ManUnited01
Don Juan
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Should guys be the ones always making plans, asking girls out, calling/texting first in a relationship? I feel actions need to be reciprocated by women also. Your thoughts?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Should we be making all the effort?
- Thread starter ManUnited01
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Friendly Otter
Don Juan
Better get used to it!
Men are the ones courting women, because women instinctively want to see if a guy will work hard for her before she lets him impregnate her. If he is willing to make an effort and spend time and energy on her, he is more likely to stick around and care for her and her offspring.
So a woman doesn't want to give away the sex too easily. That's why there is romance, with flowers and chocolate and poetry in the moonlight or restaurant or the movies or ice skating or what have you; the woman is raising the cost of sex.
Now you may think men would be fed up with this, but men have an instinct to overcome obstacles; you know how fun it is to blast away the enemy in computer games, something few women find the same joy in. We want to overcome and conquer. So we can find some joy in the whole courting thing, aiming for the big prize. (As long as you get it often enough, that is!)
So it's gonna be a cold day in hell before the pattern changes and women start courting men in any large numbers....
However, don't worry: when you're both married, she is the one who will have to get things for you - like a beer from the fridge while there's a game on. Imagine many years of her faithful service, and the courting seems a small price to pay.
Men are the ones courting women, because women instinctively want to see if a guy will work hard for her before she lets him impregnate her. If he is willing to make an effort and spend time and energy on her, he is more likely to stick around and care for her and her offspring.
So a woman doesn't want to give away the sex too easily. That's why there is romance, with flowers and chocolate and poetry in the moonlight or restaurant or the movies or ice skating or what have you; the woman is raising the cost of sex.
Now you may think men would be fed up with this, but men have an instinct to overcome obstacles; you know how fun it is to blast away the enemy in computer games, something few women find the same joy in. We want to overcome and conquer. So we can find some joy in the whole courting thing, aiming for the big prize. (As long as you get it often enough, that is!)
So it's gonna be a cold day in hell before the pattern changes and women start courting men in any large numbers....
However, don't worry: when you're both married, she is the one who will have to get things for you - like a beer from the fridge while there's a game on. Imagine many years of her faithful service, and the courting seems a small price to pay.
ManUnited01
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2006
- Messages
- 53
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 39
haha ah well...i just thought that maybe waiting for her to make an effort would show her true interest level. Plus you come across as a Challenge. But i understand your point totally, thanks for that.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Guys who need that level of control love making all of the decisions. Women who like "old fashioned guys" love not having to do anything but "be a girl."ManUnited01 said:
Give me a woman who enjoys entertaining as much as being entertianed. Someone who will put forth an effort is usually much more appreciated than someone who's just along for the ride.