taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
How do I get her to like me?
This question comes up a lot. Most guys have got their eye on some girl, have had a bit of success, and then she pulls back. He, on the other hand, is still pining furiously for her, and will do anything (or so he says) to get her to "like him."
Now, let's think about what happens when a girl "likes" a guy. It's pretty much a HUGE collection of unconscious processes that are a mix of ancient programming, childhood and cultural programming, as well as how and who she references within her social circle.
On a deep level, girls like guys who are leaders, who are self confident, genuinely kind, and have thick skin. The guy who can pretty much handle anything that comes up. Not the guy who shies away from a challenge. Not necessarily the guy who beats everybody up who challenges him, but the guy who KNOWS deep in his soul that any problem life gives him, he'll deal with to his advantage, AND usually everybody else's in one way or another.
On top of that, she's going to be turned on by a guy who "reminds her" on a deep level of when she was a kid, and she was referencing some strong male adult role models, usually (hopefully!) her father, or older brothers.
On top of that, she's going to be subconsciously referencing cultural icons, her peer group, who they like, and who they don't like, etc.
If that's not enough, she's also going to have a conscious idea of who'd she'd like to end up with.
If she can find a guy that hits her triggers on all four of these levels, she'll feel as though she's found her prince charming, and she'll literally follow him to the ends of the Earth.
You know in mathematics they can take this huge equation, and express one variable in terms of all the rest?
We can kind of do that here.
Instead of asking, "How can I get her to like me," you can also ask, "How can I become her prince charming, and hit her levels of attraction on levels?"
Most guys foolishly believe there's something they can say or do that will fit the bill.
Think of it this way. You're having a dinner party. You spend hours cooking something. Your friends come over, and they don't like the taste very much. They're being polite, but you can tell they think it sucks.
So you call your cooking guru on the phone. You ask him or her, "What can I tell them that will make them like my cooking?"
After your cooking guru gets done laughing, she or he might tell you to tell them to come back next week, after you cook something different.
Here is the cold harsh truth about dating. If a girl doesn't like you, there's not much you can do.
Of course, you should ALWAYS be improving yourself. Increasing your self confidence. Developing better and stronger beliefs. Developing your ability to create an awesome life for yourself.
But if one particular girl decides (on all four of those levels) that she doesn't like you?
It's best to simply find somebody else.
This question comes up a lot. Most guys have got their eye on some girl, have had a bit of success, and then she pulls back. He, on the other hand, is still pining furiously for her, and will do anything (or so he says) to get her to "like him."
Now, let's think about what happens when a girl "likes" a guy. It's pretty much a HUGE collection of unconscious processes that are a mix of ancient programming, childhood and cultural programming, as well as how and who she references within her social circle.
On a deep level, girls like guys who are leaders, who are self confident, genuinely kind, and have thick skin. The guy who can pretty much handle anything that comes up. Not the guy who shies away from a challenge. Not necessarily the guy who beats everybody up who challenges him, but the guy who KNOWS deep in his soul that any problem life gives him, he'll deal with to his advantage, AND usually everybody else's in one way or another.
On top of that, she's going to be turned on by a guy who "reminds her" on a deep level of when she was a kid, and she was referencing some strong male adult role models, usually (hopefully!) her father, or older brothers.
On top of that, she's going to be subconsciously referencing cultural icons, her peer group, who they like, and who they don't like, etc.
If that's not enough, she's also going to have a conscious idea of who'd she'd like to end up with.
If she can find a guy that hits her triggers on all four of these levels, she'll feel as though she's found her prince charming, and she'll literally follow him to the ends of the Earth.
You know in mathematics they can take this huge equation, and express one variable in terms of all the rest?
We can kind of do that here.
Instead of asking, "How can I get her to like me," you can also ask, "How can I become her prince charming, and hit her levels of attraction on levels?"
Most guys foolishly believe there's something they can say or do that will fit the bill.
Think of it this way. You're having a dinner party. You spend hours cooking something. Your friends come over, and they don't like the taste very much. They're being polite, but you can tell they think it sucks.
So you call your cooking guru on the phone. You ask him or her, "What can I tell them that will make them like my cooking?"
After your cooking guru gets done laughing, she or he might tell you to tell them to come back next week, after you cook something different.
Here is the cold harsh truth about dating. If a girl doesn't like you, there's not much you can do.
Of course, you should ALWAYS be improving yourself. Increasing your self confidence. Developing better and stronger beliefs. Developing your ability to create an awesome life for yourself.
But if one particular girl decides (on all four of those levels) that she doesn't like you?
It's best to simply find somebody else.
