"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Should you bother with a girl you messed up with before?

johnsmithB

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Two years ago before I had started to change my life around and better myself I really screwed up things with this girl I liked. She actually demonstrated high IL to start with, suggesting we hang out and going to movies etc which often she paid for.

At the time I was a clueless beta and I didn't make a move, it then became more of a friendship feel On her end based on weak behavior from me. I took the typical beta route of thinking that the more time we hung out the better etc.

Well you know the drill, suddenly she gets in a relationship with her other male friend. Then I demonstrated a bunch of weak jealous behaviour. We stopped talking and I hadn't spoke to her for 18 months.

I did a ton of self work in that time, losing weight changing my look, learning game etc.

Last week I reactivated my Facebook and updated my profile picture etc. The same night she messaged me.

Her: "Heeeeeey where have you been stranger"

Me: "Oh hey how are you, haven't been on Facebook for a bit, been busy

"I noticed! Looking good BTW ;-)"

"Thanks, so what have you been upto"

"Not much I changed jobs, things didn't work out with Andrew "

"Oh yeah, that sucks"

"We are still friends though. So we should catch up some time"

"Sounds good, I'm busy with work but I will let you know when I'm free"

"Sweeeeeet"



OK so here's the thing. I had oneitis for her and you can see from my responses that she still had an effect of throwing me off my game. Is it worth it to try again with a girl I screwed up with? Or do I keep away?

She has messaged me since a few times

Might be a stupid question but she's seen a lot of weak behaviour from me, pleading etc.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Leaf

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When you meet up with her, don't picture the next 10 years you want to spend with this chick. Simply focus on the night with the goal to escalate and push for sex. Make your intentions clear from the start.
 

Peña

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Good job on the new improvements.

I would usually say no, but since she messages you first it's a sign she likes the new you. Only thing is you need to be the new you when you hang out. Sometimes you can slip back into bad behavior when you're accustomed to someone. Forget about how you acted before and start out brand new. Women remember how you were from before, but when you make good improvements they like, they will come knocking on your door.
 

Meisterman

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Life's too short not to take any chances. Worst scenario she says no, then you're just back to where you were before you asked her. Go for it. You can't hit the ball without swinging the bat mate
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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