"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Should you ever give wishy-washy flaky girls/guys a second chance?

PuffyPonny

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I recently had a guy that have flat out flaked out on me.Now, let me clarify here, because it would seem people have differing opinions on what they would consider to be a "flake."


A flake to me, is someone that makes plans with you. You set the date, time, etc....


Then, on the day of, the person VANISHES into thin air. When you attempt to call them, they do not pick up their phone, nor do they respond to texts, etc.

"no call, no show"

They may, or may not return days later, with an excuse about how they couldn't get back to you or worse they may talk to you like nothing had happened.

To break it down, This guy and I made plans to meet up when he gets off work the following day at 3pm ,he said he would call me set up where to meet .I texted me earlier that day and said "Hey" but he didn't respond. I thought he could be just busy at work so I didn't think anything out of it. Then 2:45 rolls around and still no word from him. I texted him again asking if we're still on to no avail . Then he texted me back hours later after the missed date ,at 9pm -he just said sorry something came up :(

Then he texted me 2days later again apologizing , asking how he can make it up to me. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt .He suggested plans to get together again,set the day but No time/location had been set, then he conveniently stopped responding to me before the date was set in stone.

I called him that morning on the day we were suppose to meet but he never answered. Hours passed ...still haven't heard from him, so I shoot him a text asking if we're still on,he responded few hours later and just said "lol"


That said, few days goes by goes by and he randomly texts me and said "hey" like nothing had happened.I ignored it ,f that, he's just wasting my time. In hindsight I wish I didn't give him a second chance after the first bail out.I can understand if the person calls beforehand to reschedule and not just leave me hanging-that's disrespectful

Should we ever give a flake a second chance? This behaviour doesn't change In my experience
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Tictac

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Ghosting is different from flaking. No show/no call is not just flaking.

For a flake, you may want to say something like 'let me know when your schedule is clear and maybe we'll get together'.

For ghosting? One and done.
 
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