts. She’s not losing anything, because she doesn’t know you. If it was as easy as going up to random hot girls and getting their number followed by a bunch of great dates, every guy would be doing it and this forum wouldn’t exist. Not only does it exist, but it’s the same guys posting the same problems over and over with the same premise to the situation.

I’m not throwing stones in a glass house, I used to have the same problems with girls. I used to follow the advice of the same gurus you guys did. The problem is they’re not good examples of how to interact with women. They’re whole philosophy is based around approaching random girls and force-feeding techniques in attempt to win that girl over. No - don’t try to tell me I have it wrong - it’s evident from the forum. Guys see a girl and the first thing that comes to their mind is “Okay, I have to get her number.” Never does it cross their mind that there are guys who interact with these girls on a regular basis that give a much more favorable impression than they do.

You’re never going to get anywhere running up to a girl and trying to get her number. It’s like going door-to-door and soliciting. You’ve established no connection with anyone. A conversation took place for a few minutes and you’re on your way. Nobody’s going to remember you. You’re on the outside looking in.

Everything igetit said was good and everything you said i disagree with.

The main theme of your post, 'becoming friends while gaining interest', will not work.

 

[wachovia]

You don't get it and you never will.

Isn't it about time you sign up for a bootcamp?

 

[Ease]

You seem to think this forum is for people unsuccesful with women.

Are you saying approaching women doesnt work?

Trying to show the girl 'what a cool guy' you are goes against the whole principle. Your prizing her and jumping through hoops to get her attention. Your problem is creating attraction.

Btw, what you are describing 'wont work' is wat 'pick up artists' do. Do some research and read the book Game by Neil Strauss.

 

[Igetit!]

Igetit, that mentality is the reason so many guys here FAIL with women. “Women know after 5 to 10 minutes whether or not they're interested in you.”

Ok,let me correct that. Women know within the first 5 to 10 minutes whether they're attracted to you or not. That better? Although the way a man is attracted to a woman is different from the way a woman is attracted to a man,the rules of attraction are the same for both sexes. You can be attracted to a person,and not even know who they are. I know. I've been in my car driving down the street and seen a woman in a mini-skirt and high heels,walking on the sidewalk,and I was attracted to her.

Didn't know a thing about her. Her name,hobbies,etc. Didn't know any of that.
Didn't know even if she spoke english,but the way she moved in that short skirt completely turned me on.

It's the same way for women. She can be turned on to a guy and not know a thing about him. Then after talking to him and getting to know him,she'll realize that he's not what she thought he was,and she'll lose all attraction.

Happens all the time.

So in those couple of minutes they probably haven’t heard more than a couple sentences fly out of your mouth, they don’t know what your interests are, don’t know what your personality is like or even if you have any friends, yet they know whether they’re interested in dating you or not?

Interested in dating...probably not. Attracted? Yeah,most definately. You say that in those first 5 to 10 minutes,a woman doesn't know what your interests are,or what your personality is.

True,but what does that have to do with attraction? If I see a hot girl,I'm looking at her face and her body. You think I'm thinking about her interests,or if we have things in common?

If I see Pamela Anderson,you think I'm asking myself if we both like the same movies? Or if we both like pizza? Or if we both like the same flavor of ice cream? We're talking about sexual attraction here. What turns me on about a woman is her body,not if we both like root beer,or whatever.


It's the same for women. All she cares about is whether or not she feels sexual chemistry with you. That's it. And that's not determined by whether or not you two have similiar interests. It's not like if woman likes love stories,kittens,tennis,and classical music and a guy likes the same things,she automatically attracted to him.

It won't matter how many things they have in common,if he's not a MAN,if he's not strong,someone she can look up to and respect,she won't feel attraction for him.

If that was true, every girl would be dating a guy that asked them out right away, without knowing anything about them, and in the real world this doesn’t happen. Take a look around. Most attractive women are dating guys they KNOW. By know I mean people in their social circle either from their work, university, through a friend or whatever.

On the part I put in bold,I agree with you on that. However,there's still must have been some attraction present,otherwise the guy involved would be friendzoned. It's true that every girl doesn't go out with a guy who asks them out right away,but asking immediately GREATLY INCREASES your chances with her. By showing your interest as sson as possible,YOU FORCE HER to see you in a possible romantic light.

I'd rather take my chances by putting it in her head that I'm at least a dating candidate myself,instead of allowing her to choose where to put me.

This way,the friendzone is automatically ruled out.

She'll either have to accept a date with you,or reject you. To me,BOTH ARE BETTER than the friendzone.

They’ve seen each others personalities multiple times over the span of weeks, months, whatever it might be, and this is the reason they are dating. They probably partied together with a bunch of friends too. The bottom line is there is a social connection somewhere. That’s a huge factor. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any cute girls I know that are going with a random guy who tried to get their number.

This is why it's good that this forum has a many members,with different ideas and experiences. This thing you say about people dating within their social circle after knowing each other for weeks or months is foreign to me. I've always dated from girls I've approached,i.e. strangers.

To me,if you've known someone for weeks or months,then it's an automatic friendzone. Otherwise it wouldn't have taken so long to start dating in the first place.

The best part about being in a social circle with a girl you’re interested in is that you have a much better opportunity to display who you are. You might be the coolest guy in the world, she can’t tell if you just rush up to her right away and force her to a decision about whether she likes you or not.

Force her into a discussion? Umm,ok. Don't remember forcing her into some discussion,but forcing her to think of you as a possible romantic interest,yeah,I'm all for that.

I'd rather put it into her mind myself than hope she does it herself.

The point here is you’ve established a social connection with this girl. She knows you’re a cool guy, one that’s being fun and cool around other girls. This is how you trigger emotion in women.

That's not how I trigger their emotions. But hey,different strokes for different folks. If what you're doing is working for you,then keep at it.

You can’t trigger a girls emotions if she doesn’t know you.

WHAT???Dude,this is flat out hogwash.

Of course you can trigger a girl's emotions if she doesn't know you.

You know don't have to know someone for them to trigger emotions in you. Have you ever been cut off in traffic? Someone ever cut in line in from of you? Have you ever been driving and have a police car pull up behind you?

It's easy to trigger a girl's emotions. One emotion I use is anger. All it is is just passion in a different form. Make a girl angry,then while her emotions are stirred up,throw in a sexual inuendo.

I GUARANTEE you'll see a gleam in her eye.

No - don’t try to tell me I have it wrong -

I'm not telling you you're wrong. If you have the results you want,then you're doing something right. There's no one cut and dried method of attractiing women. I think there are different roads,but they all lead to the same place.

I think that everybody here has had sucesses and failures. Some people have been through things that others have not.

Like me,I used to be the MAYOR and the HEAD of COUNCIL of Let's Just Be Friendsville.

I STAYED IN THE FRIENDZONE. Took up residence there.

I got friendzoned so much that I could "sense" it starting to happen even before it came to pass,and I'm not joking about that,I'm serious.

Then I discovered what was going on. The solution was so simple,that I felt STUPID.

That was my experience. Perhaps you're is different.

All I can do is try to help and offer advice based on my history,and that will differ from other people.

It is what is it. If people find it helpful,then use it. If not,then discard it.

That's what I do.